Hopefully this LONG story motivates someone!

***Post writing warning, this is HUGE. A nice long read. Enjoy!***

 Hi.

 So I’ve been a long time forum stalker. I’ve been reading what you guys post for about the past year and I wanted to share what I’ve managed to do for myself. I also want to share it somewhere where I know it will be appreciated and where people may find some use from it.

 There’s nothing particularly unique about my story though. Just read on if you want.

 So when I was young I always weighed a lot. I was about 250 lbs in grade 9. I was unhappy with the way I looked and never had much self confidence. I had gfs, I had lots of friends and had times when I felt good about my looks, but mostly I felt a bit sluggish and envious of the fitter guys in my school who it seemed to come easy to. I didn’t like my body but wasn’t really sure of how to change it.

 I tried exercising a couple of times but I found that whenever someone encouraged me to do it (my mom and dad just trying to be helpful) then I would stop. I felt robbed, like it was something I was doing for myself and that their encouragement was taking away from the personal aspect of what I was doing. I tried and stopped about 3 times throughout high school. I also liked to sneak snacks. I'd eat cookies when no one was looking because they were tasty and I enjoyed them, and then I'd feel guilty, which would sometimes be alleviated by eating more cookies. I was jealous that my thin brothers seemed to have it so easy (not much, but it was there). I grew up a bit though and got some muscle along the way but still hovered between 230 and 240 by the end of high school. Also, I feel it’s noteworthy at this point to mention that I’m 5’ 12” tall. (by the end of high school I had gotten over my slight jealousy of my brothers and decided that how I looked had nothing to do with how they looked)

 During first year of university my weight fluctuated as I was walking a lot more and getting some regular exercise, I dropped 20 lbs in the first 4 months only to regain half over the Christmas break and then to gain back the last 10 by the end of the term. At the end of the 2nd term my favourite cousin came to visit me. I had a talk with her about body image and weight loss and she told me something that has stuck with me “If you want to change just do it”. It wasn’t easy, but it is simple. That summer saw a change and I began to work a job where I was very active and over time I dropped from the 240 at the beginning of the summer down to 215 at the end. I felt great. It didn’t last though. By the end of 2nd year I was back up at around 230 or so. There was one change though that seemed to hold and has since. My self esteem was growing thanks to my gf. She complimented me and helped to make me see myself as attractive. Come 3rd year I was happy at my weight of 230/240. I enjoyed how I looked and felt good about myself. I liked what I saw in the mirror. I genuinely liked me. If you haven’t felt that way yet, then don’t despair, it will come. It feels so good though. It is empowering to look in a mirror and be happy with what you see (at least to me, since this is relatively new). Then I went away to work for a year. I decided it was time to finally just do it. I waited a month and joined a gym. I began reading online (thus showing how I became the forum stalker) and I have tried to gather as much information as I could.

 My first change was pop (soda as some of yous amuricans calls it. :D) – I stopped drinking it. I just gave it up cold turkey. I also started going to the gym. I began originally with a buddy of mine, but once one of use changed schedule we began to go together less frequently, which was good in the long run, I learned to not depend on others for motivation, but to take it when it was available. I read about the ideas of calorie counting and increasing vegetable and fruit intake and decided I could do those things. Regardless of the cost of the different foods I was considering because I decided it was worth whatever I had to pay to be happy with myself. Somewhere in this my gf and I broke up. It was a couple of months into the year of work and I also had grand thoughts (although I knew it wasn’t more than a fleeting chance) that I could wow her with a new me and that things could possibly work out alright. I learned more and more about what I could do to change my eating, I began to scrutinize nutrition labels, I did a 2 hour workout 3 times a week and things were getting better. I was healthier, happier and more energetic and vivacious than before.

