help im really struggling

Hey guys, i really just need some support right now. Im trying to beat my ongoing binge/restrict days that occur for me following my anorexia, and its really really hard. Ive found it in myself the true goal to put the weight on, but its so much harder for me because my metabolism is so fast. Its no longer the calories that ive eaten in the past 24 hours that bothers me anymore, and im proud to have moved on from that mindframe. But the bloating has gotten so bad i look 7 months pregnant, and thats the issue im dealing with here. I cant help but see my fat stomach and i get so, so upset about it... thats the part that is really bothering me right now. Can anyone offer words of encouragment or advice?? because i really need them right now. :(

*HUGS!* Sorry you are feeling bad right now! The bloating will stop, I PROMISE. It is just part of the whole weight gain process. Almost everyone goes through it. It will go down. I know how hard it is though, trust me I do! You seem to be doing so well though! Try and focus on your achievements, not on the bloating. Again, *HUGS!*

thank you for the reply... i need to hear that im not alone in this when i just feel that way.... im trying not to look at myself because everytime i do i feel like bursting into tears, because it seems like im undoing everything in the past year i tried so hard to achieve. that makes me feel like im weak and im losing everything i worked so hard for..

Your never losing if you keep fighting...and this is your life you are fighting for....but it seems like you want to "liveyourlife" haaa...so live it to the fullest...one small step at a time!

thanks guys :-)

ummm im freaking out at the moment. alot. 2 days ago i was 117lbs. i weighed myself im up 10 lbs. how much of that is actual weight and how much is water/bloat? yes i have eaten my whole kitchen straight for the past 2 days. but is that real weight? if it is i might as well die. 

No it is not REALLY ten pounds. You would have to be eating like 16,000 calories a day! Relax, you can do this!

i dont doubt that ive eaten that much. for me ive restricted my food for a year, and now im trying to gain, and that itself sends a wave of food cravings and emotions into my head and i will eat everything in sight. 1/2 of a whole banana bread loaf, 3/4 of a 2-L tub of vanilla icing, 1/4 jar of PB.

yes that is truly how much i have eaten. i think it might possible for that to be real weight.

oh.my.god. 

Not even close to 16,000 girl! Chill and focus on getting yourself better :)

really? ok ill believe you, and lets just hope youre right.

Ah, ok thank you im taking things day by day.