Humiliations of Being Overweight

Today I randomly went into a Chinese supermarket where they sell food but there are also random vendor stalls who sell a range of products.  The moment I walked in this chinese lady started yelling at me from her stall, I didn't understand her at first (I'm Latina) but it turns out she was trying to sell me some weight loss product.  It was really embarassing. How is a person supposed to develop confidence and self-esteem when stuff like that happens??

One thing I've noticed is the perception of fat varies by culture.

My friends mother is Korean and her association with fat is that it is something to fix, not something that is emotional or tied into self esteem.  She has no problem constantly telling my friend she should lose weight.

When I was in Vietnam I had a lot of people come up and gesture about my body and breast size.  They were very friendly and I honestly don't think they meant this to be insulting.  When my boyfriend and I would walk through markets they would say they have American sizes.  A 4xl shirt there was tight on him, where in the US he only wears a large.

It's hard not to be hurt even when it is not someones intentions.  But I think recognizing the difference in perception and intention helps. 

Original Post by tortoisewins:

One thing I've noticed is the perception of fat varies by culture.

My friends mother is Korean and her association with fat is that it is something to fix, not something that is emotional or tied into self esteem.  She has no problem constantly telling my friend she should lose weight.

When I was in Vietnam I had a lot of people come up and gesture about my body and breast size.  They were very friendly and I honestly don't think they meant this to be insulting.  When my boyfriend and I would walk through markets they would say they have American sizes.  A 4xl shirt there was tight on him, where in the US he only wears a large.

It's hard not to be hurt even when it is not someones intentions.  But I think recognizing the difference in perception and intention helps. 

 

I agree with this 100%. I live in Japan and their perspective of fat is vastly different from an American perspective. My SIL is a tiny girl(size 4) but when she was here visiting she bought a size large shirt just because of her breasts. I don't even shop at the Japanese clothing stores anymore. It's bad for my self esteem, LOL.

Then there is the sale.   People who sell products from stalls need to make money.  You were not targeted because of your weight - you were probably targeted because she needed to make money.  Women buy most weight loss products so in her mind you were a likely candidate for a sale. 

My view is this in regards to my weight: "It is what it is." I am fat. I don't "think" I am fat--I know I am. So if someone calls it what it is, why should I feel bad?

Someone thinks you need to lose weight--so what.

Who is this lady to you? Nobody.

Besides as madamq said, she wasn't singling you out, she was just trying to make a sale.  They target whom ever they think may purchase the product.

Lastly, accept yourself, love yourself and don't assume what others think of you. Life will be happier if you don't try to put thoughts into others heads.

Best wishes. Be confident. Live happy.

lets not be extreme on this and get all defensive. obviously we all want to lose weight so lets embrace it not run from it. remeber just take it slow and watch the pounds melt away.

Wow- thanks so much for bringing up the cultural differences, I hadn't thought of it like that.  I just felt singled out for my weight but didn't look at it from her point of view of trying to make a living or possibly help. That is something I struggle with, I see my weight as the elephant in the room and am very sensitive about it.

Well, a few years ago on a very hot summer day, I walking into a convenience store to pay for gas and get a bottle of water and the store clerk and I struck up a conversation abut how unbearably hot it was outside. She then proceeded to comment "I know it's hot for you, being pregnant and all..."

Of course I wasn't pregnant, but after a moment of head spinning and blushing, I just smiled and agreed with her, not letting on that I was not expecting.

Talk about embarrassing. 

My pet hate used to be sitting down in an airline seat, trying to fasten the  seatbelt and finding that the person who had previously used it must have had the waist measurement of a drinking straw!!!  The day I sat down and didn't have to adjust the buckle was one of those keep-it-to-yourself grin-inducing triumphs.  (Or maybe a really big person had just left the seat...?  No... it was definitely not that...)

A similar sort of thing happened to me once. I went to a walk-in clinic for a totally non-weight-related issue, and after dealing with that, the doctor proceeded to try and sell me some bogus weight-loss product she was selling from her back office. The DOCTOR. At the time I was just humilated, but in retrospect I should have reported her for unethical behaviour.

Another time some random older lady struck up a conversation with me in a line-up by turning to me and saying "You should really lose weight now, while it's easy, it gets much harder when you are older". Oh REALLY, it's easy, how dumb am I for not taking care of this while it's easy.

What I don't get is why, when you are fat, to some people your body becomes public domain and it's ok to comment or suggest or make fun of....though I guess this is true if you are overly skinny too, or appear pregnant, or even just have a big nose.

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Lastly, accept yourself, love yourself and don't assume what others think of you. Life will be happier if you don't try to put thoughts into others heads.

Best wishes. Be confident. Live happy.

 

wow. i like this site not just because of all the info but because there are some really wise people here. kudos to you!

Original Post by ka2007:

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Lastly, accept yourself, love yourself and don't assume what others think of you. Life will be happier if you don't try to put thoughts into others heads.

Best wishes. Be confident. Live happy.

 

wow. i like this site not just because of all the info but because there are some really wise people here. kudos to you!

Original Post by victoriagirl:

A similar sort of thing happened to me once. I went to a walk-in clinic for a totally non-weight-related issue, and after dealing with that, the doctor proceeded to try and sell me some bogus weight-loss product she was selling from her back office. The DOCTOR. At the time I was just humilated, but in retrospect I should have reported her for unethical behaviour.

Another time some random older lady struck up a conversation with me in a line-up by turning to me and saying "You should really lose weight now, while it's easy, it gets much harder when you are older". Oh REALLY, it's easy, how dumb am I for not taking care of this while it's easy.

What I don't get is why, when you are fat, to some people your body becomes public domain and it's ok to comment or suggest or make fun of....though I guess this is true if you are overly skinny too, or appear pregnant, or even just have a big nose.

You touch on an interesting point. I feel like people in general think that women's bodies are ok to comment upon, wither they are fat or thin or ugly or pretty. I could get started on a whole slew of feminist rants on this issure, but I'll just leave it at that, because I know that people comment about men's bodies too.