Help! My mom thinks I don't eat!

Since counting calories and what not, I've lost quite a bit of weight: from 140 down to 125 lbs. But since my mom doesn't SEE me eating she automatically assume that I'm starving myself to get to this weight. She demands to know how much I weigh every morning, and she's trying to have one of my siblings monitor me to make sure I am eating.

Thing is, I've cut out a lot of crap from my diet, and I've ALWAYS had issues with people watching me eat (there's always been SOME pig/binge/glutton comment when I did). I tell my mom the things I've eaten through the day,and she calls me a liar to my face! I've even shown her my logs on here, and she still doesn't believe me, she even went as far to say that I was taking drugs.

How can I keep on my weight loss track without being accused of starving myself?

Do you have a history of not eating what you've said you've eaten?

Perhaps you might need to negotiate some kind of compromise...if you can't stand to be watched, maybe you could video tape it?

sorry in advance because this is not what you want to hear, but given your history your mom has every reason to be concerned. I know she may be annoying right now but she cares about you and doesn't want to see you harming yourself again. Based on your other posts I'm not sure if you really are eating enough, but I do hope you're losing weight the healthy way this time. Also given that you're at 125 i wouldn't recommend losing much more because you're already at a healthy weight. 

I understand not wanting to eat in front of people, I hate that too and feel like everyone is judging me when I do. BUt the truth is most people don't pay attention and this is just another symptom of the eating disorder that we need to challenge and overcome. My advice would be to try to eat more meals with her so she can relax and know for sure that her precious daughter is healthy. Plus eating meals with family members is good overall and helps everyone become closer. As nervous as it makes me I do love family meals and spending time with my parents and the only time they actually watch me eat is when I'm visibly nervous or refuse to eat things. Try to arrange more family meals and focus more on relaxing and enjoying the conversation. YOu can do it dire! beat down those final holds the ed has on you! 

Bottom line is that your mother loves you.

I will use a personal example to compare. My fiancee' is a recovered alcoholic. He was drinking about a half-gallon of vodka every 2 days, and believe it or not, he was still sweet as can be and though I knew that he drank (we both drank, I THOUGHT in moderation), I had no idea that he was drinking so MUCH and he lied and hid it from me. When I found out, and he quit, we had to call the ambulance because the withdrawals were causing seizures and heart failure. When he got to the hospital he was in and out of consciousness. He was in ICU for 3 days or so and then in a regular hospital room for about a week. He could have died had we not called the ambulance.

So skip to present time. He hasn't hasn't had a drink in a year. He is still a wonderful man and I trust him in all other aspects. But we now have a breathalyzer, which I have him blow in randomly for my own sanity, and consequently his! Is it because I don't love him? Absolutely not! Is it because I don't trust him? Yes. Not when it comes to alcohol! I have forgiven, but it would be foolish to forget, and risk the same thing happening again. It is a life or death issue in his case, and trust is EARNED. Hopefully in 5 years I will not feel the need to have him blow in a breathalyzer, not have the fear that he is going to secretly do something that will kill him and tear apart the lives of my family and me. But until that time comes, I need assurance that this person that I love will not do this thing that hurts himself. He understands that.

I have every right and every reason to have this fear. I imagine that your mom feels much the same way. She NEEDS assurance that her daughter whom she loves is not doing something again that will hurt or kill her. She cannot leave an issue of such importance up to blind faith, because to her, your health is probably THE most important thing in the world. When you feel degraded because of how she isn't trusting you about this, put yourself in her shoes. It is important for her to have some sort of proof that you are not hurting yourself. She needs he own "breathalyzer." And she deserves one. Feel loved.

everybody here pretty much covered everything I came to say. Having a mother that cares for you in that way is something that you should be thankful for. Maybe you should tell us how much you are consuming a day for calories and what you are having..how many times a day do you eat and what kind of physical activity you perform on a daily basis. Mothers sometimes can exaggerate Ive been there, but not as often if in the past we have done ourselves some harm. If you really are doing things correctly and feeding yourself properly, you can always tell her to spend a day with you....just one weekend where it will just be the two of you...spending time together and eating together meals....I did this with my mother after I recovered, because she too was thinking I wasnt feeding myself enough (i wasnt gaining weight) and after doing this she trusted me and never got on my case about eating ever again...only sometimes, but because she is my mother and she cares. IF you do have a problem I suggest u open up to her, and dont lie...that way she'll always fully trust you.

good luck

-xo

sometimes with parents you just can't win.

i used to have an ed and even though i've been mostly free of it for months, everytime i go to the bathroom and cough my mother asks me if i was in the bathroom making myself throw up.

even right now, i'm eating 1500-1700 calories a day and my mom sees me eat snacks (she thinks snacks are un-necessary) and is like "you're gonna gain weight!" and then the next day she'll be like "you're getting smaller :)"

haha, moms eh?

