Hi

I have Lupus.  I was diagnosed in 1998.

With my Lupus, I have arthritis in my elbows and knees (which are the worse), and I also have arthritis in my left hip, and fingers in my hands...and the slight aches in my wrists.

I am 33 F, married to a Navy man.  I have three children g-12y/o, b-4y/o, and g-3y/o.

Because of the ups and downs of my Lupus, I've been put on high doses of steriods (60mg of Predinsone a day for two years at one point), which made me gain weight like I couldn't beleive.  I gained 25, and since then I've only been able to get off 10 of it....  STILL when the Lupus gets bad, the high steriod bursts I'm put on, add some more pounds that seem to be darn near impossible to lose.  In te Dr.s office when they say it's time for more steriods, I seriously cry, as I try to come to grips with why I need it...to keep me alive.  Huuuhhhhh........pie face has become a large part of my life.

I'm REALLY trying here.......I'm at a point where I realize I'm going to be hating myself.  I'm a strong person, and always take pride for what I do, and am happy with my accomplishments... but this extra wieght on me, the struggle to get it off (because I'm limited in working out because of the arthritis), the "looks" I get when I'm out and about is a look of disgust, not a friendly nod!

I've NEVER "hated" myself.... but I'm nearing there.  Over the past 3 months, I find that I am disgusting myself more amd more than every before......I don't think it'll be long before I end up hating myself or giving up.   :L(

Right there with ya.  I don't know what lupus is exactly, but I know what its like to eat constantly from the prednisone.  And to be ready to give up.  I take 10-30 mgs/day depending on the symptoms of my rhumatiod arthritis(ra).  Even taking small amounts makes me eat like a horse and still doesn't do the trick to reduce the swelling of RA enough to feel normal and get some real exercise.  Anyway what is lupus like if you dont mind me asking, I've never known anyone with that.

A little about me:

By the way, I am 29 year old single guy trying to decide what to do with myself after finding out almost 2 years ago that I have this disease-RA.  Trying to get back to school so I can get a real job and not have to beat on my body to earn a living.  All the meds i've tried so far dont really do squat:  prednisone, motrin, enbrel, humira, arava, methotrexate, and prob. others i cant think of.  Thus I struggle to make it through work most days.  My insurance doesn't really cover orencia, remicade and other stronger medications the dr. wants to do.  They are covered after a $1,250 deductible I'll never be able to meet.