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Just Not Hungry!

This is my first entry on this website... I guess it's a step considering that I'm finally admitting something is wrong.

I eat an average of 600 calories per day - 700 when I force myself to stuff in more food - and I simply cannot eat more than that... I'm 5'7", 102 lbs, and I've missed one period, probably because I've lost about 20 pounds in the last 5-6 months.  I know that this calorie intake level is unhealthy, despite the fact that nearly all of it is made up of fruits, veggies, and other healthy foods like oatmeal, but now I'm afraid that if I eat more calories -whether be they from eating more high-calorie food, or from eating more healthy food - I'll start gaining weight.  Maybe this is wrong, but it seems to make sense seeing as I'm not hungry after 600 calories... wouldn't extra food after that be food my body doesn't need??

...help?

You are very brave and smart to admit and write this out.  (((HUGGS)))
Have you seen your doctor and talked about this with her/him?

If you can get beyond being "afraid" and you did up your intake (if you can force yourself to eat more), I would think you'd be ok as far as gaining goes. You're quite underweight now -- any pounds you pack on because of starvation mode aren't going to hurt you and probably by the time starvation mode levels off you'll be just right. Just do it slowly -- introduce more calories slowly. 

Welcome!  I admire your bravery in posting about your problem. 

You can make good use of the tools here on calorie-count to help you choose more caloric and nutrition dense foods.  If you have a choice of a lower calorie version of the food, go for the one with the higher calories.  Look for foods that are high in essential nutrients.  As alayney says, go slowly. 

Weight gain is a good thing for you, not bad.  I hope you can find what you need.

Thanks you guys for your responses...

I can't go see a doctor because then my parents (who are already dubious) will be convinced I have a problem, and will not allow me to go to college in the Fall. (I am a H.S. senior, but am only 16, so they are tentative about it.)  Believe me, leaving for college is something I will not give up.

My problem is that I just can't get myself to eat higher-calorie foods... I find myself counting the calories of everything, and buying low-calorie foods, if anything.  (plus, I'm vegetarian)  Also, I love fruits and vegetables, and am not a big fan of breads or sweets, so I naturally crave things like broccoli and carrots, not ice cream.

For example, it is 3 PM, and so far today I've eaten:

Breakfast:

1 Fried Egg + 1 piece Light Wheat Bread + Piece of banana + coffee = 200(ish)

Lunch:

1/2 apple + 1/2 Light n' Fit yogurt + small piece of celery + carrot = 150(ish)

So it's 3 and I'm at 350 calories for the day...  you see my dilemna?

Oh, and plus, I work out (lifting weights, punching bag, Dance Dance Revolution etc.) for 30-45 minutes a day average, so today, for example, I've burned around 150 calories from that alone, which leaves me at 200 calories for my normal allowance so far.

Parents never want you to move out.  You must have a lot of stress being sixteen and a senior.
Is there a teen health centre in your city.  They usually won't tell your parents and they have doctors and therapists.

You could add cheese, nuts, oils in salads for starters. Another thing is that you're not really even eating that much fruit. You could eat a whole banana, a whole apple, a whole yogurt, and more than just one piece of celery and a carrot. You should also look into adding protein sources, especially as a vegetarian.

I think that you've trained yourself to not be hungry because of your fear of weight gain, but you have to realize that you need to overcome that fear because you are severely punishing your body and depriving it of food that it needs.

You've messed with your body's natural needs, so you can't really listen to it. You need to listen to common sense and general knowledge that says you're just starving yourself. And that's bad whether you're hungry or not.

Kudos to you for having the balls to admit you have an issue. That's the first step to becoming better! :)

Hey!

Well, heres my input. In the past year I developed an ed, and now am in recovery. I am like you, 5'7 and my lowest was 97. I thought I was so healthy and good and lstening to my body cause I was never hungry but now, I really regret doing that to myself.

I lost my period for a year and ended up getting slight anemia, and developed PCOS, I became depressed and my whole life was just living through the day eating all healthy and very little. Sometimes, even though I didn't feel hungry through the day, at night I'd wake up sweating and throbbing in need of FOOOOOOD. So sometimes I'd actually have to run downstairs to eat somethig, so I wouldnt keep messing up my heart rate.

