Help on my exercise addiction...

Hi Guys,

Iv been trying to recover from anorexia for the past few months and iv progressed really well on the eating side of it and il now eat most things and have carbs every evening and every other lunch. Im upto eating between 1,300 and 1,500 calories on average a day.

The issue now is more along the exercise side. I did try to cut down abit on the exercise but in reality im actually doing more....i do an 8mile run 4 times a week along with 600sit ups each time but il admit that i dont eat anymore on the days i exercise. Im still also underweight (5ft 6in....100pounds) and everyday i feel ill. Im constantly weak, headaches, cold, sore muscles etc etc.

I kept telling myself and others that i was going to try and get better but im starting to realise its all been a lie and im still not in good health. I cant concentrate properly on anything (except exercise), i panic if i think about the week ahead and realise i cant exercise when i had planned too, i cant relax unless iv exercised etc etc. I have amazing friends, family and boyfriend but im not making the most of my time with them because im always so tired and worrying about the exercise. When i decided not to go for a run one night, my mood actually improves and i feel better about life (even though i do actually enjoy the exercise).

I know i need to re evaluate my life and decide what i want and what is important in order to do something about it. I hope that my life isnt revolved around exercise forever and punishing myself for not going but it doesnt feel right to give it up. The thought of slowing down on exercise just throws up "lazy, guilty, no point, what do i do then" type thoughts. I know you are supposed to exercise and i feel like id be breaking a "rule" by cutting down.

All im asking really is whether it is the exercise making me ill and how much i should do a week for the next month without over or under doing it.

I feel like "challenging myself" and "testing" to see if i can enjoy life more without the exercise addicition but it seems so scary!

Any help is greatly appreciated.

xxx

You need an off day at LEAST once a week in order for your muscles to recover.  When you exercise you break down the fibers and they need time to repair. 

I understand the feeling though.  I am a triathlete and work full time, so if I take a day off I feel like I'm not building to my potential.  We have to remember that in order for our bodies to improve it needs the time off. 

It's obvious that you need a day off when you are feeling run down, sick, etc.  Maybe on your "off'day you could do some light yoga or go on a slow, light walk?  I do that and it makes me feel as if I at least did something. 

Hope this helps. 

everyone needs at least one day off, and even professional athletes will take a week off every few weeks.  Rest is important for recovery and  PART OF TRAINING.

you are severely underweight and undereating, even if you were sedentary you are not eating enough.  You are at risk of stress fractures and other health complications with that much activity and so little food.

Maybe try to cut down a little bit (a few minutes) each day for awhile?  That may be easier.

You don't want to end up with a stress fracture and be forced to stop and take months off.

If you are underweight you need at least 2500 calories sedentary. As you are not sedentary you need to both cut back on the exercise and to increase your calories substancially. 1500 is what people lose weight on. Your illness is being contributed to by being underweight, undereating, and too much exercise. Honestly if you have been lying to yourself and your friends all this time you need to be honest with your friends, boyfriend and parents and doctor and ask for inpatient referral. It's that or you die slowly through your behaviours.

Hi there- I also used to have extreme issues with feeling that my day/week/whatever was pointless if I had not exercised.  For me, it was similar to brushing my teeth.  I did not understand how people could feel okay without a run/elliptical workout.  Like you, vacations or other times that should have been enjoyable and meaningful for me were not because I was preoccupied with the fact that I could not get my workout in.  

I think it will be too hard for you to give up exercise completely right now, even though it is what , I think, would benefit you the most.  Realize that it is okay if you gain weight.  Clearly it seems like this is still an issue for you if you are afraid of not exercising.  Not only is it OKAY, but you need to in order to look and feel your best-- only then can you improve and become more healthy.  Also keep in mind that if you don't change now, your body will eventually stop being able to run or exercise at all-- you will inevitably develop some kind of injury going at the rate you are.  That thought alone may scare you enough to back off a little.  

