Help!

I am so frustrated.  I am 5ft 6in tall, 165 lb, 54 yo female

I have been logging in food and activity since mid January.  I eat between 1200 and 1400 cal a day and I have increased my exercise to 1/2 hour 2 days per week and 1 hour 2 days per week at fat burning heart rate.  I have had 3 days where I have probably had 500 to 700 calories extra.  

I went from 165 to 163 and stayed steady at 163 for sev weeks and today have gone back up to 165, for a net of zero loss.  I have definately eaten less and exercised more than before I started.  My clothes do not fit differently.

I do not have time to increase exercise much.  Should I try to decrease calories?  I am feeling very blue and I Really hate myself.  I am confused by this.

When you're not particularly overweight I think the important things to get right are the calorie content of your diet and the idea of 'regular daily exercise' .  With your stats and a light level of activity you need 2000 cals a day to maintain your weight.  So your intake has to be a steady 1300-1400 cals a day.  I'm sure you're doing so already, but make sure you weigh and measure everything you eat and drink rather than guessing.  It's too easy to eat just a bit too much otherwise.

What you eat is as important as how much.   Fresh wholefoods rather than prepared/processed foods will reduce the risk of fluid retention.   Choose more white meat and fish and fewer red meats and eggs... eat more bean-based meals and fewer meat-based meals.... home-cook rather than eating out or buying frozen dinners.   All of those things might help make a difference

Finally, when it comes to exercise I think it's more effective for weight-loss to get 1/2 an hour or more of something reasonably active every day rather than sporadic vigorous exercise.

Other than that, try to see the bigger picture.  Eating better food, watching the portions and taking regular exercise might not be bringing your weight down yet but you're improving your long-term health prospects daily. That's worth doing even if you never lose another ounce.  So don't feel blue and really don't hate yourself.  

Also if you would increase your workout time to 90 minutes 2 days a week and 90 minutes on the other 2 days you will see a weight loss. Only exercising 30-60 minutes will maintain and not loose. You must work out 90 minutes then you will see a difference. During the warm weather I work out for 90 minutes 4 days a week, then 2 hrs on Sunday. I lost 20 lbs when I did that. Even now during the winter if I work out for 90 minutes I burn off calories. Good Luck with your weight loss. Also gi-jane is right you are eating too few calories, you need to up your calorie intake. It is weird but if you would eat more you will loose the weight. I took my calorie intake up to 2100 and the fat burned off. I would wake up in the morning and feel less fat around my midrift. I believe my waist went down to 29 at one point.  It is hard to loose weight eating 1200 calories.  I had to learn to cook everything and stop eating out, and eating whole foods worked for me. 

I can just imagine what I would be thinking, p169649:  "I can stay fat without curbing calories and exercising - what's the point of all this?"  Although I would agree with gi jane that probably "fat" doesn't describe you.  But you would like to take off some pounds. 

So your frustration is understandable - currently I'm writhing around over the 1.5 of water weight I gained this week, so I am no one to judge you!  However, I'm going to tell you what I'm telling myself:  This is an inside job.  If I put off loving myself until I am that perfect goal weight, I will never reach it.  I am looking at a lifestyle change, which means I have to pull away from the rewards I seek on the scale.  Especially at our age, p169649 (I'm 51), the health benefits of being lean and fit have got to start mattering more than vanity.

Back at the beginning of my weight loss journey, I think I would have given up in despair if I had been told I needed to exercise 90 minutes 4 days a week, or if I had been told I needed to exercise every day.  These are both great, healthy plans, and I wouldn't have had the willingness to do them back then.  (Shoot, now that I think about it, I exercise 5 days a week and only 3 of them have 90 minute workouts, if I'm lucky!) 

So do what you are willing to do.  Focus on the types of foods you are eating and whether they are feeding your body or appeasing your appetite (diet foods work to mimic the old, unhealthy eating style - I'm not a big fan).  How often are you weighing?  Some people promote weighing less often and learning instead what foods make them feel good and give them energy vs foods that sap energy and provoke craving.  I weigh once a week to keep denial at bay.

Find forums, groups and individuals who share your goals and struggles, support and inspire you, keep talking, keep listening, keep learning.  Do not use the scale a a weapon in the war against your self-esteem. 

Thanks so much for your wisdom.  I am going to try to up my calories to 1500 per day and up my exercise to 300 cal/ day and see what happens.  I am hoping for the best.  Thanks for the encouragement!