Anyways, I really advise you from my heart that you start eating more. If it makes you feel bad to eat alot, then make it healthier food so you know that "hey, this is good for my body, so its ok to eat alot" Also, eat healthier oils, like olive oil and that way, it doesnt fill you u so you dont bloat and feel bad etc.

Another thing, since I did that fr a year, when I started to add the things I'd never eaten for a year to my diet I began WANTING THEM SO BAD. The longer you restrict, the worse state you'll be in craving/eating wise. Just start today, be healthy, eat more, and in the long run you won't face an consequences.

IF you can't do it on your own, talk to someone or go to a therapist or something. I thought I'd hate gaining weight, and because I did it for a year, I ended up binging on things I'd restricted eating because my body NEEDED it. Now, I'm right at 115, and feel more womanly and strong and more attractive becuase I got my boobs back and suff!

SO the sooner you get healthy and increase your calories, the less likeley you'll experience these negative things. Take it from me, someone who went through this already. 

Please keep us posted!

Good Luck and Best Wishes! You can do it!

One thing you have to remember is that you need nutrients to be healthy--it isn't just about weight and calories -- those things called protein, vitamins, minerals, they are all very important.  So forget about the calories for awhile, and just concentrate on getting the nutrients you need.  You can increase your appetite for food, by adding more in each day.  You could start with one of the nutrition drinks, like ensure. 

I agree with a previous poster, you are not even eating that much fruit and vegetables.  On a daily basis I consume most of the following:  a large apple, a banana, a large orange, and 10-15 each of fresh grapes and cherries.  In addition, I have several servings of veggies.

Just think of it as medicine -- the nutrients are medicine to make your body healthy.

You will need all the brain power you can get when you get to college -- and you need good nutrition for brain power.

hi. u may not agree with me but imo, u may have anorexia. i know its hard to accept it. i was like u a couple yrs ago. i ate nothing but fruits and veg and anything else, i didnt touch. i lost a lot of hair, my periods stopped(for almost 3 yrs now....), i had mood swings and depression, my skin became yellow, i just looked horrible. i didnt think i was anorexic cos i was still eating and besides, i told myself that i didnt eatthe other foods cos 'i didnt like it'.

now im still suffering from many side effects of my horrible eating habits. and my anorexia has worsened to binge eating. sometimes i can eat like 4 to 5000 cals in a sitting. u cant imagine how badly i regret losing wt the way i did.i often wish that i can turn back time and i would have done it differently. btw, im only like 2 years older than u. and i seriously dont know how im going to continue living the rest of my life in this state. well, just wanna tell u that u shld and can do sth abt it before it gets any worse. cos b4 u know it, u will find eating with frens a horrible and stressful event that is to be avoided at all costs. by that time, no amount of logic or reasoning will be able to change ur perception of what is healthy and what isnt. true, some things are good for u and some arent as good for u, but the key is balance and moderation. subsisting on fruits and veg alone doesnt make u healthier than someone who eats fast food all say long. u just dont suffer from the same health problems.

im sure ur social life is already affected in some way if u are so obsessed with the calories in food. which i once was. bottom line: STOP THIS BEFORE IT GET WORSE!!

hope u dont feel offended or think that im crazy or sth. haha...well, thats just a tiny bit of my life experience. And good luck with college :)

Honestly, you are me. Seriously. I wrote a post exactly like this in a body building nutrition forum two years ago. I didn't know it then, but I had an eating disorder. I wasn't in denial; I just didn't know. I was eating 700 calories a day and was convinced I couldn't eat more than that. Looking back, I now see that I could've. I had simply trained my body to not be bothered by hunger AND I was scared of the calories and the weight gain AND my body was in starvation mode and was no longer hungry.

