Help me! I am trying to get my b'f to lose weight!

Ok my b'f eats alot. Now I cant figure out something that will fill him up. He has no control. Right now I pack his lunch w. 2 pb and j's and 3 pinapple cups. For breakfast his coworker brings in a pb and j on a plain bagel. He will sometimes get extra lunch b.c he can be filled up. He figures that if he doesnt eat than he will lose weight. He doesnt get that he needs to eat healthy. I dont know what to do. We do plan to start bike riding on the weekends. Help me please!

First things first.  Does he want to lose weight?

you could give him an ultimatum: lose weight or i'm gone.  but then you might end up on dr. phil getting your ass kicked.

medvedistsa is right.  you can't do it for him.

Hi Gem86~ i understand what you are going thru.  My husband was diagnosed with high blood pressure and "I" decided "we" needed to redo his diet.  Now i am 46 and my husband is 50, we are obviousely older than you guys, but i too pack his lunch every day, not only do i pack him lunch, but i pack him a breakfast and at least 3 pieces of fruit.  i do my best to pack him a balanced day of eatng and i hope that he goes to the gym daily, but i can't make him go if he doesn't want to.  He has to want to get healthier the only thing i can do for him is encourage him but not nag him for us women, that is somewhat difficult.  Stick with packing him good breakfasts, lunch, fruits and veggie snacks.  We can only do our part, but medveditsa is right.... DOES HE WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT?

OH!  Does this sound familiar.  My wife, 40, marathoner and basically, magazine fit - don't you hate people like that  was after me for 5 YEARS to do something...I am 50, was 183 (all belly and butt - not a pretty sight) and I did NO exercise and ate anything/everything I wanted.  The more she would say something, the more I would dig in and ignore all her pleas and attempts to get me to do ANYTHING. 

As I approached 50, I realized that at 5'5" and too darned close to 200 pounds to feel anything but scared, I realized I wouldn't make my daughter's wedding if I kept this up as I was gaining over the years, fairly steadily (not wicked fast, but steady enough you wake up one day and say, CRAP, what happened).  When my 9-year old daughter gave me a hug and said, "Daddy, I can't touch my fingers," you need to stop eating so much because I want you live a long time," it just hit me.  That was my wake-up call...then my brother went in for an emergency stint (18 months older than me) and realizing my Dad had a heart attack in his 50's, I DECIDED (I don't need ongoing motivation or anything like that...I HAD to decide)...I dropped to 153 in 5 months and am currently in a plateau on my way down to 135 (what I figure will get me to that 32" waist I should be at).

Sorry for the long story, but he may be one, like me, that cannot be convinced...he has to DECIDE.  I love the idea above about making his lunch for him - as long as you use wise choices on real food and don't throw in "diet" food, he'll never know what good stuff is going in him!!!

I feel for your sitation as I now realize how worried I have made my wife for so long and know you are wanting the best for him...but HE needs to decide that.  The good news is that I had a vascular and heart scan and all 4 tests were completely free of any build-up (so I'll fall down the stairs going to the gym and die that way  LOL.  My heart rate is down and my blood pressure is dramatically down and consistently normal...obviously, the sooner the better, but try to make changes he won't notice until he decides to do something.  Good luck!

i believe he is for it because he keeps asking me if I logged what he ate into the computer. He keeps complaining that hes always hungry. Like yesterday we ate panera for lunch and he had a whole roast beef sandwich and half on my chicken noodle soup and the lil bag of chips. so right there that was 1030 cals about. for dinner we had london broil and it was cut in 1 inch strips and he had probably about 6 of those.(meat portion is about the size of your palm right?) he also had 10 medium shrimp, corn on the cob and a huge pile of spicy chicken rice. So by 8:00 came around he was starving again. I think if I made breakfast he wouldnt b so hungry and wouldnt over eat. We went to the movies and he had a box of snow caps and mayb a 1/4 of sunflower seeds. then on our way home he got a 24 oz ice tea from Dunkin. I mean the tea isnt so bad since he just gets sugar in it but its not good right before bed.

I say put alot of whole grains and high fibre foods in his diet, so he is not that hungry.  Thats what I did. Lots of bran flakes, whole grain bread (not whole wheat, but the whole grain breads, they have way more fibre and are alot more filling) for the PB& J (I'd say no jelly, just PB, maybe with bananas instead if he likes, try crunchy PB instead too, for a more filling sandwich) sandwiches, eat lotssss of fruits that contain high fibres.  That would keep him fuller during the days. Also, from the foods you mention he ate recently, could mean he's not just hungry but really thirsty.  Its really easy to confuse thirst with hunger.  Tell him to drink lots of water.. Pack a bottle water with his lunch too.

true, I know tea has water in it but its also a diuretic(?). They did just put a fridge in at his job so he has a huge pack of water there. Im going to change from wheat to the 12 grain breads. hopefully that will work. Im going to start giving him roast beef sandwhiches too because i know protein does make one feel fuller. I ate a turkey sandwhich last week and i was actually full and wasnt really interested in my afternoon snack.

Whats a good granola bar? He likes the Nature Valley Almond Crunch. but like any granola bar its 200 cal per bar.

