hysterectomy? [update!]

mods: please please please don't move this to health & support!  i don't need the input of a bunch of skinny teenagers; i'm looking for grown-up women!

i'm thinking about having a hysterectomy and want to hear the experiences--good and bad--of my adult friends here.

i'm not going to do anything for at least a year, because it's just not the right time to fall apart (in case i do).  but i have massive fibroids that can't be removed non-invasively.  my periods are not painful, but they are extremely heavy and long, and my cycle is short.  you know that rule about going to emergency if you're going through more than one tampon an hour?  yeah, that's me two days out of every 23 (no, i don't go to emergency). 

i'm tired of being iron depleted and i'm tired of having a grapefruit in my belly.  but i'm not sure i'm ready for the emotional and hormonal trauma.  any input is appreciated.

oh yeah - i'm 40, no kids.

Original Post by trustwomen:

Maybe for your body image you need to go out and get laid. Always helps me.

oh - there's no doubt about this!  body image aside...

I had a total hystorectomy last May.  I had pre-cancerous cells.  I had no hormonal side effects, or chemical imbalances and grow no more facial hair now than I did prior.  I also had nothing to regret because I made the decision 26 years ago not to have any more children by having a tubal.  I guess we are all different.  I wish you the best with whatever decision you make.

thanks, mommakitty.  always good to hear a positive story ;)

One of my mentors had a radical hysterectomy in response to cervical cancer. They told her she probably wouldn't survive, even with the surgery. Her reaction? She threw herself a death party and invited all her friends. They were all sitting around crying, and she yelled at them, "Why are you crying?!?! It's a PARTY!!!" They moved her ovaries into her arm so she could have a baby through a surrogate if she wanted to, but the radiation essentially "melted" them, as she describes it. Her reaction? "Meh, I never liked kids that much anyway." She also deeply enjoys the confusion of her OBGYNs who try to do PAP smears on her "bionic cervix." She says it's made of silly putty and she considers pressing comic strips against it before her pelvics to entertain her OBGYN.

5 years later, she's 100% cancer free.

It's all about attitude, M.

cool story, emily.  i don't want my ovaries in my arm, though.

thank you!

I just wanted to say that I became infertile at 16 years old. So I already know what it feels like to not be able to reproduce. Every now and then it's a little painful (like when I'm near a baby). But I learned that making and carrying a baby is not the most important thing in the world. There are sooooooooo many babies and children on this planet who have NO homes and I always thought maybe there was a reason for me being unable to reproduce. Become a mom to one who doesn't have one instead of putting a new one down on this (already overpopulated) Earth.

That's my 2 cents on the makin' babies thing.

And PG, *hugs* cause I kinda know what you're going through. I was told I needed a hysterectomy at 19 and I refused, and she told me if not now, it'll happen somewhere in the near future. I'm 24 and having pains again...so, yeah.

*hugs* *hugs* *hugs*

crap, 'bunny.  that sucks.

at least i got the chance to fritter away my baby-making capabilities.

yeah, i know i just have to save up $30,000 and go to china.  one of my best friends bought a beautiful little girl over there.

Original Post by pgeorgian:

crap, 'bunny.  that sucks.

at least i got the chance to fritter away my baby-making capabilities.

yeah, i know i just have to save up $30,000 and go to china.  one of my best friends bought a beautiful little girl over there.

hah, always trust pg to stir the pot with a wry turn of phrase ;)

yeah, well, my friend actually says it - she's just selective about when, where, and to whom ;)

Original Post by pgeorgian:

yeah, well, my friend actually says it - she's just selective about when, where, and to whom ;)

Also there are crack babies - as long as the mother wasn't drinking as well, they actually turn out just fine, studies are now showing. Much better to smoke a lot of crack than to drink, if you're pregnant.I always love trotting that one out to judgmental classmates.

Though over there in BC it would be more likely heroin babies, which are a little more damaged. The jury's still out on meth babies (aka the wave of the future).

I admit that I have mixed feelings on international adoptions. Less so when they are from China, but still...

i actually knew that about crack babies ;)

i think most heroin babies are fine, too; even when born addicted, once they get through withdrawl, they seem to be okay.  lots of learning disabilities and behaviour problems, but nobody's sure whether these are organic or attributable **** parenting.

my concern about meth babies would be the high likelihood that the mothers are severely malnourished.

i have mixed feelings on international adoptions, too (i clicked on your link, but it was slow, and i'm impatient and working on my lit review, so...).  the political workings are...insidious.  i try not to think about the way birth families are backed into corners and less-desirable babies are left in back rooms of orphanages until they age out.

