Help me out here...

I've been very fortunate to be the recipient of a very generous scholarship to law school. There are about 20 contributing sponsors, and I believe they may vary in age...but I know the main sponsor graduated from the law school in 1967...just to give you guys a ball park of how old they are. They've planned a light lunch for me and one other recipient.

Here's the thing...I'm atrociously terrible at small talk. Really, really bad. I'm even worse when I'm around older people (I'm only 24). I assume I will ask them things like: How long have you been practicing? What do you specialize in? How have things changed in the school?

Aaaand that's about where I draw a blank. How do you guys do small talk? Has anyone had a similar experience? What do you think are topics I should avoid? (I'm guessing, "Are you retired?" is bad...)

I use the "Yes and" response to initiate small talk.  Especially if they respond further to it, then you look like a great conversationalist.

"Hello,  I'm Sauv.  Isn't it great weather we're having?"

"It has been a particularly nice fall."

"Yes, and it's so nice for long walks with my dog.  Have you any pets?"

"I've got a dog. *Usually at this point they'll tell you all about their dog and you can ask more leading questions*

"So young lady, do you realize what a great honor you're being given?"

"oh yes, and it's wonderful to have my hard work pay off.  I'm sure you know how tough it can be!"  Smile big

"Yes, but kids studied harder in my day!  There was no gallivanting!"

"Yes, and I sure don't see how they have the time for it!  I spent what little free time I have taking long walks with my dog.  Have you any pets?"

Don't just ask questions, or it sounds like an interrogation or a script where you're not really listening.  If you offer some small response that touches on what they said, it shows you were listening and people really respond to that.

Plus, they can tell if your nervous, and they'll cut you some slack.  Small talk shouldn't neccessarily be shop talk so your questions are fine, as long as they're slipped into further conversation.

Definitely don't ask if they're retired! 

The most important conversational skill is listening.  Really pay attention to what people are saying.  Don't be thinking about what your next question should be.  Don't worry about sounding dumb. Listen and respond to what they are saying.  If they mention the kind of law they are practicing (contact, divorce...) show some interest in what they think of their specialty, especially if you are interested in going into their specialty.  If you can get them started with "war stories" (talking about interesting cases they have worked on) your only problem may be getting them to shut up.

Original Post by sauvignon:

I've been very fortunate to be the recipient of a very generous scholarship to law school. There are about 20 contributing sponsors, and I believe they may vary in age...but I know the main sponsor graduated from the law school in 1967...just to give you guys a ball park of how old they are. They've planned a light lunch for me and one other recipient.

Here's the thing...I'm atrociously terrible at small talk. Really, really bad. I'm even worse when I'm around older people (I'm only 24). I assume I will ask them things like: How long have you been practicing? What do you specialize in? How have things changed in the school?

Aaaand that's about where I draw a blank. How do you guys do small talk? Has anyone had a similar experience? What do you think are topics I should avoid? (I'm guessing, "Are you retired?" is bad...)

Eh, if they're lawyers, they're probably cranky and not all that into small talk themselves.  BTW, 1967 is not that old for a lawyer and is very likely not retired.  I know a lawyer here in town who is 101.  I think they never quit.

I'd say talk to them about your goals and why you got interested in law school in the first place.  Oh, and definitely ask them for war stories ... lawyers love to tell their war stories.  And remember, lawyers as a rule love the sound of their own voices.  You may wind up needing to do a lot of smiling and nodding and "uh-huh"ing rather than actually contributing to the conversation yourself.

Congrats on the scholarship and good luck!

I agree with Lysistrata.  It is almost certain you will not have to lead the conversation, and to tell the truth, you may not have to take much part in it at all!

Just smile, be friendly and interested.  You'll do great!

Original Post by lysistrata:

Original Post by sauvignon:

I've been very fortunate to be the recipient of a very generous scholarship to law school. There are about 20 contributing sponsors, and I believe they may vary in age...but I know the main sponsor graduated from the law school in 1967...just to give you guys a ball park of how old they are. They've planned a light lunch for me and one other recipient.

Here's the thing...I'm atrociously terrible at small talk. Really, really bad. I'm even worse when I'm around older people (I'm only 24). I assume I will ask them things like: How long have you been practicing? What do you specialize in? How have things changed in the school?

Aaaand that's about where I draw a blank. How do you guys do small talk? Has anyone had a similar experience? What do you think are topics I should avoid? (I'm guessing, "Are you retired?" is bad...)

Eh, if they're lawyers, they're probably cranky and not all that into small talk themselves.  BTW, 1967 is not that old for a lawyer and is very likely not retired.  I know a lawyer here in town who is 101.  I think they never quit.

I'd say talk to them about your goals and why you got interested in law school in the first place.  Oh, and definitely ask them for war stories ... lawyers love to tell their war stories.  And remember, lawyers as a rule love the sound of their own voices.  You may wind up needing to do a lot of smiling and nodding and "uh-huh"ing rather than actually contributing to the conversation yourself.

Congrats on the scholarship and good luck!

 OP, lys is about the best person on CC to answer your question...so i'm glad she did.  :)

the one other thing i'd add is don't be afraid to be yourself.  if you're naturally a little quiet, that's not a bad thing. 

totally not the same thing, but when i started my current job, i was really worried about the fact that i'm somewhat reserved...as the girl in my job previously is all kinda of boisterous.  turns out, people appreciate that i'm quieter than her. 

so be friendly, ask questions, and listen to responses. but be yourself :)

I'll have to keep it in mind to listen. I realize I sometimes fall into the trap of continuously firing off questions. 

Thanks for the great advice, everyone :)!

What's the funniest/most memorable/most intense story you can tell about practicing?  No matter how badly they tell the story, they'll be interested.  ;-)