Helping Becky J.

Need your opinion.

Have a granddaughter who is 8 years old.  She is 4'9" and she is 94+ lbs.  I put the + because she weighed before school was out and she's home all day, eating.

She's into young girls size 16 and has a tummy bulege already.

She's mildly active.

Her mother doesn't want anything said to her about weight.  She fears the danger of getting fixaited on food and developing an eating disorder.  She could be right.

In your opinion, how young is too young to strart talking about weight control?  I'm watching her this summer and have ample opportunities to talk to her about this subject.

Look forward to your opinion and advise.

I'd focus the conversations on food choices, not weight control.

i agree with jewels.  i wouldn't talk about weight at all, but about food and play.  although at 8, she'll probably figure out on her own that it's about her weight, so be open to talking honestly about it if she expresses interest. 

Oh geez. I was like that when I was younger, and I really wish my parents had just provided a little less junk and a little more healthy stuff (or just generally helping me lose a little weight) that way I wouldn't have to deal with being overweight as a teenager.

I would think introducing the food pyramid and,like jewels said, food choices to her wouldn't be a bad thing, and maybe providing more opportunities to go outside and play. (In example: walking/bike riding with her to the park.)

Don't mention weight at all.  Trust me, that leads to really bad self-image. (My dad used to tease me about my weight when I was a younger kiddo, and it really hurt.) If she thinks that this is about her weight, tell her it's not, but her eating choices. Like "Honey, I've noticed that you've been making a lot of bad food choices, and I think it'd be better if you chose to eat ____ rather then ____." and then you can go back to mentioning the food pyramid if necessary.

 

[editted for extra suggestion..]

I totally agree with the above posters.  Stress fitness; not food and weight-  and change what is being brought into the house.  Seltzer instead of soda, whole wheat crackers instead of potato chips etc.

I know they are expensive; and I'm not sure if your grandaughter is into video games; but how about getting her a Wii?  The kickboxing game that I believe comes with it is so much fun and you really work up a sweat?  The goal is to get her active-  however you can! 

And, if her parents start biking, running, excersiing; she may want to do it too.  I remember my dad coming home from work when I was 10; and I would hold his feet when he did his situps; and then he would hold mine while I did them :)  -  i would always run upstairs when he was ready for me!!!

I agree, provide healthy food, do not mention that she has to lose weight.  It is the most impact when it comes from parents / family.

If your child was running into the street because you had failed to teach them about getting hit by a car and looking both ways...whose fault is it?  If you teach them about cars and streets...will that child grow up and have issues about crossing the street or cars??? Why is the safety of health not just as important?

There is no better time than the present to start saving the life of a child.  Talk to them about junk food and good food.  Tell them you won't serve them junk food or stop at McDonalds anymore and tell them why...i.e. what the food is doing to them.  Children want to learn and adapt very easily.  If you do it with love and explain everything in science they get it.  (My Son is five and asks me all the time...can you buy me some candy...no right?...cause its junk..)  We laugh together and than wait for special times to spoil with junk food.  (I do not want him to grow up with food restriction issues...I had a very strict Mother and whenever I got a chance I snuck bad food) I told him he could have the fourth of july weekend (we were vac.) to enjoy smores and candy, ice cream but once we got back home...back on the health wagon.  I love to hear him say that he wants wild rice and chicken for lunch... when all I used to hear him say was Mac and Cheese. (I used to be a fatty and I loved to eat a box of this per meal)  I had trained him to like the crap food and it was my fault...I purchased the groceries...I took him to McDonalds...I failed to tell him what was good and what was not...

Pick an activity they love to do and then do it with them at least and hour a day. (Swimming is a great one during the warm months) I have lost 60 pounds and I am nearing my 10% bodyfat mark.  My son has lost five pounds and looks great and is stronger and faster then most kids his age.  (I got healthy just in time to stop his descent into obesity...he was just about 7-8 pounds overweight....I don't monitor his calorie count and feed him whenever he is hungry...he just gets lots of fruits, veg. and other natural foods.)

ED is just not for the skinny girls.  I would say being obese is an eating disorder too and you grandaughter is already suffering from the decisions of the adults in her life.  You could talk to her until you are blue in the face but the only way to really change is to remove all the junk food from her house.  That would be her Mother and Father's responsibility.  (Just a wild guess, but her parents probably have a weight problem as well)  Your best bet right now is to work on your daughter to convince her...

Is she going to spend every waking minute with you during the summer?  If so, then remove the garbage from your house and just practice what you want to preach.  Kids will eat whatever foods are readily available most of the time.  Exercise usually comes naturally when there aren't a lot of other options like zoning out in front of the TV.  Definitely restrict computer and TV time if it's at your house.  If you're going over to her house, then plan on a range of activities that she has to do with you.  Kite flying is a great excuse to go to the park and run around and best of all, you can let her do most of the work.  Not your thing, how about a frisbee?  A volleyball?  Find a local tennis court and work on that.  A dance class for jumping up and down and all around.

Depending on the kid, different results will ensue from telling her that she has a belly and is overweight, some won't care, some will obsess, some will be completely crushed.  Asking her to help you prepare healthy meals based on the food pyramid is a great way to spend time together and give her the essential information that she needs.  At least giving her the options of what to choose from each area or telling her what you have planned and asking her opinion on what is missing.  You don't have to give her a complex to do this.  She may think that grandma is a bit nutty, but that's far better than you telling her that she needs to lose weight.

Even better, collaborate with mom and see what you can come up with.  She can certainly help you plan menus throughout the summer.  So let her pick corn dogs and then decide what needs to go with the corndogs to make the reasonably healthy.  You've already got protein and a starch so lots of veggies would be in order.  You do the serving on the protein and starch and then let her get as many veggies as she wants.

i don't think that talking about her weight is in itself a bad thing.  i mean, she knows she's chubby.  she's eight.  as long as it's done kindly, and as long as it's related to her health rather than to her value as a person, i think it's okay.  after all, belly fat is a major risk factor.  i think it would be irresponsible to pretend that's not part of the picture.  otherwise, it's the elephant in the room.  you know?

At that age, a lot of kids are focused on being healthy and making healthy choices...think of the anti drug programs at school.  I know a lot of kids in that age range are so anti smoking because it's bad for you.  So yes, focusing on her weight will probably not get anywhere.  If she cared enough, she'll bring it up.  Instead, focus on the choices.  I think I'd probably start giving her options of a small amount of whatever is unhealthy with healthy things to go with it (sliver of cake and a bunch of berries) so that she gets a limited amount of the not so good things.  Or even giving her plating options.  A tiny piece of cake or a whole bowl of berries with a little whip cream on top.  I'm also all about finding alternatives to the unhealthy things.  So, 100 cal packs, mixing out ingredients in things, there's a ton of ways to do it.

I have to strongly dissagree with pgeorgian, I do NOT think you should talk to her about weight. I do agree that providing healthy eating options & limiting TV/computer time is the way to go. You can do that at your house and take her for regular walks or bike rides. Go to a local beach or pool. Show her how to stay active. The one that should be talked to is her mom...she has control over what is in & happens their house.