PS, PG- I'm flattered you consider me a grown-up woman!

well - socially if not chronologically ;)

Hey pg,

  My sister had a big (baseball sized) fibroid removed about a year and a half ago.  It was touching the outside of her uterus.  She saw multiple doctors who all told her she would need a hysterectomy.  She wouldn't accept that, because she still wanted to have another baby.  She found a doctor who was willing to perform surgery (myomectomy)  to remove it.  It was a pretty tough surgery for her to go through, but she made a full recovery.  Seven months later, she got pregnant.  (She had been trying to get pregnant for two years prior to the surgery).  Even with the risk of uterine rupture, she really wanted to have a vaginal birth.  She found a midwife who had a lot of experience with VBAM (vaginal birth after myomectomy) and had a totally normal birth in October.  Anyway, I don't know if any of this applies to your situation, but I hope whatever you choose works for you.

Hi pg -

I don't have anything new to add but I just wanted to say that I agree with what Trust said.  You can always worry about the grapefruit in your belly later but if there's the slightest inkling that you might have a baby and there's no immediate health risks by not having the hysterectomy - then I'd wait.

Like you, I have awful periods. When I was younger I would bleed 3 weeks out of the month. That stopped after the use of birth control but I was young and didn't take them like I should so I stopped for many many years.  After I gave birth my periods gradually worsened. Not as bad as before but I'd have to wear a super tampon and 2-3 huge pads at a time and still change every hour or two or go through my clothes. Plus the cramps were bad. Now I'm back on a low estrogen pill (because I'm a smoker) and they are ok. I sometimes wish that I had a hysterectomy. I'm so sick of them and since I'm a caretaker to my mom and grandma and a single mom of a 10 yr old... I can't see me ever meeting a man. I just have too much to do to put myself out there.. besides.. my body is falling apart and anyway, I don't see it happening. But there's a tiny spec of thought that maybe, just maybe, I would meet someone.. so maybe I should wait. I don't know.  I see my future as a spinster becoming more and more like reality.

Oh, and I seriously need to get laid too! LOL  I won't even tell you how long it's been because you wouldn't believe me if I told you.

Best of luck to you in your decision though... it's a tough one!

thanks everyone!

medved, that's good to know.  i like my obgyn, but maybe she's just not willing to stretch her imagination.  she definitely seems to have already decided that i'm not going to have a child and it's just a matter of waiting for me to catch up.

yeah, i think i'll just hold off for at least a year and see what happens.  too much going on in my life right now for big decisions, you know?

i could have written a very similar post last year. i had a vaginal hysterectomy (kept my ovaries) and was very very well within 2 months. no more fibroids, horrible pain, tremendous bleeding, etc. make sure you have a great doctor and go to a great hospital. i never regretted it, as i have 3 boys and i sure don't miss my period. (no more pms either!)

Pgeo, My neice who just turned 40 had an LAVH spring of 2008 and is THRILLED.  She had the massive fibroids, cramping and EXTRA heavy flow that really depleated her energy.  This fall she completed the Danskin Triathalon!!  Now she gives me crap, cause at the age of 49 I am still dealing with this nasty period stuff. :(  Good luck to you though. 

pg -I had a total abdominal hysterectomy for endometriosis last April at 42.   They took out ovaries, cervix and uterus.   I recovered well from it and feel great now.  Was having severe pain and taking a lot of Motrin (800mg 3 x a day) which was so harsh on my stomach I was taking meds to help that.  I also had no luck losing weight due all the hormone disruption.  Since the surgery I have lost 50 lbs which has resulted in my going off cholesterol meds.  I no longer have pain so I don't need the Motrin and my stomach no longer under assault and I am off those meds. 

My quality of life has definetly improved.  My affect is very much improved since I am not in constant pain and I am finally in controll of my hormones.

I have had infertility issues because of the endometriosis and underwent much therapy involving lots of needles. When I realized this was not going to work for me, I made the decision to have the hysterectomy and it was the best for me.  That being said, we all make decisions based on what is best for ourselves at the time. 

I wish you much luck in your decision making.

wow - thanks for the feedback everyone!

if i knew for sure that i'd have more energy, i think i'd be more inclined to go ahead.  i mean, i feel pretty good now, but i do get tired from physical activity, and i often wonder how much more i could do if i weren't losing a pint of blood every three and a half weeks.