Help required for dating beginner!

Ok this may seem quite a dumb question but I'm very shy and this is a pretty big deal for me!!

So, I met this guy through someone I know (not really friends with this person just worked with them on something) and I really like him.  We've seen each other a few times (just through some work we were both doing) and he's always really nice, seems pleased to see me etc.  The thing is, I don't know if this means anything or it's just that he's such a gentleman (seriously - so polite and one of the kindest people I've ever met).  

Anyway, the work we have been doing is finished now but there's an event I'm involved with next week that he MIGHT be at.  I'm thinking this could be the last time I see him (if he's even there), unless I just randomly bump into him.  I want him to know that I'm interested in him (but don't want to go too over the top coz I don't even know if he has a girlfriend.. although I've never seen him with anyone or heard him speak of one)

It would be great if anyone could give me advice on what to do.  I was thinking of texting him (as a group text) and just inviting/reminding him of the event.. I know this sounds like nothing but he's not the texting type (neither am I) so I'm hoping this might make him realise that I actually want him to be there.

Gaahhhh.. anyway ANY advice would be much appreciated! I'm such a beginner when it comes to anything like this.  

Thanks =)

I'm the straight forward type, I'd just say I'd like to see him again outside of work. By his reaction you can pretty much tell if he's interested.

"Faint heart never won fair lady" or man, come to that.  I agree with the above that it's always better to be direct, even if the answer that comes back isn't the one you'd like.   People aren't psyshic.   A direct text to him saying... "I hope you'll be at the event.  Fancy getting a coffee afterwards?"... or something similar is better than beating around the bush or relying on him interpreting a group text correctly.

I agree with amayou - just go ahead and ask him out.  If he is attached he'll tell you - no harm done. 

Think of it this way...if you don't ask him will you be upset with yourself later?

Original Post by gi-jane:

"Faint heart never won fair lady" or man, come to that.  I agree with the above that it's always better to be direct, even if the answer that comes back isn't the one you'd like.   People aren't psyshic.   A direct text to him saying... "I hope you'll be at the event.  Fancy getting a coffee afterwards?"... or something similar is better than beating around the bush or relying on him interpreting a group text correctly.

 while i agree that being direct is the way to go, i don't think asking if he'd be there and wants to go out after is the best idea in case he is going, but does have a girlfriend or something. then it could be awkward when you see him.

i don't think there's anything wrong with sending a group text about the event, and then if he does go, ask him if he'd like to grab a drink or dinner sometime.

it's as simple as saying something like "hey, i'm not sure if you're seeing anyone or anything, but i was wondering if you'd like to grab a drink or something sometime?"

 if he's as nice as you say, then even if the worst happens and he turns you down, he'll be a gentleman about it. so really the worst possible outcome you're risking is a slightly awkward moment and some disappointment, but i think risking that is MUCH better than not knowing what could have happened!

and if it turns out he isn't going to the event, you still have his number, you could always ask him on your own that way too.  

Original Post by jules817:

...while i agree that being direct is the way to go, i don't think asking if he'd be there and wants to go out after is the best idea in case he is going, but does have a girlfriend or something. then it could be awkward when you see him.

good point Jules - that would be awkward

i don't think there's anything wrong with sending a group text about the event, and then if he does go, ask him if he'd like to grab a drink or dinner sometime.

I think this is a  good way to handle it.

Good luck eskimo82!

Oh! I have an idea! Why don't you text him like you originally planned and then when he text you back be like "I really hope you can make it! :)" or "I hope to see you there! :)". The smiley face should let him know that you really want him to go.

The sooner you act the better.  Otherwise you run the risk of building thinks up in your head so far that if he's not interested you'll feel crushed.  You've got his number so you have a way to contact him even if he doesn't come to this event so whether or not he comes you still have the opportunity to get in touch with him.

I don't see anything wrong with the group text as a reminder to all involved.  If he comes then I would recommend you you tell him to his face that you would like to see him again.  Something along the lines of, "I've enjoyed working with you on these events. I hope we will see each other again, we could have coffee (or drinks) sometime."  He will let you know where he stands.

Plan B if he doesn't come would be to call him and tell him you missed him at the event and would like to get together sometime.  Again hell let you know where he stands.

And since you don't know his status, don't be to disappointing if he is already involved with someone.  And you never know until you go out with someone whether or not you will really click so again don't build things up to much in your head before hand and if you do go out with him be yourself.

Wow thanks everyone for the replies!  I think I'll go with the text and then ask him while I'm there...If I can build up enough courage! Thanks again, good to get other peoples opinions to make sure I'm not gonna be going about it completely the wrong way lol