131 i honestly cant do this any more please help

so once again im back after leaving this site and am now 131 pounds i just eighed myself and have eaten 2319 calories and i hate myself. im only fifve feet and im small boned. my family is all very tiny with no female relitive i know  weighing more then 115. my goal is 119. my whole life (well most) was spent at 108 pounds then i went to 120 then i maintained 125 and now 131 i cant be this heavy anymore. my dance trainer wont teach em at this weight. im still pretty young yet older then 18 so dont worry please i cant carry on. how many calories should i eat? how many should i burn? i want to get to 123 by september 2nd. my main problem is food. i dont like to sweat so i mostly walk or do ballet. i have an all or nothing way of deiting which sucks. i either eat too little (well before) or i over eat and dont move enough which caused my weight gain. please i need some advice i am so freaked out

hey girl, take a breather, i know this is hard.

I know all about this all or nothing deal! I can't seem to find balance, but the strategy that works for me is this:

• Plan out your meals in the morning (use the calculator on this site to find out how many cals you need daily)
• Eat every 3-3.5 hours, don't think like "this is breakfast...now lunch...now dinner." Be a [healthy] grazer
• Try and have some protein with all meals, becuase it keeps you really satisfied
• Drink a lot of liquids
• If you're still hungry late at night, or after a meal, fill up on fruits or veggies.
• Do not weight yourself daily. As women, our weight fluctuates way too much to be weighing ourselves nonstop
• Get some exercise daily, wether it be cleaning the house, dancing, walking, yoga, or jogging

I really hope this works for you. Please be patient, nothing this hard happens over night!

thanks ilovechai

I would have to agree with ilovechai.  Now if there is one thing I've learned here is that there are alot of people here with some really good advice.  What you need to do is be willing to do a little trial and error.  what works for one person may not work for another. 

For example: I do better eating 4 or 5 small meals throughout the day.  Others can't do that and they seem to do better keeping it to just 3 larger meals.  Try some different things and see what works for you.

I also do better planning my meals and logging them the night before hand.  This way, I know what I will be eating all day and I can be prepared for that.  This might or might not work for you, but it might be worth a try.

I also found that if I worked out too much (more than 3 times a week), I'd do great for a while and then get burned out and not exercise for months afterwards.  Try different exercises.  try doing more or less and really pay attention to what's going on with your body and your mind.  The journals on this site are great for that.  It helps you figure out what the best routine is for you.

Good luck. 

I understand what you are going through more then you know. I am also extremely short and I hate to exercise!!! What has helped me (just starting again) is to have someone depend on me to meet them somewhere for a walk. I get so bored when I go by myself. This has helped a little bit. I also just discovered swimming again. I swam for 30 minutes and can really tell that I got an all-over work out. It feels great. From someone who can not stand to exercise this says a lot. I have also written down everything that I eat. This way I can see where I need to improve on. I try to eat all day long so that I never get to that "famished" point. Good luck and hang in there!

You can do it. It take hard work and consistent healthy eating, but you can do it!

Since you said you can be an "all or nothing" dieter, just want to caution you to count your calories so that you make sure you are eating enough calories. If you don't eat enough calories, it can actually make your metabolism slow down and make it harder to lose those few stubborn pounds.

Hang in there!

thanks for all the modivation guys

i will try to let go of my all or nothing approach and will try eating throughout the day

Dude, I totally hear you.  I share the "all or nothing" personality trait, as well.  I know ALL about the hating on yourself after you binge, and you know you're going to hate on yourself, but you do it anyway.  I honestly think, before anything else, you've got to relax.  You've got to take a breather.  It sounds like you have pressures coming from all angles, your family, your dance teacher, and of course yourself.  You need to focus on the pressure that comes from you, because ultimately that's what matters.  The pressure you put on yourself, the hatred, self doubt, all those attributes contribute to allowing yourself to a. feel pressure from outside forces and b. not believe in yourself and not accept the slow paced lifestyle change you're working for.

People say it all the time, and they are right..there is no "breaking a diet" - there's getting distracted.  So you over ate, do not think about that, you've got to learn the concept of forward thinking.  You need to understand that this is a process.  I totally know where you're heads at, probably wish you can chop off all that extra flab - you feel trapped.  but you've gotta slow down, take deep breaths, and start getting in touch with the person you know you are inside.  find a peaceful place, maybe it's with dance, reading - for me it's music and the movies.  you've got to be okay with failure.  I used to binge, then get so frustrated that I kept eating for days.  now i understand if i binge, i binge, and i move forward.  That attitude has helped me.  I don't focus on the fact taht I have binged, but I focus on my "recovery" period.  used to be like days - now it's the next day, I'm okay.  You've got to love yourself..every part of yourself - even the part that gets frustrated and slips up during your lifestyle change.

That's the only way you could ever do this.  Yeah, you can plan out meals, eat low cal, whatever they say to do - but it all comes down to if you like the inside you.  Maybe try some yoga, write, you've go to have that peaceful escape that brings you to you.

this is just how i feel - you can take it if you want..but know, you're already doing something great by joining this site, and reaching out for support.  You should be proud of yourself.

-S

I do a small breakfast - usally coffee and a protien bar, a big lunch, a moderate dinner, with room for a snack or two if I feel like it.

Breakfast - 2 cups of Coffee and a clif bodybuilder bar.

Lunch - Turkey on whole grain with a slice of swiss, salad, yogurt, and maybe a cookie

Dinner - fish or chicken, veggies, fruit

Snack - yogurt and fruit or veggie

thanks s and morrighu

i understand that i need to do it within before the weight will drop

Lolla,

I can not tell you how much I understand what you are going through. I am 5'0 126 lbs. In the last year I have gained 8 lbs! UGH! I find myself doing the same thing that you are doing. Either I eat tons and tons or I don't eat anything at all and then I starve. I just wanted you to know that you aren't alone and that I understand. Hang in there and don't beat yourself up if you have a bad day. Just start over the next day and think of it as a new beginning. Good luck and keep my posted on how you are doing. Let me know what works for you, I could use the advice!