I have no hope, because it's genetics?

Everytime one of my family members find out im on a diet and trying to lose weight, i get the same reaction. What's that you ask? " THEY LAUGH". They tell me its in mygenetics that im chubby. They tell me i can't lose weight because my mom was chubby. They tell me its not possible to change anything because this is the way it's meant to be.

I don't want to accept that. Yes my mother was overweight and she's no more. and Yes her family is overweight but my dad isn't. neither is his family overweight. So why all the harshnes?

Does genetics have anything to do with it? Can I ever lose weight? Ive been trying for a month on CC. Im 140lb...5'3 and 19 years old. My weight won't budge. I've always had trouble losing weight. I can't seem to lose weight at all. Is this my fate?

Genetics have to do with where you store fat, but not whether you can lose it. Of course you can!

You need to determine how many calories your body needs currently and create a deficit from that, either through eating less, exercise, or ideally, both.

Lift weights if you don't already. The more muscle you have, the more fat you'll burn, and muscle gives your body a nice shape.

Do some sort of cardio activity. The frequency and length is debatable, but it is important for your heart. You will feel better, have more energy, and burn calories.

Many people in my family are overweight as well, but they also over eat and lack exercise. No one can tell you its impossible but you. Now its up to you to make it happen.

i suppose your right. it's just so hard when you keep hearing those comments. i heard it just this morning. i want to prove them all wrong but i can't seem to lose any weight at all. it's so discouraging.

What have you been doing? I know its hard. There are things that work though, I know. Try and take the focus off weight and put it on fitness. Its more important to be losing fat than weight. I haven't lost that much weight-wise, but I have lost inches and I feel better. I think about the clothes I'll buy when I reach my goal. I think about being stronger and fit enough to skate again. Try to make little challenges with yourself. Join a motivational group, they help and the people are very supportive. I know there are people here with the same goals you have, find them and have a contest!

    Exact oppisite(sp?) of my family which cant understand why 1 of us could be a little chubby... it is just unthinkable,  so your family could be like mine and comment and try to get you to lose weight everytime they see you..........
but that is not your problem  yours is so diffrent and intresting.
  I think maybe, if these people are over weight they dont want to see you be sucessful in weight loss because they have convinced themselves to live thier lives over weight and that nothing can be done..its just easy for them to blame their genetics but if you do it...and i think you can, then they will really be forced to look at their lives and stop using excuses. 

It comes out sounding harsh since they are family, but families can sabotage us sometimes, on purpose and with out even being aware of what they are ding.  maybe they really dont know how unhapy you are with your weight. 

what do you think,  could it be true or am i way off?

I submit at 19 years, 5'4", 140 pounds you are at a good weight...I would focus more on fitness, and maintaining your weight for the next 60 or 70 years, instead of worrying about losing...

There is such a thing as being genetically predisposed to heaviness, as much as there is to being thin. You can overcome your genetics and lose weight, we all can....Not so for some thin people.

But I say again, you are close to ideal now...why not focus on becoming healthy, active and fit for the rest of your life?

        wow i read over my post sorry about the spelling i am either way lazy or my computer keys are sticking again,  i want to blame the computer!
sorry hope you manage to read it

I think your abso right. They have accepted being overweight. I can't accetpt it as being fate.  I get angry when i hear these comments " why are you trying, its in your genes?" Who says? I could have put on weight because of the way they feed me.

I find its usualy the older relative that are very dscouraging, they accept who they are, they don't want to make changes, and they want to lead a unhealthy life. They don't knoq what their comments do to us. They think they're helping. But infact, there doing the oppsoite.

Im not up for that, i want to lose weight, prove them all wrong. I know i can do it...it's al about willpower right?

Perhaps they're defensive because you're "fixing" something perceived to be a problem - and some of them have that same problem but are not.  Maybe they feel judged by you?  Bobo makes the point well. 

Instead of focusing conversations with them on "being on a diet" and "trying to lose weight" try less emotionally charged words like adopting a healthier lifestyle, trying to eating healthy, or getting fit.  These statements lend more towards a lifetime commitment to your health versus a short-term "fix" to a problem.

I have some of these family members too, I simply tell them that I want to be around to spend my retirement fund.

kathygator  -  Im not at an good weight because im only 5'2-5'3ish. so 140lbs makes me look heavy and my BMI labels me as being slightly overweight, so i figured losing about 20kbs wil be ok for my frame. Im a medium frame.

I agree Sully. Going on a "diet" makes people nervous. Tell people you want to make healthy choices, like good food and exercise. 

    they are family your eating alot of what they are eating.  I was eating the same as my skinny family,  just two plates of it,  so when you eat with them just put mostly veggies on your plate as long as they are not cooked in butter and small amount of what the family is eating,  take the breddiong of fried foods,  dont use dalad dressing and start buying your own healthy snacks if you still live with them,  if they continue to be unhelpful or even get hostile just back off from them a bit but keep up with the plan and get fit and eat healthy.  if you do start to loose weight which i hope happens because its what you wish be happy but its maybe not wise to show it off or talk about it all the time,  do that with your friends or us on CC.