 The next step for me came when I changed my reasons for change. 6 months into my work my grandfathers health took a turn for the worse and I went back to visit him. He happened to be near where my ex gf lives and I went to see her because we are, still to this day (8 months later), very good friends. I found out she had a new bf (like I had suspected, but never confirmed. A week later my grandpa passed away. I spent the next 2 weeks not going to the gym. I didn’t feel like it. I couldn’t get up the energy to do it. I had lost my sense of purpose. I found out that I had driven myself too much on the idea of impressing the ex. Years after being spurned by my own desire to please only myself through my exercise I found out that I had come no further than I had from high school. So, I had one crazy night where I decided to drink to relieve my thoughts of my grandpa and the ex at the same time, and wound up in the drunk tank. Haha. It is a really funny story now (I passed out in a cab to get there) and I tell it easily, just not today. After that my head was a bit clearer (surprisingly un hung over after that night) and I began to return to my workout schedule and found the motivation to do it for me. I resolved that from then on I would do it because it made me happier, had made me better at sports, made me feel more attractive and confident, and made me enjoy life more. I had received numerous compliments from my friends and comments on how I looked thinner from people I saw every couple of weeks or so. It was really encouraging.

 Then I hit a bit of a hump. At Christmas I just stopped losing weight, even after I made the commitment to giving up all fruit juices, which I have stayed with to this day 6 months later. I stayed at around 215 for what seemed like 2 and a half months. I was disheartened by the lack of progress in numbers, but the change in pants was awesome. My pants were hanging off of me. I like to dance so whenever my friends and I would go out to clubs I would constantly have to pull my pants up, since I could literally have danced them off of me. Hehe. I also had one hell of a time finding pants in my new size where I was, but that’s of no consequence to the story. Finally I noted some change in weight right when I was leaving. I was down at about 210 and it was fantastic! I was so happy. And then when I got home I noticed I lost about 10 lbs in a week. That was weird. I figured out it was just the difference of a bit of weight lost plus clothes I didn’t have to wear at the home scale versus the gym scale. So now I am sitting here, up in Yellowknife in Canada writing to you guys. These are my approximate stats as of now:

 Age: 23

Height: 6’ 0”

Start Weight: 240 lbs

Weight: 195 lbs guess. Unsure. I have lost some inches and grown some muscle, but have not had access to a scale.

Goal Weight: Original was 200 lbs. Now it’s 180 lbs. ^_^

 Here are the things that helped me the most:

 Encouragement from my family and friends.

Exercising regularly, 5 – 6 times a week (weight lifting, playing soccer and volleyball and HIIT)

Giving up soft drinks. Giving up all fruit juices.

Moderating the things I love: cheese, sweets, chocolate

Not giving up the things I love: my lasagna, chocolate, alcohol, wine, beer

Understanding that permanent weight loss comes from life style changes rather than quick short term fixes.

Realizing that my success was dependent on me and my own commitment to it.

Allowing my progress to be slow, gradual, to be enjoyed and to happen naturally.

Not counting every calorie but instead using an overall guideline by just judging how much I’ve had.

Preparing my own lunches ahead of time and eating out less.

Changing my own recipes and reading others to incorporate tasty low cal foods.

Enjoying life, indulging when I want to.

Most importantly – PORTION CONTROL! Yikes, I used to eat so much in one sitting.

Eating 5/6 times per day.

My snack pack meal time (3 stalks of celery, 12 baby carrots, 1/3 of a cucumber and a piece or two of fresh fruit. Every day.)

 I have always shot for the conservative goal of 2500 cals/day (even though an active kid my age should be around 3000 or so). Since I never count accurately I figured this goal allowed me to indulge when I wanted to. I found out that I was a bit under nutritioned though as a couple of times I began to eat more and saw more weight loss. I decided from then on to be a bit more lenient in my eating. My overall diet in the end tends to be a zig zagging style, from the thought I’ve given it. I eat a bit more freely when I work out and some days I just don’t care and eat a bit more because it’s tasty and I want to. ^_^

 Oh it wasn’t easy. I’m also a lot luckier than most people. I am not addicted to things. I can easily make choices and changes cold turkey. I can suddenly decide that I want to give up juice and I can make it work. I never had a second thought about it. I think I’ve had 3 or 4 glasses of orange juice/apple juice in the past 6 months. I just never found my vices that hard to ignore. I also never tried to ignore them completely. There was a group of 35 students where I worked and we did bi weekly pot luck dinners with themes like man food (meat, beef, bacon) and cheese. I had lots to eat and loved it! I’d combat it with some extra cardio, doing a big workout that day.

