I'm afraid for my little brother.

My little brother is 12 years old. He used to be skinny up until what, age 7? Constantly growing, growing, growing. Right now he's 150 lbs and about 5'4.

His eating habits are ridiculous, he's beyond sedentary, and it seems like nobody seems to care as much as I do. If I tell him facts and what's healthy to eat, and he doesn't care. He just does not care and there is absolutely nothing I can say to make him care. So it just leads to me yelling at him and taking away his food and calling him a fat*** whale (mean, I know, but the words don't even hit him no matter how harsh. and he calls me that too!). Then my parents come in and yell at me and tell me to leave him alone.

They know he eats unhealthy but they don't do anything about it. His farts are like a toxic gas that nearly choke me to death -- that's proof he's not clean on the inside. He doesn't go #2 regularly.

Today we ordered pizza. I ate 3 slices, feeling stuffed and guilty for eating so much. And my brother ate 8 slices. A WHOLE LARGE PIZZA BOX TO HIMSELF! Then just a couple minutes ago he went to go eat chocolate and I snatched it from him and smacked his hand. My parents yelled at me and here I am. Do they know death is looking at him in the face in the form of sugary, fatty foods?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO! This kid is so close to getting a heart disease or diabetes.  What are the dangers of him staying like this, and what can I do to stop him?

I know you are concerned about your brother and it sounds like he is on a destructive path and possibly depressed or bored. Does he have friends to hang out with? Have you tried talking seriously to your parents about this coming from a point of care and concern and not saying he's a whale?

No one likes to be put down and told they are a whale or controlled (you taking his food away) so that definately is not helping him. If anything it's hurting him and making him want to do it even more.

One of your goals for wanting to lose weight  on your profile says ; I don't want to be nagged at by my parents

Well i'm sure he doesn't want to be nagged by you although you are worried about him. Maybe stop nagging him about it and tell him you are very worried for his health and direct him to some reading on this site would help?

I hope it works out for him as your right if he doesn't get control now or help then he is setting up for a lifestyle of obesity.

There was a recent study that found people who have low self-esteem tend to gain weight. I'm sure you're worried about your brother, but calling him names and snatching his food is just making things worse. Tell your parents that you're worried, then let them take care of it. It's not your job, it's theirs.

Another thing--I have a brother who was short and very heavy around that age. Then he hit puberty, shot up and was incredibly thin. 150 and 5'4 means nothing at 12 years old.

I'm not saying that this is in any way healthy, but keep in mind that a lot of boys at that age are growing like weeds and do eat a lot. Seriously, the guys that I would hang out with could easily eat a pizza to themselves, plus like a crapload of regular soda, chips blah blah blah.

It's not healthy, but it's not that outrageous either.

He is a growing child. When I was his age, I ate like a pig too. I began losing all the weight when I was 17. Give him time. :)

The poor kid.  As everyone's suggesting, your actions aren't helping him in the slightest.  Imagine how you'd feel if the roles were reversed?  It's not that he doesn't care....  he's just young and other people should be caring for him.

Instead of being the bossy sister, try to encourage him to be more active in a postive, friendly way.  Go swimming or cycling and see if he'd like to come along, for example.  Or maybe check out if there are some fun activities for boys his age locally - team sports, scouting, drama groups - that he could join in.  As well as getting him moving about, it'll build his confidence if he's joining in with others.

What he eats is mum and dad's responsibility.  If they don't cook vegetables, he won't eat them.  Lots of children live in families like that & it's not his fault.  As well as talking to mum and dad about the whole family's diet, how about offering to cook everyone a nice healthy  supper from time to time?.... Walk the talk.  And get your brother helping in the kitchen.... make it fun.

My brother is the same. He actually mocks me when I eat healthfully and he TRIES as hard as he can NOT to eat well. He makes every possible comment and bad choice when it comes to food.

Also, he's EXTREMELY sedentary. Here's a typical day for him - no, I'm not kidding.