Every time you push yourself to run, actually picture your muscles fibers breaking down at this point--- because that is WHAT THEY ARE DOING if you still aren't eating enough (which, at 5'6" you aren't-- you would need to eat maybe 2500 calories a day if you are running 8 miles-- and that is too maintain, and you are trying to gain weight, no?).  This should help to discourage you, to literally picture your body falling apart in such a way.  But because you are having such a hard time giving up the running at the same time as eating more, perhaps what you need to do is to switch exercises to something a little more gentle (swimming, perhaps?) and that will give your leg muscles a break-- without  making you feel lazy.  But eventually, I believe, you will actually need to get yourself to a point where you can go a couple days without working out and still feel "okay" about yourself- as much for your mental health and for your weight gain that is needed.  There are so many other things in life to be enjoyed than exercise, and it is horrible to miss out on those.  

First of all I want to congradulate you on being able to admit you have a problem and asking someone for help. That is never an easy thing to do especially when you're suffering from an eating disorder... trust me I know.

It's really great that you're getting more calories than before into your body, but since you're doing so much exercise you definitely need to increase your intake (just like everyone else has been telling you). By now your body is probably used to, and somewhat addicted to the weak feeling you get after working out so hard. I'm sure just starving yourself made you feel the same way. But the whole problem is that you need to change your train of thought. You said all you can think about is the exercise, and that is the annorexic/addictive mind thought. I deal with this everyday too, my mind flip flops between what I'm going to eat tomorrow or how much exercise I need to do tomorrow. The only thing that gets me through it is to either preoccupy myself with some other constructive activity, or to talk to someone about it. You probably feel like your friends, family and boyfriend aren't going to understand you and why this is such a problem, normal people don't think like this... at least that's how I felt, but you have to talk to them so they understand what your going through. It can help so much! Talking to someone will help you free your mind and relieve the stress that it's putting on you. Because it is just as hard on your body to constantly be stressed out as it is to starve yourself or over exercise.

I really hope you talk to someone, whether it's a counsilor or friend because ultimately that is what is going to help you get better.

I'm no expert on anything like this, but maybe you could try a leasurely bike ride down the same route that you'd normally run?

That way you're still exercising and can enjoy yourself that way without all of the wear and tear.

With her weight being so low and her COE history she should NOT be exercising at all. Especially as she cannot bring herself to increase her calories to the 2500+ she will need.

ive never met someone that i feel like were so much alike. I am shorter and way a little bit more than you but i have an exercising problem as well. Also, when i dont exercise i feel better too but something just always urges me to exercise. I fidget, lift weights in my room, sit ups, push ups, and i even play lacrosse. I eat about a maximum of 1800 calories [ if i have my late night snack of popcorn and peanut butter=]] and i get headaches all the time. Also, i lost my period and i'm so scared that i am ruining my bodyy. if i could give you any advice, it would be to stop running and aerobics. Maybe you can do shorter runs but aerobics takes more energy and if your restricting your calories then you shouldnt be doing aerobics. Stick to something lighter like pilates or yoga. P.S have you lost your period? Message me if you want to talk!

I agree with Lala. You need to stop exercising entirely. Would you tell a cocaine addict trying to get clean that they could have one tiny hit a day? Exercise is our cocaine. No matter how much or how little you're doing of it, it's feeding your addiction. And the only way you'll learn to get comfortable with sitting with a full stomach is by cutting out the bad coping mechanism that is exercising. Increase to the 2,500 as fast as possible and quit exercising, unless you're happy in your illness (which it sounds like you aren't).

You're right, it is terrifying to give up exercise. But try and take it one day at a time. Isn't it scarier to think of your whole life being controlled by your addiction?

I agree with chemgirl. I'm an alcoholic, and while I believe that some problem drinkers can learn to drink more sensibly, the first thing to do with an addiction like that is to stop. I'm sure exercise is like that for you, and the way things are now it's harmful. Stop until you've got your life straightened around. Don't think about going back to it for the time being.

Thankyou all so much for your help, beleive me hearing people give me advise like that really helps me because i have huge self confidence issues and dont trust any of my thoughts or decisions anymore.  I feel like i can do this and im quite excited to "change my life" but i know how unpredicatiable i can be and im terrified that after a few days of not exercising il "breakdown".

I know there is noway of knowing how my body will change and where the weight gain will appear first but im so scared of becomming "wobbly".  Iv always been  naturally toned and muscly (and never needed to lose weight in the first place) but im scared iv messed my body up and im going to become "podgy".

When do you reccommend i start exercising again?

As for my period, im on the pill (never missed one, not pregnant) but for the past 4months iv hardly had any periods.  I thought this might be to do with all my "issues" but i thought that the pill would make you have them regardless??

