Hi

Hi,

I've been using this site for three weeks now and have lost 6 pounds.  I weighed 197 when I started and just stepped off the scale this morning at 191.  That's pretty damn cool. 

I joined for a few reasons.  First being 5'8" & almost 2 bills put my BMI at around 30.  Being a guy I carry most of it in my beer belly.  So I knew something had to give.  Additionally, my wife has just given up on losing weight.  We've tried gyms, trainers, WW and even drugs but never much focus on the caloric intake or portion sizes.  I want to be a good example to her so I figured might as well give this a whirl.  Just maybe I could have some success and encourage her along the way.  She's just so discouraged it breaks my heart.  She makes fun of her weight sometimes, calling herself names but I can tell she's profoundly effected by it.  It's a major hit to her self esteem on a daily basis.

Again being a typical guy, I like to try and fix things.  I've started out this experiment with only a few parameters to work within.  Basically try to make this as inviting as possible no gym, no intense exercise, just using the tools on this site, ruthlessly & religiously logging the foods I eat, controlling portion sizes, ardently trying to stay at or below 1700 calories a day and walking 1-3 miles a day. 

Even if she doesn't get inspired.  I still need to make some positive changes in my own life. 

I can't tell her all of this.  But I need to get it off my chest.

I think my wife, Laura, thinks that this is a subversive way of hounding her about her weight.  Well, maybe I am.  She's doesn't realize it but she is MY wife & I hate to see her hurt.  I am here to help, protect, serve & love her unconditionally.  If I saw that she was about to walk off a cliff I would pull down the heavens to prevent it.  Being overweight is just as deadly not to mention the hellish toll it's taken on her self esteem.

Anyway,

Thanks for listening. 

Mike
Austin, TX

How sweet of you to want to support her.  I think you should show her your post -- or at least the last paragraph.   Just remember that men tend to lose the weight a little quicker at first -- and that can be a little demoralizing for women.

Welcome

yes men do lose a lot quicker than woman b/c they naturally have more muscle mass and testosterone- and it cant totally be demoralizing - you should talk to her though - she should understand the above reasons.

This is a really thorny one.   Everyone has to have  their own moment of epiphany when they decide that something, as you say, has to give.  You're there but your wife isn't there yet.  It's very tempting to turn into Billy Graham.... especially when you can see the other person is unhappy and you think you're holding all the answers.  So I'm glad you've resisted that

It's nice to see that you've decided not to go the 'mad diet and punishing exercise' route.... the only thing worse than living with 'Billy Graham' is finding you're sharing a house with 'Marine Drill Sergeant' tucking into beanshoots and demanding you drop and give him twenty push-ups.

Encouragement is good.  You could cook healthy meals for everyone at home... portion-control rather sorts itself out when the food is better.   Inviting her on those walks you're taking would be a nice idea... quality time together and a little exercise into the bargain. 

Gently does it.