School Days

• 10:30am - Wakes up; he's homeschooled
• 10:30-11:00am - Waits for my mom; plays video games
• 11:00am - Eats breakfast... if you can call it that
• 11:30-1:30 - Watches TV & or plays video games
• 1:30 - Eats lunch
• 2:00 - Eats a snack and starts schoolwork (he lays on his bed while working)
• 5:00 - finishes schoolwork
• 5:30 - Has another snack
• 5:45 - Plays video games (again)
• 7:00 - Dinner
• 7:30 - Dessert
• 8:45-10:30 - Watches TV

Here's a typical menu -

Breakfast -

• Three Pillsbury biscuts
• Gravy made with cream, flour, and a few pieces of Bob Evans (super fatty) pork sausage
• A glass of orange juice (his only fruit)
• Scrambled eggs with cheese and butter

Snacks (eaten throughout the day as munchies) -

• 1 1/2 cups Captain Crunch
• 4 mini-bags of M&M's
• A piece of chocolate cheesecake
• A handfull of chocolate candies
• Several chocolate-filled Oreos
• A Steak N' Shake chocolate shake

Lunch -

• Steak N' Shake cheeseburger with TEN packets of ketchup
• Order of cheese fries with more ketchup
• A few saltine crackers
• A glass of chocolate milk

Dinner -

• Pepperidge Farm's Chicken Pot Pie (the whole thing)
• Chocolate milk (all he ever drinks)
• Crackers and peanut butter
• A few carrot sticks... in ranch dressing

Well there you have it. I doubt anyone eats much worse than that.

It's good you're worried for his health but smacking his hand and telling him off isn't going to do him or you any favours. Gi-Jane's suggestions are fantastic: get him involved or aim to get him involved in an activity that will see him not only more active but also interacting with others. You also have to consider that he is only 12, and that boys have their growth spurts later on than girls do. He's 5'4 now - and he's 12. I would really not be surprised if he suddenly shoots up a few inches. Unless your family is genetically all quite short.

Furthermore: "Fat--- whale"? You do realise you're going to be feeding low self-esteem, right? Okay, his eating habits are bad. But is that REALLY called for? :| Whether or not he calls you it back, he's 12, and a boy. Not exactly the epitome of maturity. Try setting an example.

Speaking of maturity, how about you sit your parents down and discuss it with them civilly? You don't have to demand that there never ever be any pizza or biscuits in the house again and of course, I would not recommend that at all as you are both still young and need variety of all kinds in your diet. But try to suggest they bring in some more fruit and vegetables, express your concern, and if desired mention your worry about the smell your brother leaves behind. Admittedly, of all your post, that's the bit that got me; if your brother is not going regularly, he's likely not eating enough fibre. Bad side effect of a largely processed and refined diet.

And at the end of the day remember all you can give is advice. You cannot force him to change.

Zeb: I'd relay to you what my Dad eats and drinks in a day but this isn't a competition. Lol.

You mean well... but you can't control what another person eats unless they're your child (and even then your window of opportunity is only about ten years before they can get their own food elsewhere!) Calling your brother names and snatching food from his hands isn't going to do ANYTHING to help him. Quite the opposite - how'd you like somebody to do that to you? Give him a break. He's only twelve which means he's still got an awful lot of growing to do. And ALL teenage boys are bottomless pits, it's just the way they're made! (btw, being 5'4" at 12 suggests he's going to be TALL by the time he finishes adolescence...) Talk to your parents about physical activity rather than nagging about diet - maybe they could encourage him to join a sports team of some sort.

i think you need to find a better approach than your current one. calling him a fat whale and slapping food from his hands is really not going to help. my sister used to do the same things to me when i was a child, and when i grew up i developed an eating disorder and a constant mindset that i was a freak or deformed or something, and a good chunk of that is because of the way she used to treat me.

i know you care, but you need to be understanding. in the grand scheme of it all, everyone chooses their own path.. so, if your little bro doesn't want to lose weight or eat healthy, you can't make him. everyone needs to want to lose weight for themselves and not just to make their older sister get off their back.

He'd benefit from some kind of sports activity, even if it's something not too common, like bowling or tennis. He's probably going to grow a lot taller, and that'll even out his weight as long as his gaining slows down - which it will with physical activity, assuming he doesn't eat more to compensate.

My brother was kind of fat at 11-12 and now at 15 he's lean and almost skinny. Mostly from playing sports and growing about six inches while only gaining a little bit of weight.

