HELPPPP!!!! scared of calories!!!!

I am 22 years old and recovering from anorexia. I need to gain 15 to 20 lbs. I am currently eating 800-1200 calories every day and usually once a week i go out with friends and if i am lucky eat up to 2000 calories. My weight has been stable for the past 5-6 months. I really want to gain the weight and be able to eat anything i want. I have cravings for different food like chocolate cakes, burgers, pancakes etc and even though i know that i am allowed to eat it i cant because all i can think about are the calories they contain!!!!! how can i make myself stop thinking about calories???? i want to be able to enjoy eating again and enjoy this process of gaining weight! all my friends keep saying that they are jealous because i am allowed to eat whatever i want but i dont feel this way. I am scared that if i stop counting calories and eat whatever i want once i have reached my ideal weight i wont be able to control myself and keep on gaining weight.  i have visited a nutritionist and gave me a diet but i hate having to follow it because i am usually not in the mood for the specific food and would prefer to eat something else. has anyone else been in this situation??

I know exactly where youre coming from girl. I just turned seventeen, and have in the past few months, come milestones to a point where i have a healthy relationship/ thinking with food. Here is my advice.

From my experience, its not and probably never will be possible for me to never think about calories.  BUT i think if them in a POSITIVE WAY!! That is one of the hardest things to change about yourself... you need practice on this one though. 

Your body needs food to live you know this. Just think of your poor heart helplessly beating away slower and slower as it basically is telling you "please, please make me stronger, feed me calories so i can keep you alive!" (hah i know, but this is one of the symptoms ive had to live with..) if you think of some little thoughts like that, you may begin to listen to your body and feel bad for treating it the way you have been.

Think of calories as a way you can nurture yourself, instead of just thinking "WEIGHT GAIN STEER CLEAR!"  Calories are NOT HAZARDOUS! You NEED them to repair cells, keep bones healthy, your heart beating normally, etc... your body WILL thank you if you begin feeding it the proper amount, i can tell you. I feel strong, basically like ive got something more, something new, i cant explain the feeling to you until you experience the feeling of health again.You want that, dont you?! then you MUST think of calories as a way of rejuvenating your body! because that IS what they are in our cases!

As for the fact that youre not going to control yourself around food after gaining weight...i can tell you that for me, now that my weight is up, all i can say is that No, YOU WILL be able to control your eating habits! LEARN HOW TO TRUST YOURSELF. You will then learn what your body needs to maintain on by lowering your weight gain calories by 100-or so each week until your weight stabilizes.

Follow your diet, please, and believe me your body will thank you.

Now im off to get a piece of cake i made earlier... because i need it to keep strong and replenish the calories ill be burning later today riding my horse.

God bless

Thank you sooooo much for your replyy!!!! the things you said are really helpful! I will do my best and try to think of calories the way you said!! thank you so muchhhh!!!!!!

No prob :-)

It takes alot of strength but youre going to do it!

Take care!!!!

Hi there!! Your post really reminds me of myself...I am also 22, and have been struggling for nearly 6 years...i need to gain around 30 lbs, and have attempted to gain in the past..

Now I am trying to gain again, only this time I am doing it comletely on my own. I really believe that unless you are truly the one choosing to gain the weght, nothing will ever happen. So set a goal (mine is to look good for college graduation in May) and keep that in mind every time that nasty ED voice rises from the depths.

I am finding that the more I eat, the less "out of control" I feel, because I come to meals hungry instead of ravenous....it feels really weird, because now I realize that I have spent most of the past few years walking around in a hypoglycemic haze and missing out on life---don't do it anymore! Seize life for yourself, and divorce the ED! I wish you all the best!

Hi there!! Your post really reminds me of myself...I am also 22, and have been struggling for nearly 6 years...i need to gain around 30 lbs, and have attempted to gain in the past..

Now I am trying to gain again, only this time I am doing it comletely on my own. I really believe that unless you are truly the one choosing to gain the weght, nothing will ever happen. So set a goal (mine is to look good for college graduation in May) and keep that in mind every time that nasty ED voice rises from the depths.

I am finding that the more I eat, the less "out of control" I feel, because I come to meals hungry instead of ravenous....it feels really weird, because now I realize that I have spent most of the past few years walking around in a hypoglycemic haze and missing out on life---don't do it anymore! Seize life for yourself, and divorce the ED! I wish you all the best!

hey!!! thank you very much for your replies! I have just made an appointment with my nutritionist to go over my diet and add things that i like eating and have missed eating. I hope it all goes well!!!