One thing you should know is that the body ALWAYS need more than 600 calories a day. Even people in COMAS get at least 1200 calories tube feed to them. You are starving your body, whether it is intentional or not. You need to eat more energy-dense healthy foods, such as all natural peanut butter, nuts, soymilk, 100% juice, avocados, and dried fruit. All very healthy foods. I suggest increasing your calories by 50 a week. For instance 650 one week, 700 the next, 750 the next, 800 the next, etc, until you get up to at least 1400 a day.

If you can't bring yourself to do this alone, then you need professional help, and that is completely OKAY.

I wish I had gotten help then and spared myself the hell I ended up going through during the next two years. Please, please, please get help now. Go to a nutritionist and a therapist - they will help you SO much. It will be like a weight (no pun intended) has been lifted off your shoulders. I promise. Good luck hun.

Best wishes.

<3

Thanks for all the support you guys. (especially from Ilisa, who does sound a lot like me)

It's not that I'm scared of eating in general.. I really like cooking things and trying out new flavors.  I don't mind going out to eat with friends or family - I just can't eat very much, and only eat the healthy choices.  For example, when I woke up this morning, I wanted to try to eat at least 250 calories for breakfast, but by the time I got through an apple and half a yogurt (110 calories) I was stuffed.  I went to Subway the other day with my mom and got a Veggie Wrap (approx. 120 calories) and couldn't even finish it...

My mom says "Eat more cookies!" but not only do they not sound appetizing, I know I would feel so bad after eating them that I'd purge.

I confess, last night, I was full (at 730 calories for the day) and I had a smaalll bowl of all-bran cereal at 9 PM (seriously, it was probably only 50 calories worth) but I felt so... I don't know.. gluttonous for eating when I was already full that I purged (which I hadn't done in at least a week).

Anyhow, yesterday I got to 730, so that's a little improvement, I suppose.  I'll just have to take it one day at a time.  (Although, I must admit, I don't entirely miss having to have periods.. :-P)

radbird: hullo! im sure you know this by now, but you have an eating disorder, as do i. i am currently on track to recovery and it's the hardest thing ive ever done in my life, honestly. about feeling full...I HATE THAT FEELING, i know what you mean. you feel so freaking guilty that you actually have something in your stomach and the urge to purge eats away at you. but ive found some ways that work slighty. after eating when i feel full, i take a walk. I FORCE myself to, even though i feel like complete crap and a failure for feeling full. this is horrible, but i also smoke a cigarette. Do ANYTHING to get your mind off that horrible feeling. i know i know it's so much easier said then done. just dont curl up in a ball and let yourself feel it. it gets much easier with time. also, because of my difficulities with feeling full and guilty and not eating, my doctor and nutritionist gave me the advice of drinking Boost Energy drinks. you can get them at any drug store. they make up a lot of calories (I KNOW DEEEATHWORDS) but i just drink them really fast, they're only 8oz and really they taste reallllly good, the vanilla ones anyways. recovery is really hard, but help from someone else would be so beneficial. i really wish your parents would understand. also, when you do go to college, there should be a free health clinic that can help you with all kinds of stuff related to this stupid disease. GOOD LUCK!!!

How do you do it???????????

You are so bloody lucky. I cannot survive on less than about 1600 calories per day, and even that's a stretch. I get tired, irritable, and shaky when I eat less than 2000. If I wasn't so worried about gaining weight, I would eat 3000 calories every day and probably feel great. I can just imagine how much weight I'd lose if I could eat so little and not die of starvation. I've tried eating less, but I just get too hungry and decide it's not worth it. I wish I was like you! i just HATE being hungry! I think it's worse than feeling too full--waaaay worse.

hi radbird,

Just wanted to tell you that you are on the right track. You have admitted you have a problem and asked for help. I'd like to give you a little encouragement by telling you about my experience. When I was 16, I was 5'6" and got down to 68 lbs. My boyfriend's mother was a nurse, and she was worried about me, so she started keeping track of what I was eating. Then she sat me down and explained what I was doing to my body by starving myself. Without her support and nutritional counseling, I would have probably just wasted away.

It took me a long time to overcome the anorexia, but I was up to 98 lbs when I graduated from high school. I didn't eat because I was terrified I'd gain weight. I would imagine my head on the fattest person in the room's body and it would make me sick. I had trained my body not to be hungry, and it had to be retrained. Rose helped me add protein and carbs gradually. She was a great cook, so she made it fun. Sounds like you like to experiment in the kitchen too, so you can do it!

