Help control the binge attack!

Hello everyone...I am writing this post for all those people out there who suffer from having these binge attacks! I am 34 years old and very body concious, I have always had issues with my body, never been extremeley over weight but I am the kind of girl that if Im not a certain size/weight then I totally lose my confidence! I agree that I do have somekind of eating disorder but not to the extreme of bulimia or anorexia... I just have these terrible uncontrollable binges that occur from time to time! Last year I had the greatest willpower ever and thought I had finally conquered this binge problem...I was dedicated to my healthy eating plan and lost a lot of weight, maybe too much to some people but fantastic for myself! Since divorcing my husband and the stresses and life changes it has caused, I have put on 14 lbs...ok, it may only be a stone in a whole year but I hate it! I am only a size 8, 5ft 4 and small frame... small, maybe tiny to some of you but for those that understand, there are parts of my body that are getting me down...fat on the hips, fat on the bum, fat on the thighs, fat on the arms! My clothes are all tight fitting so I notice every lump and bump! When I lost the weight before, I could wear anything at any time, loved dressing up and going out...now I seem to stick to the comfy..figure hiding clothes...jeans and hoodys! I can have the best wilpower ever but one taste of something naughty...sweets, biscuits, cakes, chocolate sets me off on one hell of a huge binge...its all or nothing for me! Sometimes all I can think about is food, it totally takes over!...I plan my binge for the next day...go through all the things I want...sometimes its frightening as I think of so many things I crave, varieties of chocolate bars, varieties of cakes, sweets, ice creams, biscuits... its impossible to eat them all...I try to just pick one of my favourite from each craving...its terrible...I start to panic...I cant even think of being healthy until I have gotten over the binge! It controls your life at that time and you just have to eat everything you crave for to get it out of your system! It gets out of control and I can end up consuming 5000 calories sometimes more...of pure junk! I end up getting a massive sugar rush and feel so shaky! Sometimes I eat so much purposely to make myself feel really sick (although I never actually have been!) to put myself off of eating it all ever again...I go to bed feeling disgusting, sick, bloated and regretting every moment of it, my insides feel dirty and full of rubbish... I feel so bad! That then sets me off on a massive healthy blitz but after 3 to 4 days the binge attack can return again...I lose 2lbs, gain 2lbs...its a nightmare!

 Well, I started on the 3rd November my healthy eating, calorie counting and NO junk, combined with 2 hours of power walking a day...I did my walking last year and it was a great contribution to my weight loss, it just fell off! Today is my 6th day...slow signs of improvement but I feel determined this time to shift it all! I am eating really well and controlled, sometimes eating more healthy treats than I should but better than junk...sometimes your body needs extra, especially when I am excercising so much! So far so good, it takes time and I know it is worth it, when you are slim you feel amazin, its the best!

  Well, I really want to hear from people similar to me, those who understand where I am coming from! Together we can all help...give tips on how to survive the binge attack and what foods are good for satisfying hunger and speeding up that metabolism! I have started drinking green tea today, recomended to me by my cousin...lets see how I get on! I also swear by porridge...40gm mixed with water and a sprinklin of cinnamon...(cinnamon is a great spice to speed up the metabolism!)  lots of healthy soups...carrot, lentil, tomatoe... to get through the day and a big dinner of salad and chicken or veggies and chicken...natural yoghurt and rice cakes as a healthy treat when Im feeling hungry! I usually survive the evening munchies by having a bowl of porridge or a small bag of healthy popcorn 90kcals with a 40kcal hot chocolate... its working for me so far!

  Please post on here and together we can help each other and look great for Christmas time...my goal is to be wearing a gorgeous little dress by mid december and look and feel happy about myself! We can keep each other informed of our excercise, weigh ins, calorie intake and...survivin the binge attack! Look forward to hearing from you all soon...Hayley xxx

I am so glad to hear that other people have this same problem.  I can go days and weeks without bingeing and then WHAM, I find myself stuffing food down my throat.  Things I don't even normally crave.  Its like I'm trying to fill some kind of emptyness.  I feel so good while I am munching and chewing but after I've had my fill the guilt and the sickness kicks in. And I hate myself! I wish there was some miracle cure out there for this.  No matter what I seem to do lately I can't seem to shed even one ounce.  I go down one pound then put on two. It makes me want to eat everything in the house.  I haven't binged in about three months, but I know that doesn't mean I won't again. I feel myself fantasizing about doing it.  Silly!