Thankyou all again for your support!

xx

I have nothing to say besides that I understand how hard is when you know what you have to do, but you still are not able to push yourself to do it. I'm sure you have heard a lot of things about what to do. I just want to say, keep on trying. God bless you

I didn't get my exercise restriction lifted by my treatment team until I was 2 lbs away from my goal weight. So sit back and enjoy your stay... after the initial withdrawl it's kind of nice b/c the compulsion goes away... and it feels really kind of indulgent & luxurious to not exercise (and your body will be singing you hymns of praise). At least that's how it went for me.

Original Post by xbarmyx:

Thankyou all so much for your help, beleive me hearing people give me advise like that really helps me because i have huge self confidence issues and dont trust any of my thoughts or decisions anymore.  I feel like i can do this and im quite excited to "change my life" but i know how unpredicatiable i can be and im terrified that after a few days of not exercising il "breakdown".

I know there is noway of knowing how my body will change and where the weight gain will appear first but im so scared of becomming "wobbly".  Iv always been  naturally toned and muscly (and never needed to lose weight in the first place) but im scared iv messed my body up and im going to become "podgy".

When do you reccommend i start exercising again?

As for my period, im on the pill (never missed one, not pregnant) but for the past 4months iv hardly had any periods.  I thought this might be to do with all my "issues" but i thought that the pill would make you have them regardless??

Thankyou all again for your support!

 

xx

if you are on the pill and your periods have been affected, that is a VERY bad sign.  It means, even with the pill, your body isn't responding well.  You MUST take a lot of rest and time off.

At your weight you're not toned and muscley. You're bones and lack of essential body fat. Undereating will have wasted your "muscle".

Like for_zev has said, the fact not even hormone treatment via the Pill isn't helping you is a sign your body is in dire straights. You need more help that you have right now and I really, really think you need to sort yourself IP treatment out.

Again, thankyou for your kind responses it is greatly appreciated.

I really dont see that im THAT underweight and i feel like i eat enough to keep going for it to affect my period.  I have gained a couple of pounds from my lowest....and i still had periods at my lowest.

Im surpised at how well im doing with no exercise...but it scares me the fact that i never thought id sit here and have no interest in doing any.  Im worried that il turn against it and never want to do it again and become lazy etc.

How can i not have any muscle? How do i manage my running if my muscle has wasted?

Im obviously going to gain weight by eating the same amount without exercise but i dont understand what "sort of weight" it will be? Is it fat or muscle?

I used to be naturally muscly ... have i lost that forever now?

Il admit that this is the longest iv gone without exercise for nearly 2 years(5days) but somehow (even with swollen tonsils and ear aches), im already feeling better.  Iv got some emotions back i had lost and finding interest in things i "couldnt be bothered" with....is this due to relaxing?

Thankyou all againxxxxxxxxxx

I really dont see that im THAT underweight

Of course you don't. A starved brain can't recognise that.

i feel like i eat enough to keep going

What energy you are running on is literally survival energy. Your body, searching for food. This is why when restricting individuals usually feel sluggish when they finally begin properly refeeding, albeit temporarily sluggish - because their body can relax, it's no longer having to constantly look for food.

How can i not have any muscle? How do i manage my running if my muscle has wasted?

Who said you don't have ANY muscle? Of course you have some, but likely not a lot of it. I suffered muscular atrophy; at that stage, at times, I couldn't even stand.

Im obviously going to gain weight by eating the same amount without exercise but i dont understand what "sort of weight" it will be? Is it fat or muscle?

No you aren't. You're eating the sort of intake people LOSE on. What you have "gained" will be water. You need a minimum of 2500. Look at things this way: if you're gaining on 1300 what the heck will you be maintaining on? Get your calories up, to help your metabolism and your body in reparing. As for what you gain it will be fat and muscle. You cannot gain soley muscle, you cannot gain soley fat. And your body needs fat to function. Particularly as you are female.

Iv got some emotions back i had lost and finding interest in things i "couldnt be bothered" with....is this due to relaxing?

Yes. To be blunt.

You are still not really listening to how much danger you are still in. It's a fantastic step, cutting the exercise, but you need to still increase your calories. And you REALLY ought to discuss IP with your doctor.