 Now, throughout my life my uncle (who is currently about 330 lbs I believe) always told me that my family was big boned, and that there was nothing that could be done about it, it was just our genetic build. I believed him. No longer, of course (BULL ****!... lol) but now I believe what my mom always told me about myself (info from a family doctor): “That genetic build crap is bull. You can be whatever size you want to be, you just have to work at it. You control how you look.” It’s become my rally cry. I also read this in a readers digest article a few years back and it made me feel a lot better about myself when I was younger, and even now makes me proud of what I have wrought within myself – “The body you have at age 20 is the body that genetics gave you. The body you have at age 40 and age 60 is the one you’ve earned.”

 So today I am sitting here mourning that I should have pushed harder to go underground on a tour (I am a mining engineering student) I decided I’d write this to you with my wasted time. (I’ll push harder in a bit, I think I’m alright at the moment just writing. J)

 This is already huge, but I have one more thing to say to you all:

Thank you. Thank you so much. Your trials and heart ache have given me hope, given me insight and given me the help I needed. I’ve been reading your posts and your recipes for the last year and it has meant a lot to me. I’ve pointed others this way and told them how I began my change and where it’s come to. I have really enjoyed the hierarchy of fat loss article in particular and have spread the joy of HIIT versus Endurance Cardio to everyone I can – they don’t always listen, believe or care though, but that’s not my problem. Also stumptuous.com is fantastic. Love that site and its info and tips.

 Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU. You guys are awesome. Keep posting your questions and thoughts and I’ll keep reading in my spare time. I probably won’t do much posting, that requires a lot of time and effort and I find I don’t have the will to keep it up. If anyone has any questions I’ll try and respond to them quickly. I, unfortunately, do not have a profile picture up yet but I will put one up when I get home (I’m working at site for 7 days straight. This be day 6, arrrrrr). But rest assured, I look good. Haha! :D

 Dave

That post was so touching!!!!!!!! You seem like a genuinely nice guy!!!!!! I'm happy for you, you have lost 45lbs so far, and you almost have a healthy BMI!!! Your motivation is inspiring, I found it difficult even when I was trying to lose a few pounds a way back to keep going, and even though you had your share of obstacles and falls, you recovered!!!!! Keep up the good work!

That whole thing about in high school when you were trying to loose weight and your parents would encourage you...that was (and I admit still is) a lot like me. I think my favourite thing about this story is that it shows that if you don't give up you can turn out stronger. And I don't think that just applies to weight loss. That's what I got out of it. And that have gone through an amazing journey and I want to say thank you so much for sharing what you've gone through with all of us.

Thank you and congrats!!!  what kind of HIIT worked for you

very interesting read! thank you!

Gurlywurly - thanks for your support!  I'm not too worried about the BMI. Just the wee bit of tummy that's hanging on to me. :)

do-not-fall - I'm glad it meant something to you. I recall getting really mad at my mom and dad for even mentioning that I was exercising. It really pissed me off. I never yelled but I was really harsh with my mom and she was shocked at the reaction. I've apologized for it since, hehe. I'm not sure what made that aspect go away. I think that it is just comfort with myself and deciding that my reasons to change were my own. Once I matured past high school and became more sure of myself it became easier to define my own life and choices. I also felt more responsible for myself. How old are you right now? It may be something that you'll grow out of yet.