Alright, so I was on day 4 of my new healthy non binge kick and last night I fell off the wagon. I don't know why because in those 3 days I was doing so well I lost 4lbs (probably all water weight but still). I am like self sabotaging my very own efforts. I totally went over my daily calorie limit intake. Why do I keep doing this to myself!? Grr... so frustrating. And I know when I go on these binge eating sessions I sleep horribly that night and the next day I feel very bloated and not hungry. So, last night I slept horribly and now, this morning, I feel bloated and not hungry. I hate it. And usually when I fall off the wagon I have a hard time getting back on because I don't start my day on the right foot (ie I don't eat breakfast cause I'm not hungry and usually end up eating way too much later). Again, so frustrating!

I think I can also relate to this binging thing, I'm 30, 5ft 1 and currently a depressing 166.2lb so you can imagine how disgusted I am with myself. My lowest weight was when I was about 17/18 and I was verging on an ED at around 92lb. At the time I would starve myself the entire day until I came home and my mum had cooked my tea and I would try and feed as much of it to the dog as possible. Some days, however, I would raid the vending machine at college and binge on chocolate, usually 2 or 3 bars and I may also have a plate of chips and a cherry muffin (LOVE cherry muffins). This would happen once in a blue moon though cos at the time if I ate a grape before tea time I would be wracked with guilt.

I'm not sure exactly how I overcame this initial episode of erratic eating, I know I was threatened with doctors and the like but it never luckily got that far. Since then I seem to go from extremes of binging/starving/healthy eating. I can't seem to find a happy medium at times. I put on alot of weight after the borderline ED episode by going on the depo contraceptive injection and went from a uk size 8 to around a 14/16. I managed to lose nearly all of it with watching my eating, not particularly healthy eating, just not alot of it and excessive gym in time for a holiday.

After the holiday another 'incident' saw me regain it all back. Depression is a big factor in my eating habits and for a while I was too depressed to exercise and was eating crap. Gaining weight made me more depressed and less able to get my fat ass to the gym. Last year enough was enough and I saw the doctor and was put on anti depressants. This got me well enough to start exercising again and finally start shifting the weight. For the most part I eat healthy, I pack my breakfast and lunch to take to work with me and have something healthy aready out for tea. I don't have anything unhealthy in the house so I don't have to worry about losing my motivation and sneaking into the kitchen on an evening. This is during the week, the weekend is another matter. On a weekend if I get the urge or if i have friends down I may have a takeaway, but once something bad enters my mouth I can't just stop at that. I want donner meat and chips AND a pizza plus the free garlic bread. Then I may aswell have chocolate but a small bar won't do, it has to be  a massive one. And a bag of chocolate eclairs and a packet of biscuits sometimes too. I can't actually eat it all in one sitting so I finish it off the next day. I'm sick of sabotaging my weight loss on a weekend and I always swear next weekend I won't do it, and sometimes I don't but more often than not I find myself out of control yet again.....arrrrgh!

Hello everyone...I started this post and have not been back for ages! Reason being...bad times in my relationship...things all sorted now and happy again...plus weight loss...through stress! First time ever I actually could not eat, I felt so sick with all the upset and stress! I am now 114 lbs...that is the only good thing about it all! I have not binged or even had the urge to since the day I started this post...I intend to stay that way, my confidence is growing and so is my new wardrobe with my gorgeous new smaller outfits! If I can do this...so can all of you...I was the worlds worst at bingeing...I just dont want to get caught in that trap again...like I said before, once you get to a certain stage of weight loss...there is no stopping...your willpower gets stronger and stronger! Please let me know how you are all doing...my top tip is...buy some low fat cereal bars...grab one and a drink when you are hungry...the maple flavour is fantastic...so sweet and satisfying xxx Good Luck and keep in touch all of you xxx

I've been through binging too. It is the worst I'll drive home and I could have just eaten and not be hungry at all and see fast food and feel compelled to go through the drive thru. I've actually ordered and pulled away before going through with it only to find myself in tears because I don't know why I do it to myself. It is such a hard thing. I don't always do it but I'll do it for days to a week at a time and it is so hard. I'm considering going to Over Eaters Anon. I think it may help a lot. It is a drug for me. I've never done drugs and I don't have a drinking problem. Food is my drug. The only problem with that is you can't just say you'll never eat again... the thing about being addicted to food is you have to learn how to manage it. It really is an awful thing to go through. I'm so glad that there is such a great network here to cover all aspects of health and diet. Physical and emotional. It is really important. Best Wishes!