Thnks:D Healthy lifestyle does seem better...thnks for all the advice

I agree with the poster who said "19 years, 5'4", 140 pounds you are at a good weight". Your own tastes might make you feel slightly overweight. I'm told "average" charts have changed over time.   If you ARE genetically predisposed to being fat  you WOULD be heavier . A person with true genetic problems is likely to be heavier .(this is a extreme case -Mideast family of many 'cousin" marriages - had a child of 200 lbs (or so) at 4 years of age ( Discover magazine of many years back)) . 

There are "misfits" in every family. A perpetually skinny person in a family that is always on the verge of overweigth, etc. How can you tell you are doomed until you have exhausted every means of weight lost. At 19 You have NOT had the time  to figure out what is a truely "serious" attempt to lose weight that shows you ARE destined to be overweight.   Unless our family consists of numerous specialists working with the overweight- your family is just pure plain ignorant  what a true genetic predisposition is.  So do not bother to believe them until you personally made an intense effort at research (nutrition degree,etc would be the intensity level) or have consulted many specialists.  Everybody does NOT know everything no matter how well meaning. You are no longer the cute credulous 4 year old told about the Tooth Fairy, Santa Clause or the Easter Bunny to make you happy.

While genetics do influence weight (just like they influence almost everything else), they certainly aren't the only thing that does.  People seem to forget that even though there may be a fat gene, it doesn't mean that if you have it, you are doomed to obesity.  It just means you have to work harder to lose weight and keep it off.

And yeah, just because your whole family is overweight doesn't mean it's genetic.  Not only do families share genes, but they also share environment (generally eat the same sorts of things, have the same attitude toward exercise, etc.).

blaming it all on genetics would be an easy, convenient excuse to go through life needlessly gaining weight, but don't fall for it.

accept no excuses.

your diet and exercise choices influence your weight, so don't accept the cop-out that it's all genetics. if your family members believe that, that is their choice.

no matter what anyone says, you know better, you know different, and perhaps you'll just have to prove them wrong, eh?

Both of my parents are overweight, so is my brother, i have ripped abs.

I know where you are coming from with this problem. My dad was very overweight and so were many people in his family. All my life I have struggled to maintain a healthy weight and I always felt like I was eating way less than my friends and was still bigger.

I got frustrated several years ago, stopped trying, and gained a lot of weight. However, I have since lost around 35 lbs. and am still losing. I would say that genetics do play some role and you may have to work harder to lose weight. But it IS possible. So do your very best and you will see results. You may never be as skinny as some people. Everyone's body type is different. But it is possible to come from an overweight family and lose weight. Don't let them discourage you!

I forget who said it (maybe Dr. Phil?), but it's something like "Nobody is overweight if they don't have a lifestyle to support it."

Barring certain medical conditions, I agree.  Genetics are not the only thing that influences your physical condition.  Choices, lifestyle, and determination are much more important factors when it comes to change.

Keep up with your healthy changes, and good luck!

I don't neccissarily belive in the genetics thing.. My entire Mom's side of the family is short and OBESE. Not chubby, ever older member of my family is OBESE.. 300-600lbs. At gatherings they have 3 plates minimum, potatoe salad, creamed peas, gravies, and very large potions of meat, and rich heavy desserts. My dad's side of the family is very slim. All older member are at a very healthy weight, very active, and at their gatherings you would find: many salads, lean meats, roasted potatoes, whole wheat rolls, wine, fruit, and small squares or homeade cakes for dessert. At a movie the other night, my friends got some popcorn, both large and thin friends orderd the same thing, except the heavier one got a diet soda instead. She said to my thin friend "Oh you and your f*ing high metablism!" But the next night we went out to dinner and my thin friend ate a grilled chicken ceasar salad. My large friend got a large plate of cheese toast and a side of fries..

I don't buy it for a minute. I think for the most part we inherit EATING HABITS from our parents, which is the main reason we often see entire families with a weight problem. 99.9 % of the time if you change your eating and activity behaviors then you can lose weight. Sometimes it takes a while to figure out just what needs to change so don't give up.

I know it sounds crazy, but when I started dieting, I measured out portions of everything I ate and write down all of the ingredients for every meal with calorie counts. It helped me realize how much I was really eating and also helped me figure out what foods I needed to cut out of my diet.

Just remember to eat healthy food and don't starve yourself. Eat plenty of veggies. Drink low-fat milk and eat sugar-free, low-carb snacks. No fast food and no chips or other junk. Any try to exercise at least 20 minutes a day! Good luck and keep us posted on your progress! I know you can do it!