relis202 - I've got a mix right now. I've got a knee that is less than perfect and I want to keep it above the pretty crappy level. Since my knee is problematic I would do HIIT on ellipticals (I found that I like the Life Fitness brand the best. Most nature seeming movement). First I'd warm up for about 5 minutes or so. Building up from level 7 or 8 (of 20) up to around 12/13 by the end of that period. I'd run at 13 for 1 min on as hard as I could possibly go without breaking the machine (around 17-18mph after a long time) and then rest for 2 and slow down to about 5 mph. I would do that 5 times. Then break for 5 mins and then run backwards for 5 at a tough pace. Then I'd cooldown for 5 or 10. That burned me around 500-600 calories in about 35 minutes. ^_^ I enjoyed the workout and didn't push it, but if I had found the same machine elsewhere once I moved I would have worked my way up to 24 minutes of that (8 intervals). Eventually taking it to 10.

I've switched it now cause I'm in a new place and don't have the same cardio machines. This one doesn't allow me to run flat out the same way that the other one did, so I improvised. I can't remember the machines name, but it has 20 levels as well. So, a customary 5 minute warm up, starting at about 5-7 and going up to around 11 or 12. Then I set it up so that I push at level 16 and try to maintain 75 steps/min. I do this for 100 seconds. Then I do a 40 second rest at level 5 at a walking pace. My goal is to maintain the interval speed at 75 steps/min regardless of my energy. I pushed myself (and I felt like what I imagine a heart attack is) for 27 minutes the other day (continuing with the goal of upping my time). It was amazing and I hated it. So good. I find that both methods work well, but I think that the running flat out was a more effective method for me to increase my speed for sports that I enjoy ie soccer.

I'd be happy to tell you more about it. I love it and I hate it because of how brutally it taxes your body but how wonderful you feel afterwards.

ka2007 - thanks for taking the time. :)

you, i think, are just swell - thank you for lightening my heart tonight :)

great post. thanks for sharing.

I'm still 15. I know that I will grow out of it, never the less it still makes me a little upset. I never yell or anything because I know that would be really confusing to my mom who’s only trying to support me. I just feel like sometimes I think I just let my pride get in the way or something and I just want to say "go away I can do this on my own" and stick my nose up in the air. It’s bad, I know, but now when I go out to exercise I time it so that my mom isn’t around. I feel terrible that it does bother me though because I know that she's just trying to be supportive and I know that there are some people out there who don't have as much support as they would like. I'm sorry I'm just blabbing now.. But keep up the good work, I can’t believe the change. When you get down to 180 pounds you should let us know. I know I would be interested to know. Thanks. :D

I'm in the middle of my weight loss story... haven't been able to figure out how to write the ending.  I began at 250lbs and am sitting uncomfortably at 195.  I don't know what to expect from this point on because I've never been there.  That being said, it's my one excuse holding me from losing more weight.  I feel like me at this weight because it's my 'highschool weight'... and yeah, I'm "big-boned" too... hahaha... can't believe I ate that up for 23 years.

Reading your story has inspired me to try again.  You were there and didn't know what to expect and are still working on you.  That is amazing. 

"If you want to change just do it" is so simply written.  Makes it sound easy.  The struggle we have began will not end until we let it.  Congratulations on improving yourself physically and mentally... the only one that controls you is you.

Congrats on coming so far!!! I especially agree with you about the importance of believing in yourself and not listening to people (especially family, whose opinions tend to have a big impact on us!) when they tell you that you cannot change what genetics has given you. As someone whose weight has also fluctuated greatly over the past 10 years...it's good to see someone else who is sucessful! congratulations! :)