I'm with Eerica. My older sister did what you are doing to me when I was that young and I developed an eating disorder and other various issues.

I'm with everyone else who suggested a different approach. I also have a young brother who has less than desirable eating habits. He turned 15 this past year and has reached the age of wanting to have muscles and be 'buff'. Like your brother, he is still growing and his energy expenditure is incredible!

We came to visit me for a month last year (I live in a different country) and I decided to introduce him to my way of eating - well balanced, healthy, nutritious food - and wouldn't you know it that he is now practicing the same eating habits at home with my parents, even telling them what they need to eat! He has been losing weight almost effortlessly by changing his eating habits and increasing his activity level.

Cut your little brother some slack. He is still very young and growing. Yes, the bad eating habits need to be addressed sooner rather than later but in a way different to what you are doing now. Speak with your parents about your concerns and offer positive suggestions as opposed to making negative remarks that will only make them get defensive. And please stop calling your brother names. I am sure you know better.

I appreciate the advice from everyone. And I understand that he is still growing, but he is not changing his eating or exercise habits ever. Of that I am sure.

I ask him to walk around the neighborhood with me, and he never wants to. He doesn't want to go to the gym with me and my older brother. He doesn't want to play football or any other sports. All he does is stay on the computer for probably 15 out of the 24 hours of the day playing Runescape. He hates any form of exercise, moving around, or anything that is away from the computer.

When my parents make healthy food, he doesn't eat it. Sometimes my mom has to force it into his mouth. But she gets fed up with him and let's him eat whatever he wants. If he doesn't get the food he wants, he cries.

I will not believe that we just have to cut him some slack, and soon he'll know better. He won't. He is not changing for the life of him. Obviously no one here would know that.

I think the whole pizza he ate really scares me. 2000 calories, 72 grams of fat, 36 grams of saturated fat. Plus whatever else he ate that day. He sneaks food around so we won't know. One time I hid a whole large zip-lock bag of M&Ms, he found them and ate them all.

I think he needs to see a nutritionist.

If he is 12 and already sneaking food from his family, I think he needs a therapist.

My brother also used to spend countless hours playing runescape but that has changed over the course of last year. He was diagnosed with ADD, depression, and social anxiety at a very young age and is getting better with the help of a therapist and from the support we provide him as a family.

Your brother is shying away from actual human interaction because he likely finds comfort and acceptance in the virtual runescape community, something he probably does not have in real life. My brother felt the same way. I really think there is more to this than food and his weight.

not to offend, i know you care for him, but you're prob making him feel worse.

Yeah it doesn't seem like he cares, but he prob does. plus he has room to grow yet, guys start growing again when they hit puberty 10-14. i wouldn't worry about it too much.

like others have mentioned, i too have had siblings/parents tell me i shouldn't eat something, tell me i'm gonna be like this person if i don't stop, this lead me to a diet/binge cycle. and other problems.

Better to just mind your own business and leave him alone.

He's 12 years old.  Do you know what height he'll be when he's 20? Hmm?

No, I didn't think so.

My brother was even heavier for his height at that age and he's now 190 cms tall and skinny as a rail.

Again, he's 12, leave him alone.

Alright, I understand you are worried sick over your little brothers health and want to help him feel healthier, stronger, and happier. But, I noticed every description you've given about HIS choices gives off a very tyranical vibe and makes it seem as though your brother is doing something WRONG.

I'm sorry to break it to you, but your little brother isnt doing a thing wrong. HIS choices may or may not be hurting HIM in the long run but the fact that he is eating at all is something much better than what your constant belittling may give him in the long run. Think about the lasting impression you are giving him. 12 years old is a very socially receptive age, when most people begin to question who they are and where the fit in the social world, and when EVERYONE feels socially akward at some point in time. Right now, it seems like you are doing more damage to him (as a mind, as a person, as a soul) than any amount of junk food could. I'm begging you to stop and look at the situation with compassion before you and your famliy leave a lasting dent in his psyche that could never heal.

I apologize if my post seems to attack, I feel very strongly about how you are treating your little brother as my family treated me the same at the same time in my life and it made me waste years I could have spent being alive. Think about what you are doing.