Love Megan

Hi everyone. I am a binge eater as well. I am 37 years old and with 5"6' my weight is currenly 173lbs which is very depressing. The worst thing for me during a binge attack is the awareness of doing it but still not being able to stop it. Let alone the guilty feeling afterwards.

After reading all the posts here I see all the similarities. Especially being a perfectionist. I am one myself. And yet the one thing that I really want to be "perfect" is just a total disaster. My body. I believe the whole thing started when I was around 13 or 14. I was never really fat just a bit chunky. But that was enough to get teased about it. Since then I guess I went through every possible forms of eating disorder. From being at the border of anorexia to bulimia to now starving myself and binge attacks. My clothes have a range from size 6 to 12 since my weight is constantly bouncing back and forth. I don't know how many times I tried to get it right. Eat healthy, exercise and all these things you are supposed to do. I think I tried every possible diet out there. And of course all sorts of diet pills. But I just can't figure out how to control these binge attacks. I can't even figure out what the trigger is cuz it happens under all kinds of situations. Many of the posts talk about depression. But I don't think I am depressed. I mean yes, my life is definitively not like I wanted it to be. And as a 2 time divorcee and a single mother life is very stressful and not always easy but I am not depressed about it. The only thing that really depresses me is my lack of control over my binge attacks/weight/ body issues. I tried all kinds of "tricks" and substitutesto overcome the urge of overeating but nothing worked for a long time. And it's not that I don't know the "right way" of eating. I talked to countless nutritionists. So, I have the tools to make it right. I even opened up about my eating situation to close friends to get some support. It wasn't easy and very embarrassing. But my friends are not around all the time. It's the time when I am home alone. I used to have a picture of a woman with the body I would like to have in my fridge. So every time I open it it would remind me of my goal and stop me from eating. It worked for a while. Until I got used to the pic and didn't really see it anymore.

I just hope that someday I can get the hang of it. Hopefully with the help of this site. Seems to be pretty good.

I binge too, but lately I don't know what's been happening but I can FINALLY have a pint of ice cream in the freezer without polishing it off. I just know what kinds are NOT allowed (mmm mocha capachino).

I binge on cereal, I binge on bread, waffles, ice cream, french fries, carrot sticks. Blah.

Anyway, I just wanted to say that this is hard for all of us, and there are a TON of us out there with problems very similar. I must also confess that I am a chronic pastry food sniffer (i sniff donuts, cookies, bread through the package, etc at stores), and I obsessively watch the food network. *sigh* I have to SEE the food being catered so I know if its high enough quality to splurge on.

I don't have bulemia, nor anorexica. I think we just stress and since we are limiting ourselves all the goodies we want all the time, we just crack and can't stop it!

But you're definately not alone. I bought a book at Boarders called "Trapped inside the thin cage" and even though it does break out different disorders, some of us are just bingers. Very enlightening book. I need to re-read it as the holidays are getting to me.

Hi everyone...thought I d get back to you all seeing as I started this post! Well...amazingly I am still binge free...I have been through alot of stress as I mentioned earlier...relationship wise! I lost my appetite which was fantastic for me but its creeping back now and some of the stress weight loss has returned...BUT...not binges! I made the biggest mistake of making flapjack last week with the kids...yes, I got addicted to it! That I can say is probably about the worst thing I have eaten, maybe a little too much at times than I should but still nothing that I could consider as a binge amount! My weight is 117lbs today...I just want to be 111lbs for Christmas! The weather is so bad out there I cannot do my walking...that helps so much with the toning...feel good factor and weight loss! Working away next week on promotions for Nintendo...hopefully I wont eat too bad in the evenings with the other guys! Take care and keep going everyone...Hayley x

BAD NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Last night I had my first binge for 20 days! It just happenned for no reason! I started my day so well yesterday, 2 cereal bars, 150 cals, rice cake and soup 150 cals and 4 plums... but then at 3pm I decided on a piece of toffee cake with my coffee! 450 cals...I thought that would be the one and only treat for the day...Oh so wrong! Had a fairly healthy dinner, salad with cheese, ham, sultanas, jacket potatoe and chilli sauce...(did feel bad about the cheese though because of all the fat in it!...but it was so delicious and a real treat for me!) Then it went drastically wrong...lucky the boyfriend was in the house or it could have got even worse! Huge bag of pick and mix sweets 350cals...ice cream...200cals...4 biscuits and hot choc...230cals...cadburys fruit and nut choc 600cals...choc raisons,choc nuts and choc brazils...200cals, small aero choc...50cals, choc biscuit...115cals...HOW DISGUSTING! My binge and my normal eating came to 3000 calorie approx! I got into bed with the biggest sugar rush ever! Why I did it I just dont know, I was out of control...If I had been home alone I know it would have been far far worse, I can normally consume 5000cals plus so I dont feel as bad as I have in the past!

