Honestly I am sick of dieting.

I just want to live my life. But I cant do that the way I want to in this body.

I have been dieting since I was about 14, on and off for 10 years. Where did it get me? Well here I am bigger than I have ever been at 315 lbs. I will do really well at one thing or another for about a year, then just get tired of having to worry about everything and 6 months later I am heavier than I started. I am sure so many of you can relate.

So what am I gonna do? Give up? No way never. I just need to change my thinking. It's not a diet, it's a lifestyle. I know this, I learned this years ago but I never believed it.

So here I am starting at phase one with an extra 50 lbs to lose than before. I just have to take it one step at a time.

...thanks for listening to my rant :)

Oh, flirtin mom,

I sure would like a roast beef sandwich on white bread with a big glass of milk!

I totally understand how you feel, MissDana - I've been dieting since I was in high school and somehow ended up with an extra 50 pounds on top of my already heavy 200.  I'm actually sticking with it this time though, and hopefully it'll be easier - I've moved up north, so I have to have a more active life (getting firewood prepped for a wood-stove is a lot of work!), and I'm not living with my parents anymore, so that'll be a big source of stress out of my life (I do love them, and they're good people - but man, the money I'm going to be spending on therapy years down the road.)

The worst is that I feel so much guilt for letting myself get this heavy - I completely berate myself when I have a "fat" moment - like catching an unflattering angle in a photo or a mirror of myself, or going over calories.  I'm going to have to stop that - it's probably my biggest problem. 

I don't know how quickly this is going to go - my mini-goal is to be down to 230 by New Year's Eve - that's a 13 pound drop from right now. 

Crossing my fingers!