Well...........Do you have a book to show her that you should weigh whatever for your age and weight?

Do you eat meals in front of her so she sees that you are eating?

If it isn't an issue then you shouldn't be defensive.

.......yes........as others said.....be grateful that your mother cares enough to ask.

My mom does the same thing to me.  I dont know how old you are but I am 26 and live 3600 miles away from her.  It never stops.  Moms always feel like they should be fattening you up. And if you dont feel like eating everything that they put infront of your face something is wrong with you.  Just continue to tell her that you are eating and that you are trying to be more healthy.  That's what I do. Good Luck.

I know what you mean.  I've lost 68 pounds in the past year and a half and everytime I go to eat with friends or family I notice them watching me to see if I actually eat my food.  (There is no reason for them to question me!) I've also made a note to myself never to go to the bathroom within a few hours after eating because someone once made a comment after going to the bathroom after eating that now they understand how I lost so much weight.  Not a funny joke.  It's really sad that the people around you don't believe in you enough that you have the will power to lose weight the healthy way. 

It's hard work and for people to say or think I have some sort of eating disorder really offends me.  Its really frustrating!

Thing is, I've cut out a lot of crap from my diet, and I've ALWAYS had issues with people watching me eat (there's always been SOME pig/binge/glutton comment when I did). I tell my mom the things I've eaten through the day,and she calls me a liar to my face! I've even shown her my logs on here, and she still doesn't believe me, she even went as far to say that I was taking drugs.

This sounds exactly (even to the accusation of drug taking) like what my mum accused me of initially. But like everyone else has said, your mother loves you. She is concerned about you - especially given your history, she has a right to worry. My dad worries about me too and kepts referring to my diet as "suicidal" because I cut a lot of the rougher stuff out (compared to his diet, I would question which one is more suicidal!). For me, it took me having them talk to my doctor and explaining the nutritional benefits of what I was eating to get them to calm down. And even still, they have trouble sometimes.

What shinyblackpit has written is bang on. Gibbit is also right - 125 is a healthy weight for your height. You don't need to lose much more if anything at all. Treat this as a blessing, and not a curse - your mum just cares about you. Eat meals with family or around them where you can and keep pushing on. Don't let this throw you. Even though you may be doing better old habits are hard to shake and to break and they will still worry that you're lapsing. 

lately my mom decided to be the food police as well; i'm 27 AND married! and lost over 40 lbs over 2 yrs. now she decided that 125 lbs is enough and is acting really strange : what have you eaten? please eat...etc

Thankfully we don't live together b/c it will probably be even worse.

For your own sake plan your bigger meals around her as much as possible...she'll know you eat and you are healthy

from what I know about you.. YOU have an EATING DISORDER... your mom has every right to be worried... stop trying to be 'defensive', you just come across as being in denial

-i've cut a lot of foods from my diet

-i don't eat in public

-i have issues with people watching me eat

these are all symptoms that many with EDs share, I don't know what your trying to prove. If anything you are upset that your mom may now prevent you from losing anymore weight...

like sorry if I'm being rude, but everyonce in a while I browse the ED Recovery Club and I have noticed that you seem to get on everyone's bad side for your trigger comments... just saying

Carmen: In Dire's defence she has gotten her calories up from a rather low intake to something more like what she needs as a teenager. And, as someone who has an ED as much as she does, surely you would also know how hard the mindset can be to shake sometimes even when calories are adequate?

I know I still get uncomfortable eating in front of others, and believe it or not I still get those "pig" comments from my family despite their knowing I need what I do and recognise how disconcerting it can be to hear that, or upsetting because you feel you have done so much to get even just closer to better and someone throws it back at you. To jump down Dire's throat and say she is only frustrated because her mum may prevent her from losing more weight is also jumping the gun. It is the same in the way that you just posted - accusations that she is getting worse when she's getting better.