help! question for girls: does anyone else have pain during sex? is this a normal?

so i lost my virginity to my boyfriend about 4 months ago, and i don't know when it started hurting like this , but it makes me sad.

it only hurts when we first start to have sex, and after i orgasm if we try to continue having sex.

i've looked this up online, but idk what to make of it! we've tried using lube, different positions ect. i know this isn't an emotional thing either-- i completely trus and love Stu, he is my best friend. and both our parents know.

this is really upsetting so please take this seriously. it is sad that something so good has become painful. sometimes i think it might hurt because i EXPECT it to hurt now  please help!

How does it hurt?  Internally, or more like chafing?

it's hard to explain... it's not chafint--i know that feeling. it's not a deep pain (not a shooting pain)

the pain is sharp, kindof like tiny tears

You need to discuss it with your ob-gyn.  It could be a mental thing or it could be something more serious.

:( oh shoot this is what i was sorried about. i hate having health issues :(

better safe than sorry i guess

Don't panic or worry about it too much! 

For me it can really hurt like a sharp kind of really grating pain just in certain positions. so maybe keep trying until you find how you are comfortable.

If you trust him and he loves you then he won't mind keeping trying and changing everything until you are happy.. 

How often are you having sex?

I had this "tiny tears" kind of feeling when I lost my virginity. Basically, losing your virginity caused your vagina to stretch open big time to accommodate his penis. I don't care if you've played with toys, fingers, whatever, a penis is different and stretches you.

Because of this, you need to take a break from penetration for a while. I also suggest using all-natural aloe vera and vagisil where it hurts. I know vagisil is for yeast infection, but it helped me when I did it. You just need to give your vagina a little time to heal.

If you haven't been having sex regularly since you lost your virginity, then there could be an underlying problem that you need to see your doctor about.

But to me, your symptoms sound a lot like what I had and it was just because of him rubbing over skin that was already tender from being stretched. I imagine it kind of like a stretch mark, even though that's totally not what it is, that's kinda what it feels like.

Don't worry, by the way, that you have to keep having sex even if it hurts you. Stu loves you and doesn't want to hurt you. Tell him that penetration hurts for now, it will be better soon, but in the meantime, can you do something different? He'll understand. Also, remember that 5 to 15% of all sex is dissatisfying (one or both partners don't have an orgasm, the man loses his erection, etc) or dysfunctional in some way. It's not exactly the easiest thing to get right!

But yeah, my advice is to take a break.

Hope that helps.

xo Ari

omg thank you so much!

what you describe actually fits me very well. we have sex almost everyday, so i can see how i need time to heal. haha and he will definately get it :)

thank you thank you thank you!!!

Google Vulvar vestibulitis syndrome/Vulvodynia and see what you think.

Original Post by celesteleary:

omg thank you so much!

what you describe actually fits me very well. we have sex almost everyday, so i can see how i need time to heal. haha and he will definately get it :)

thank you thank you thank you!!!

No worries! Lol, yeah, if you're having sex everyday (I've been there, XD) you DEF need a break. It should be a LOT better in about a week. Fortunately, this gives you a great excuse to, uh, well, test him in OTHER skills. ^_^

i googled Vulvar vestibulitis syndrome and Vulvodynia and i definately don't have those thank goodness!

Probably best not to hit "images" though.