Yeah i dont know about granola bars, I used to eat nature valley apple before, but there is alot of stuff in it that I dont think would really help with weight loss.  I used to eat one almost everyday for breakfast to work, since I thought it would a quick and easy way to eat breakfast in the morning especially when I am rushing.. I wouldnt recommend that personally though.  Something that is better/healthier for your and his body would be better.. is the granola bar for breakfast or a snack?  For breakfast, I would usually pack bran flakes in a tupperware the night before and then add the milk at work (we have milk here at work which i sneak a little for my breakfast and eat it at work) otherwise he could put it in the morning and take it to go if he lives close enough to work.. or just eat it quick in the morning at home..  otherwise i would make a 12 grain bread sandwich with PB or just plain.. with a fruit or yogurt cup.. activia yogurt also keeps you full long.. as a snack pack some fruits or veg's instead or again a cup of yogurt..

roast beef and turkey for sandwiches are good.. load up the meat for him so he stays full. Also add alot of healthy snacks like pita w/ hummus or fruits/vegs..

If he really likes the nature valley bars, then stick with those, I dont know any other bars that are healthier.. I dont know what they are called, but there are these bars you can buy, which are solely made from nuts and seeds.. You wont find it in the huge grocery stores, but maybe in the international foods groceries you could find them there.. my mom buys these bars for my dad (i dont know where  she gets them from, i think its from an indian grocery store?) and they are made from nuts, seeds, and dried fruit (mangos, pineapple, apriocot etc.).. those seem like a good choice that would keep you full.. without any additives/perservatives..

You ever heard that you can bring a horse to water but you can't make it drink?

Fitness is a personal decision....you'll just end up frustrated in the end...or he'll blame you in some convoluted way for his eating problem....Can I get a witness?

I wish I could make my boy gain a few. He is taller, yet weighs less.

And I aint big. I am 5'5 120-125

If he wants to lose weight, but is complaining about hunger, it's probably because there don't seem to be that many veggies in his diet.  If he had the recommended 10 servings of fruits and veggies a day (7 veggies, 3 fruits), then he'd have a lot more food in his stomach for a lot fewer calories than granola bars and stuff like that.

I hope you get him to lose weight and when he does, he finds someone that doesn't nag.

Ok for the rude people. they need to go away and not comment. I was looking for positive feed back.

 

Yea I think I am going to have to sneek veggie in for his snacks. He eats the granola bars for his snack and he does eat yogurt. I'll get him to eat the activia. Right now he eats the breyers yo crunch yogurts. I did buy his roast beef and 12 grain bread for his lunch. At first I was packing him wheat thins which he wasnt finishing the baggy so I think that was working. Ill make sure I buy the muligrain. Maybe I can get him to eat peanut butter and apples for his snack or celery and pb.

Just for the record Im not much of veggie eater my self which I think is sucks b.c I would b skinny if I was able to eat them. I can only eat green beans and corn and on occasion cooked carrots. Do get me wrong Im not stubborn its just that gag reflex as soon as I take a bite of a pepper or something it will not go down. Maybe I can get him to eat cucumbers their not bad either

If we do go out He does eat salads and he dips his lettus rather pouring it on. hmm iuno I need to revamp his menu. 

Wow.... He must love you to be put under this pressure....

If I was him I would be eating rubbish when you're not around and then asking you why the weight was not coming off all looking all innocent.

I though dictatorships had ended???

I said I wanted positive feed back not ignorant jerks to give their 2 cents because they have miserable lives. All I was looking for was a few ideas for my b'f's lunch that can fill him up and not make him over eat. I dont understand y people are going to be negative on this site its just stupid. Its ment for people to get motivation and find a positive place that can help aid in weight loss not  be put down by ignorant jerks that have nothing better to do

 

Gem88>> Thought I would quote some of your words from posts above. Miserable life? If you think so, but you are basing this on me feeling pain for your poor boyfriend. I am basing my thought of you being a control freak on the following ...

I am trying to get my b'f to lose weight!

Im going to change from wheat to the 12 grain breads.

I was looking for positive feed back.

I am going to have to sneek veggie in for his snacks

I'll get him to eat the activia

I can get him to eat peanut butter and apples for his snack or celery and pb.

You're telling me this is how people want to be? Dictated to? If he is that bothers your BF would be on here finding out for himself...

Still laughing at your over sensitive replies :)

This may be of interest. An identical situation in that Iwant a loved one to be lower in weight and healthy, but given full support to aid.

Not changing anything drastic, but might assist on an approach to the BF

http://www.calorie-count.com/forums/post/9507 4.html

roj47: kudos to the dedication you've shown in helping your mum in her weight loss. I think I can see where you are coming from in your criticisms, but I would also like to point out that it is not our position to judge the nature of the concern which gem86 has towards her bf. She does, certainly, sound sincere about helping. And if you are of the opinion that she could be dogmatic in her attempt to help her boyfriend, I'm sure that you can find a more tactful way to put it across.

gem86: perhaps you could read up on healthy eating together with your boyfriend, and pick on a diet and exercise plan that you can help him keep to. (: If he learns more about the benefits of healthy eating, and understands that it's possible to lose weight and get fitter without having to starve himself (by making changes in his diet such as cutting down sugar drinks etc.), he'll probably be able to stick to his diet plans with greater conviction! All the best!

DoeDoeBird>>

I'm sure that you can find a more tactful way to put it across.

Agree completely, but if I was more tactful I wouldn't be me.... Sledgehammer to a walnut here :)   Why beat about the bush for weeks when it can be in the open in seconds to be sorted :)

In fact.... If I was more tactful people would be questioning what happened to me. Laughs...

DoeDoeBird - The voice of reason..... Kind regards :)

doedoebird: Thank you your comment. I am going to find some articles that me and my bf can read. I mean I have a 4/5 month start on him and I've done alot of reading myself. He picked out mountain biking for the excersise that he wants us to do. I am all for it b.c I loved biking when I was younger and I figure this is something that wont bore him like running would. The one worry I have in the back of my mind is him developing diabetes like his dad did and he is at that age that his dad was when he got it. And he doesnt have health insurance right now so we have to take further steps of precaution.