Flakester - Thanks, glad you enjoyed it. :D

rnjt - No problem. :)

do-not-fall: I think you will grow out of it, but waiting to grow out of stuff sucks, really bad. You're more than welcome to blab, I'll read and respond. I can't quite recall in words what I would have said about my feelings but I can tell you how I put it to my mother when I spoke with her about it because that part remains in my mind. It was something along the lines of, "Look, mom, I know you're just trying to be helpful and I do appreciate it but everytime you encourage me and tell me I'm doing well it makes me feel like I'm doing this for you, and not me. Then I get really frustrated. I'd really prefer if you just didn't mention what I was doing. Thanks." And it worked like a charm for a while. I just didn't really know what I was doing and then I stopped after a while because I wasn't seeing much of an affect. I could still tell in her eyes that she was happy for me and supported me, and that still kinda frustrated me but also made me happy. I was glad that even though I was being ludicrous about the situation she still accepted my feelings and cared for me. If your mom is willing to support you vocally she's probably willing to do it silently. What harm could come from asking her not to mention it? Then you don't have to feel like you're sneaking around and that way you can do as you please openly. Tell me what you think and the results of anything you try please. There has to be a solution to this somewhere!

gingerkabureck - Hehe. You remind me of me around 215. I was like, wow. This is how much I weighed after 1st year. Where do I go from here? I guess I'll go down. And ever since I've been astonished, because I haven't weighed this little since I was around 12 probably. It's a shocker, but in a good way. Now, today I was asked the question of "When you were 240, what did you think of your weight?" I was happy, in a good relationship, working hard at school and I felt content. I was not happy with my weight. This is what I think you should consider. Are you happy at 195? If you are then that is fantastic AND wonderful. Anything you decide from there can only get better right? Maintain that level and things should go well. Now, if you're only content, then I'd suggest thinking about why you're only content. What would you rather have different? Then be realistic and think if you could actually change that. If you can, then why not? Why not try to? Why not just do it? Work at it and set a hazy goal. Like, next year, I want to be able to wear this blue shirt (I had a long sleeve brown shirt I bought but it was too small at the time. I really like it though and I am proud that I can now wear it anytime and it looks quite good on me. It was one of my goals). It doesn't have to be huge. Then once you've got that done, think about the next step. Of course, this is only if you want to change.

Personally I think that you and everyone else deserves to be more than just content with ourselves. Life is something to be enjoyed by all - and the manner of that enjoyment is up to each of us. And yeah, big boned. That is a wonderful one, lol. Although I still retain the idea that I may have a slightly higher bone density, it's fading and nearly gone, lol.

"If you want to change just do it". It is simply written because it is simple. It's not easy, but is a simple thing to do. You can change anything you want to once you've determined to do it. You just need to be willing to see it through to the end.

Johgar - Thank you! Hmmm, well I feel silly, hehe. I didn't notice that your sentence continued after the brackets and was about to write my disagreement of your agreement, but now I'm all agreeance and I am hoping your aren't aggrieved at my now erased aggrivation (I loved doing that, hehe). :D

aw I loved reading that it really made me smile :)

Thanks for sharing it I feel very inspired

Dave, you're awesome.

I know it's no longer your motivator, but regardless, that girl is going to know you as "the one who got away".

Best to you,

Jules

Wow!!! very inspiring. Congratulations on your new lifestyle.  You are correct.  It's about lifelong changes, not the temporary shortcuts.  Again, Congrats and i know u will reach any goal that you put your mind to.

Original Post by decarswell:

Are you happy at 195?

 No, definitely not.  I got to this weight and even a little lower and was tired of being on a diet.  That was my problem.  I considered this new lifestyle a diet, rather than a change.  I now see things differently.  I'm not trying to lose this weight by any time... I'm just taking things slow and living each day for what it's worth.  I used to wish for Thursday (weigh in day) just to see how much I had lost...which was a lot each week because I was restricting uncontrollably.  Now I have a grasp on what it was I was attempting to do in the first place- get HEALTHY. 

