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Help, please!

I joined this forum because I think I have disordered eating. I need help but I don't know where to go or how to change. I used to weigh about 154 pounds. My sophomore year, I lost about ten pounds. In May 2009, I weighed about 144 lbs. This summer I tried to lose weight by exercising and cutting back calories. I'm at about 119 lbs now and somewhat skinny. I still have a small tummy, and would like to lose five more pounds. However, I've had three family emergencies, and in the past month, I think I've become semi anorexic. In the summer, I cut back to about 1100 calories a day. Now I'm happy if I eat about 700 calories a day. I know that is way too low, and I'm not losing weight anymore! Sometimes I feel dizzy. I'm trying to up my calorie intake, but I'm so afraid of gaining weight. What do I do? How do I get my calorie intake back to a normal level for a girl my age without gaining weight? I realize I have a problem... I need help.

See a doctor.  CC can only help people in active recovery and who are already in receipt of treatment or other support.   If you're feeling ill, underweight, malnourished then you need to be checked out physically.  If you're irrationally frightened of gaining weight then you need counselling or psychiatric treatment.

Accepting you have a problem is part of the battle.  Next step is to talk to the people closest to you (parents, for example) and seek help from appropriate experts rather than a website message board

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I can't get help from my parents or a doctor. I'm doing this by myself because I don't have anyone who understands in my life at the moment. I just wanted to know how many calories I should have in a day, and whether I permanently changed my metabolism. I've taken steps already to limit my bad behavior - I disabled the scale this morning and my goal is to eat 1100 calories a day for the next week, 1200 the next week, so on. I want to know if anyone else has gone through this, and if they have, how the got "out" of it. I really want to change. I hate being hungry all the time. I understand that a website message board is not the best place, but there's no where else to go for the next couple weeks since my family just had a major loss. I definitely am not promoting an eating disorder - I want to change and realize that my eating habits are messed up.

Reality check.....   Your family may have had a 'major loss' but that doesn't mean they've stopped caring about its existing members....  In fact, I'm sure your family would be horrified to think that you didn't feel you could talk to them when you needed help.  If they're grieving you're presumably grieving as well (?).   That also means you need help - not sit miserably on the sidelines, quietly starving yourself and thinking you're not entitled to a little love and affection.

I can't tell if 119lbs makes you a healthy weight or underweight.  If you're still a healthy weight for your height aim for 2200-2400 cals a day as standard.  If you're underweight then aim for 2700-3000 until you're back to a healthy weight.

So talk to your parents.  No matter what else is going on in their lives, you are still their top priority.  And if you carry on feeling sick and dizzy then make an appointment to see your doctor.

hey, I went off to college last year and dropped around twenty pounds (started at around 112 and got down to ~95lbs) and I had the same mentality as you. I wasn't suffering any sort of family loss, but as far as food goes, 700 calories a day sounded about right. Once Christmas came around my family finally confronted me and said either I gain weight or they take me to the doctor. I desperately didn't want to go to the doctor so I decided to do it by myself. ***BAD IDEA*** I didn't learn how to gain weight properly and I started a horrible binge cycle which ultimately led to me gaining back all my weight and more...only now (nearly a year later) am I finally starting to get it under control.

Moral of the story: as ashamed or shy or scared as you may be, just go to the doctor and be very clear and blunt. You need a nutritionist to help you gain weight in a healthy way so you don't have the other extreme to deal with (binging). Trust me, your food problems will be over much more quickly and you can worry about more important things.

I know getting help can be hard, but I agree with gi-jane.  You need to see a doctor.  You have a disorder and you need help for it.  If you are uncertain or unable to see your doctor or open up to your parents right now then try other sources. There are hotlines and websites you could use.  But, you should get help before it comes to a point that you are worse off and putting your health at serious risk.  And if your family has suffered a tragedy, I am sure you don't want to be a potential cause of the next tragedy.  I wish you all the best and hope you friend the strength to ask for help.

www.anad.org/  

(eating disorders site)

Katie

Thanks, everyone. I sort of talked to my mom this morning. She doesn't really understand the extent to which I need help, but she changed my doctor's appointment to this upcoming week. I'm going to ask my doctor if I can speak to a nutritionist about weight maintenance. Thanks again for everyone's advice. Hopefully I can get through this.

Well done for having the courage to speak up and well done mum for bringing the doctor appointment forward.  I know you don't want to worry your mother with the details but try to open up as much as possible.   And do be 100% honest with your doctor about the extent of the problem so that they can point you in the right direction.... even print out this message thread and take it along to prompt you.

You'll get through this because you sound strong and you at least had the good sense to make the right move rather than struggle on alone.   It's people who refuse to accept they have a problem and don't seek help until it's too late that don't get through.

Be honest, work on any instructions you're given and you'll be fine.

It's good that you spoke with your mom and that you're going to see the doctor soon.  I have to warn you that most people don't truly realize how damaging disordered eating is both mentally and physically.  Be patient with her and try to be open both about what you're doing and your fears.  You also need to be very honest with your doctor.  Do not try to put the best spin on things, most people don't dig any deeper than a question and answer.  It's up to you to be absolutely honest about what you've been doing and what you're willing to do to get better.

Is it normal for me to gain weight? I've eaten about 1150 calories friday, saturday, and sunday, and I'm up to 121.5. (My mom asked me to weigh myself so that I could tell the Doctor about how I gain weight if I eat too much.) I mean, in all the searches that I have done, a girl my age and my activity level requires 1800 to 2000 calories.

Yes it is 100% normal.  Anyone that has been this badly starved will gain weight if they eat just a little more.  It's because your body is repairing the damage done and this involves retention of fluid.   1150 still means you are starving.... so increase to 2200-2400 cals as soon as possible which is the right amount for a girl your size and age.  No half-measures....100%   Ask mum to make sure you get the full amount.  Your weight will float upwards for a time but your body will quickly start to use the extra energy and things will stabilise.

Keep going and try not to panic.  Gaining weight is normal and necessary.  Talk to your doctor about your fears, however, because they are typical of disordered eating.

Original Post by saraelizabeth12:

Is it normal for me to gain weight? I've eaten about 1150 calories friday, saturday, and sunday, and I'm up to 121.5. (My mom asked me to weigh myself so that I could tell the Doctor about how I gain weight if I eat too much.) I mean, in all the searches that I have done, a girl my age and my activity level requires 1800 to 2000 calories.

Everyone gains weight if they eat too much. You're only gaining on such a low amount because your metabolism slowed down from undereating. So yes, you will gain weight while you undereat - and 1150 calories is still undereating.

There is no point to you dragging out your continual undereating - upping by 100 calories is far too slow and simply gives you an excuse to continue undereating. If you know you should be eating 2000 calories, then eat that amount. Your metabolism will speed up again when you start eating a normal amount again.

You also mentioned talking to a nutritionist about weight maintenance. Please only maintain that weight if it is actually within a healthy weight range (BMI 20-25) - if you are underweight your problems will continue by trying to maintain.

Thanks. I think I'm not going to change how I eat until I see my doctor and nutritionist just because I don't know what else to eat. And I really don't need to gain weight, I'm not underweight, since I'm rather short.

Knowing that gaining weight under these circumstances has helped me a lot. It's still going to be really hard watching myself gain weight, but I guess I just need to get back to normal. And even if I do gain five pounds, I can always lose it if I eat healthfully after I am better.

Part of getting better is eating to support your body instead of eating to achieve a perfect weight.  Your body is a superb machine that needs proper nutrition and sufficent calories to function properly.  Your doctor and nutritionist will be able to help you determine what weight is actually good for you and whether or not it's advisable to try losing weight after your recovery.