Rose told me about the health risks I was taking.  Many of them are listed in previous posts, but what malnourishment does to your heart is the most serious one. The damage to my metabolism has caused problems for the rest of my life. I developed hypoglycemia and anemia in college. I had headaches that kept me from studying and enjoying life. I had problems with my thyroid and started gaining weight. I gained 90 lbs in 4 months, and I still haven't lost it (25 yrs later). I now have type 2 diabetes,and my metabolism is still messed up. I went from being severely under-weight to being severly overweight.

You can avoid all of this by getting healthy now.   You've taken the first step by admitting the problem. Now do yourself a favor by getting some help from someone you trust who will support and encourage you. Accountability is a good thing with this. Make the committment to love yourself and your body in every stage. You are not your weight - you are a beautiful person! You are worth feeding and taking care of properly!

Good luck to you, girl!

my parents got a digital scale the other day, and when I weighed in at 101, they FREAKED.  They told me that if I don't gain 10 lbs, I'm not going to college... what am I going to do?!?!?  I can't make myself gain weight - I'm having enough trouble maintaining!  Plus, they're trying to force me to gain through junk food like Oreos and lots of empty carbs, which I refuse to eat.  I don't even WANT to gain 10 pounds... I feel really healthy where I am.

Sometimes I truly think my parents ideas of parental compassion are medieval.

radbird, your parents love you and are worried about serious consequences of your undereating.  Now that they know, have them make an appointment with a specialist, or even your family doctor or pediatrician.  Enlist their help.  You absolutely must gain that weight.  You've gotten a lot of support here, but I feel it's not enough.  You need the advice of a professional.

I think your parents are right in not allowing you to go to college in such an unhealthy state.  There have been many, many news stories about young women losing their lives to anorexia.  Your parents are afraid you'll die.  Please take them seriously.  They are the ones who love and care about you.

Hey radbird.

You're not really admitting something is wrong, not 100% at least. Your right, being underweight, missing a period and not consuming enough calories is cause for concern. But then you try to justify it: I'm just not hungry, my body doesn't need more than that. You say you're worried about gaining weight.  These are mental signs of a problem, you've only shown concern for the physical signs. 

Do you really feel healthy and happy? We only know what you tell us online, you need to talk to someone that can really help you and you need to face the issue head on, otherwise it will just go down hill from here. I know, a couple of years ago I suffered from an eating disorder as well. I realize now that I only thought that I wasn't hungry because I ignored the hunger, I was too stressed out about my weight to think about food. You need to rediscover your own self-worth.

Hey, I just had a look at your display picture and thought that you have an amaazing body. I wanted to have a body just like that until i saw how much you weighed and got the shock of my life. I'm 5'6 and 51 kilos and I wouldn't be able to sleep at night knowing that i weighed 44 kilos and that I'm doing serious damage to my health. This would be enough of a motivation to eat.

Please eat more, thats really unhealthy. You should eat i mean even my parents seem to think I'm too skinny and look underfed and i weigh 7 kilos more than you!! so just eat more even if you don't feel like it. I'm vegetarian too, and i loveee fruit! so go and bake a nice apple crumble with ice cream on the side! I'm sure you love them, chose a nice desert that you love and have it every night!!

Peanut butter and jelly sandwich with NORMAL whole wheat bread.  This should be 180 for the two slices of bread, 190 for the tablespoon of peanut butter and about 40 calories for the tablespoon of jelly.  Eat one PBJ with a glass of milk for breakfast and you will be well on your way to eating a healthier and happier diet.

If you get full fast, then pick more calorie dense items like peanuts, walnuts, olive oil, eggs, and cheese.  My goal calories are pretty low (1200) and you aren't even getting there on this starvation mode you have set yourself to.

If you feel you don't have appetite, drink your calories.  Have a glass of V-8, have a lemonaid, have a cup of cocoa before bed like I do.  Your body really needs the fuel.