Hospitalisation - Please help to ease my fears

Hi everyone, i posted this in the ED recovery section but i need help rather urgently so im posting it here. Im sorry if this breaks the rules, a mod can remove my post from the ed forum if they want to.

Its been a long time since i posted anything of CC but ive come to a fork in the road so to speak and i need some urgent advice and support.

Im most likely being admitted to hospital (for medical complications of ED)  tomorrow and im terrified. My heart is really struggeling and my doctor is concerned about acute heart failure. Ive lost alot of weight in the last 2 weeks or so and my eating has been really bad.

Im terrified about whats going to happen when i go to hospital. Im scared that they are going to turn me away because i weigh too much or im not sick enough. Im scared im going to be treated badly because they see it as my fault that im sick. Im scared of having to eat while im there. Im just so so scard. Im scared that they are going to tell me there is something seriously worng with my heart.

Right now im at the point where i know i need help or i am going to die. Im scared that they wont help me. Im prepared to allow them to help me now, i havnt been before, but i know that this is my last shot. If i dont get help now i never will.

Im terrified. Im go to sleep at night worrying that i wont wake up in the morning.

Can anyone tell me what will happen at the hospital. Its not an eating disorder unit, its a general medical hospital. I dont need to gain weight i just need to eat and not lose anymore weight. Im prepared to let them help me to eat but i dont want to be forced to eat. I know that they cant put in a NG tube as im not underweight and i am going to try to eat. Please can someone just help to ease my fears.

All hospitals should treat their patients equally, and no one will turn you away or treat you any differently from any other patient.  Now that you have made the choice to start eating better and are not underweight, you are doing a much better thing for your body, so please don't be scared!!  I tell myself this when I'm scared about medical stuff:  If your heart was really a problem, wouldn't the doctors want to see you sooner?  Best wishes :) You'll be ok :)

The doctors have wanted to see me sooner but i have said no.

This is the type of thing i mean. I finally acknowledge that i have a serious problem and that i need help. I have finally acknowledged what my doctor has been telling me for the last tow weeks, that i am sick, that i am at risk for acute heart failure and im finally listening. But then its like its minimised by people. Oh you cant really be that sick, youre not underweight, you dont look sick.

Im terrified that this is going to happen tomorrow, that they will say exactly what you have sad, that there cant be anything seriously wrong otherwise i would have been in hospital sooner.

This is whats going to happen tomorrow, they wont help me.

If you want them to help you, speak up and let them hear you.

You need to stand up for yourself.  Don't hmm and hawand say I don't know.  Answer their questions with the truth.   Do not put them off anymore.  It is perfectly fine to be scared and it is your right to ask what is going to happen while you are in hospital.

Please get well.  Be kind to yourself.

Don't be afraid of the hospital.  The people there have chosen to dedicate their lives to helping other people.  They are generally very compassionate people.  You obviously have a medical problem, since your doctor is afraid of heart failure.  They will NOT turn you away.  Health complications from eating disorders are widely known and they will not take your situation lightly.  They won't force you to eat unless they believe that you are dangerously underweight.  They may give you an I.V. to keep your electrolytes balanced in order to keep your heart functioning normally.  Most likely they will do tests on your heart, blood tests, and monitor your vital signs.  They will try to find out the condition of your vital organs.  I had my heart examined for the possibility of damage because of an eating disorder.  They did an EKG and and echocardiogram on me.  Both are painless.  There are other tests they can do, too.  

If there is something wrong with your heart, they will help you.  They will discuss what you need to do to control it, or possible ways to fix it.  But you need to agree to make the necessary changes in your lifestyle, or you can die.  

Like spoiled_candy said, be sure to tell them your concerns.  Ask them questions.  They may give you something to keep you calm if you tell them you are afraid, but maybe not if they believe there is something wrong with your heart.  Ask them about it if you are feeling like your anxiety is too much.  Make sure they know ALL of your medical history, including your recent and past eating habits.  You want them to take care of you the best they can, and to do that they must know everything.  

 Don't be afraid, they will take care of you.  There will be tons of doctors running around and watching you.  Just remember, anything that they tell you about your condition, you can handle.  You can be healthy again, you just have to believe it.  Take care.  Best of health and luck to you.

I'm a nursing student and I can tell you that the staff there WILL NOT blame you for your problem.  For the most part they are really good people, and no one will tell you that 'you don't have a problem'--in fact, most of them will find things you didn't even know you needed fixed.  And if your doctor is admitting you for your heart, they are going to take that very seriously. 

Basically what will happen in the hospital is what briley told you.  IV (and they can give you lidocaine, a numbing drug, before they put that in if you ask) vital signs, assessments, probably some blood tests.  If you get a good nurse she'll be able to get it right out of your IV.  If you have any specific questions, please feel free to e-mail me.  I'll talk to my mom (who is also a very experienced nurse) or my professors if I don't know the answer.  Good luck, and God be with you.

Thankyou so much for your kind words. It has eased my anxiety a little. I still really scared that they wont help me but my chest pain has been getting worse the last couple of days so maybe there is a problem.

Is it weird that im scared they wont find anything worng, im scared that they will send me home. But nothing wrong is a good thing.

I go to my GP in a little over 2 hours and im going to the hospital from there. I guess once i see my GP and find out exactly whats going to be happening i will feel better. Its not knowing thats so scarey.

Thanks again everyone.

When you go into the hospital talk to someone that seems nice and tell them you are scared.  I know it is hard to say, but I think that saying it will make you feel better and it will help them know how to take care of you physically and mentally.  Remember that these people are there because they genuinely want to help you.  If you are sick they will find out what is going on.  They don't care how you got there.  They just want to help you get better.

It could be something simple like an electrolyte imbalance.  For example, a lack of potassium can cause chest pain and discomfort and while it is unsafe to not correct it, it is easy repaired.  I don't know what is wrong with you.  This is just an example.  Try to trust these people to help you.  It's good to ask questions and be involved in what is happening but don't forget that they want to take care of you.

You are going to do great! Do yourself a favor and take us with you ! Print all of these responses out and bring them to the hospital and when you read them they will help ease your anxiety. I do not have an ED but I do suffer majorly from panic disorders and knowing that you have people thinking and praying for you during this time is such a blessing. So print us out and bring with!!! -Take care of yourself