  I have started today afresh and hope I can stick to my healthy eating again...maybe another 20 days binge free...I HOPE! Will let you all know how I am getting on...please all keep in touch, it helps so much to hear how everyone is doing...take care...love Hayley xxx

Hi Hayley. I totally hear you. Binging can bring up the worst feelings. I've actually wished I were dead for fear of living a life of continued unpredictability with eating. 

I don't want to diminish your experience or make you feel lectured, but have you considered that your body doesn't want to be a "magic number?" Your weight is a very slender 117. You clearly hear your mind telling you to be skinnier; do you think it's possible that your body is telling (or screaming at) you that it wants to remain at the weight it's at?

Regardless, I totally relate & I definitely know it's hard to let go of numbers and body image. I struggle with it daily; more like every minute. I just thought I'd throw it out there since noone else had. You've obviously been dealing with this a while (as have I) & have probably thought of it, I just wanted to add the thought to the discussion.

I've been horribly restrictive lately. A few months ago, at the advice of my therapist and recovery support, gave up calorie counting & have been "scared" right back into the compulsion to starve. If I don't have numbers I feel totally out of control. I had a really hard day of eating and eating and eating... what made it worse was not knowing how much I had consumed.

So I'm back. I've been conciously making my bmr despite old mental habits, but today I had headaches & delerium & knew I had to eat more. I realize, though, that I was not only concious of what my body needed, but I also ate. For me that was a huge step in the healthy direction. I don't want to trigger a binge and I don't want to waste away again (even though I could use to lose some chunk, for sure).

Eating disorders (specified or not otherwise) are such a difficult struggle. 2 steps forward, huge backslide, 1/2 step forward ad nauseum. Thank you for sharing your post. Just knowing others are fighting the fight is encouraging. It's so embarrassing to have a life that revolves around eating or not eating.

Hi Freshbakedpi... nice to read your thoughts...sounds like we are so similar! Yes...in my head I have to be that magic number, that size 6 etc...if Im not then I just dont feel good! Was just taking a look at my profiole picture...thought..."Oh I want to be that again!" I am probably only 10lbs heavier but to me its 100lbs! I am trying hard today to stick to healthy and small but its hard, the day after a binge your body starts to crave again, you think you can treat yourself with maybe one thing but I know that does not work...it just goes on and on! SO....staying strong till dinner time, big fat salad to fill me up and get me through the dreaded saturday evening on the comfy couch with the family eating lots of nice treats! Well...speak soon and hopefully let you hear some good binge free news...take care love Hayley xxx

Well...not good news Im afraid! I have had terrible BED this whole weekend! It started on the friday and now its sunday...I have been out of control! Just eaten everything and anything...I so thought I was over this...atleast till the new year! I feel that I have gained all my weight back, my confidence has gone out the window, I feel awful! Tomorrow is the 1st of December, a good incentive to clean my body and eat well! Keep in touch everyone and help me through December! Speak soon, love Hayley xxx

hey! i´m new here and i´ve just discover this blog, it´s like i have a little of everyone´s issues, it´s good to know there´s more like me struggling with ED. I just moved to Michigan (brrr) and since then i´ve been putting 5 lbs. I´ve always watch my eating and work religiously every day to burn at least 500 cal, but it seem that i sabotage my efforts whenever i feel on the perfect weight!! why is that? i need to loos weight for my sister´s wedding in 3 weeks, can i be able to loose 7 lbs? i already bought the dress before i moved gere, so i need to loos that weight and thinking like that it makes me feel anxoius! i´m newlywed aswell, and adapting to a new life with my 10 yr old boy (from my first marriage) it´s quite tough! so..the tough winter, newlywed, peanut butter addicted and a wedding coming! i think i´m going crazy and depressed!

i noticed that no one writes in this forum since last year!! how´s everyone doing?