Although I am content with my weight, my lifestyle is not complete.  I still have thoughts of fasting... I still have times where I eat and eat and eat and eat until I'm ready to throw up.  These things I must work on.  It's not so much the number on the scale I am worried about... it's my mentality for a healthier life.  I wish you the best and thanks again for your story... you are very mature and intelligent and I am glad that you have found happiness.

shannona -  :) Glad you liked it.

skookum - Haha. Well, one can hope right? I like the idea, lol. I'll keep it in mind!

vponce -  Thanks. I appreciate the support.

gingerkabureck - Thanks for the kind words. I think that you should set yourself a goal actually. I just don't think that having a really solid time frame works for everyone mostly because then you can suffer a defeat. In my eyes any progress towards my goal is good, so I don't see why I should have to feel bad because I achieved it in 12 months instead of 8. That's my reasoning behind loose goal time frames. The issue is you run the risk of not having enough drive to complete your goal. If you've got the drive then your time frame is less important.

I'm glad you recognize what the problem was the first time around, but rather than beat yourself up about it why not congratulate yourself for the changes you were able to bring about. You can always change your behaviour patterns again. As for the eating too much, well it still happens to me too. My stomach is smaller now so restaurant portions don't fit well with me. Sometimes they're really tasty though and I want to eat, eat and eat. It's just so good. The flip side is that you feel horrible for hours afterwards and all the consequences that too much food in your belly brings. You know that doesn't feel good, so why not use that feeling as a motivation. Use that feeling to push yourself away from the consistent eating. Just think "How much is eating this extra side of ribs going to hurt me in the next few hours? Is it really worth it?". If the answer is yes to you then do it but it won't often be yes.

The number on the scale isn't important. I found it was a good motivator for me though, but it wasn't all that pushed me onwards. Whatever works for you right?

Any thoughts? Do my ideas make sense? I could be crazy. :D

Heh, I also forgot to mention that in case anyone is interested I uploaded some pics. The current one is me in April, and the older one is from 2004 in September.

Dave,

Your definitely inspiring and an excellent writer and teacher.  I hope that you're also getting something out of sharing with everyone and reflecting on your experiences for the benefit of others.

I've just lost 88 pounds in 5 months.  I was on a full liquid supplemented fast (medically supervised, prescribed by my doctor).  I stared at 400 calories a day, and finished at 800 calories a day - all in protein-type shakes.  I'm just now adding back food and slowing the weight loss.

My journey is so different, but I have such similar fears and pitfalls.  My grandfather passed away two weeks ago.  I had to travel across country to attend the funeral.  His passing has actually made me reconsider the fast, the weight loss, the extreme nature of my change. 

I lost on average 4 pounds a week.  Some weeks I lost 8 -10 pounds a week, early on.  I'm now 12 pounds away from my "high school" weight, and I should easily reach my goal during the 6 weeks it will take to change from fast to regular full food diet.  But I'm terrified to stop losing weight.  I'm happy with the clothing size I wear, I'm happy with how I look in the mirror and how my fiance smiles at me.  I am reaching my goal, but haven't had time to adjust my mental image.  I haven't had to "live in" my body at any particular weight, because the next week it was less. 

I want to see the numbers on the scale continue to go down, but I don't necessarily want to get any smaller.  I'm just gritting my teeth to stop, regain control, and even out.  Its a different kind of "just do it" and for a different reason, but I feel like I have to take a stand at some point and decide:  "I will be happy here, at this weight, in this body."

This is not what I intended to write, but now here it is.  Congrats Dave, you're inspiring not only in your weight loss, but your openness.  Considering you didn't post for 1 year, you certainly opened up with a bang.

-Ketus

Dave,
Pouring your heart out this honestly has gotten you a lot of attention, so I don't expect you to read this, but I'm putting it up with good vibes and a smile on my face. Thank you for writing this. I can't say I've felt all that you have, seen all you have seen, but I witnessed it as I read your story.
You're a real champion for working this hard, coming this far, and I think you can't be told that enough times, no matter how many people reply to this thread. (Which I hope is a lot because a dose of the positivity and hope you've got is just what people around here need.)
Congratulations on taking control, and becoming who you want to be. All the Best! Ri :)