I'm not anorexic, the therapist said.

I went to a eating disorder therapist, at the urging of my friends and family. I'm 5'4", 112 lbs. Been staying about here, though I can fluctuate a couple of pounds either way.

But when I went to the therapist, the bottom line was that she couldn't give me the diagnosis of being anorexic, or really having a eating disorder. I did have some symptoms, but I didn't meet all of them, especially the main one: I'm not severely underweight. I also haven't lost my periods, I don't take diet pills, laxatives, I don't binge/purge. And I eat enough to get by.

The therapist just thought I was depressed, something everyone goes through. She said I could go to group eating disorder meetings if I wanted to.

So seeing the therapist - not that helpful. I kinda felt stupid. Like I'm trying to be anorexic, but apparently, I'm not quite there, I need to lose some more weight.

My thought of going to the therapist was that I would get help before I get to the dangerous stage, stop before I do become fully anorexic.

I guess now I'm a little confused. My friends and family think I have a problem. I think I may have a problem, but now because of the therapist, I'm thinking more that I'm fine. I can stay where I am.

I am afraid of gaining weight. Because today's Thanksgiving, I went and did 90 minutes of cardio. But then I'm not even sure I'm going to eat much. When I told the therapist, I have this habit of exercising a lot and the fear of gaining weight, she said that was normal.

My friends and family want me to see a different therapist. Is that necessary? What would that do? Just make me feel stupid again?

Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks. Hope everyone has a good Thanksgiving.

I think your therapist is probably right. But of course you can go see another one is you are still feeling like you need to. But it is good to exercise and your weight is pretty good for someone of your height. Believe me, I've seen exercise anorexics at the gym where their clothes are just hanging off of them and I cringe seeing them like that just completely unaware of their poor self image. But from what I hear, you don't really sound like those people that I've seen.

If you still feel like you're too skinny, keep exercising at the same rate that you are and drink lost of milkshakes (a proven safe way for those underweight to gain some poundage). But once again, you sound perfect like you are! Depression is something that happens to almost everyone at some point. Most likely your therapist is correct in that analysis also so I would continue seeking professional help on ways to combat that issue.

Life loves you and you should love life!!! Feel free to join my group for further support: http://caloriecount.about.com/d-t-angry-deter mined-g290

Good luck :)

I can totally relate to this. When I saw my first ED team (this was a few years ago) I got on the scale for the first time, and the woman looked at me and said 'Oh, gosh, you're not really underweight, we have some girls here weighing little over six stone!' (I'm 5'7 and a half)

Nine months later I was in hospital, weighing about 1lb more than six stone and being checked out for heart problems.

The biggest mistake doctors make is not catching it early enough, then making an already vulnerable person feel that they aren't 'sick enough' thence pushing them to get sicker.

Honey, you have come a long way in recognising you have a problem and I'm proud of you. May I suggest the weight gainers thread? I know you don't *technically* want to gain but there are a lot of people there who are in recovery and it might do you some good just to have a browse through the threads, particularly the 'what did you eat today' one to get some ideas about recovery diets etc.

Guys, it's not going to help telling this girl that her weight is 'pretty good' or 'normal' - I know your intentions are good, but you don't have to be about to drop dead from emaciation to be suffering badly in your head. Often people are at their worst when their weight isn't life threatening because that's when the feelings and emotions are still present. If she says she needs help and she feels she needs help then she needs help. End of. And she's been so brave to admit in and ask for it. *hugs*

I think part of the diagnostic criteria for Anorexia is a BMI of under 17.5 so it is sort of understandable that your doctor didn't want to immediately diagnose you with an eating disorder. However, just because a person's weight is OK doesn't mean that they are mentally healthy and I wish that more people understood this. EDNOS is an eating disorder you might want to research.

For you (and others around you) to even be questioning your health is a sign that there is something wrong. You know yourself better than anyone else, and if YOU think that you have a problem of any kind then the best thing you can do is go out of your way to get the help that you need to recover. If this means seeing a different therapist, I think you should do it. 

Don't let this discourage you from recovery. Being told you're "not underweight enough to have an eating disorder" is such a potentially damaging thing, that could trigger you to become more unwell just to attain a diagnosis. Don't fall into this trap. You've already made a huge positive step by realizing you have a problem, and now you need to do everything you can to get healthy. 

Good luck xxx Message me any time if you need support, I'll be happy to try and help you.

Congratulations on going to a therapist, and being able  to admit you have a problem. You do have a problem. An eating disorder is not only characterized as being underweight, but as the other things you said: having an irrational fear of eating and gaining weight.

Go see an eating disorder specialist and tell them the reasons your family is concerned,  and why you are concerned. You are ABSOLUTELY right that you should get treatment before you meet all the statistical requirements of anorexia or bulimia. Right now it sounds like you have ED-NOS (ED not otherwise specified). It only took me two months to go from ED-NOS to Anorexia, and I had alot further to go than you.

Yes,it's good to exercise, yotaka, and yes, her weight is not too low according to BMI (not that anyone with half a brain would assume that says ANYTHING about your health), but anything can be disordered if you have a disordered mindset. It shows great ignorance on your part to assume that because the OP doesn't fit your definition of an anorectic she isn't. If someone had said to me what you said to her after I finally racked up the courage to see a therapist, I would have felt really discouraged.

So go find another therapist, and trust your instincts. It is not right for a therapist to make you feel stupid, and it usually takes a few tries to find the right therapist. Keep in mind, your family and you know you alot better than some therapist who saw you for an hour, one time. Try to enjoy thanksgiving for what it is: a chance to be with people you love and give thanks for what you have, rather than what it has become. 

The biggest mistake doctors make is not catching it early enough, then making an already vulnerable person feel that they aren't 'sick enough' thence pushing them to get sicker.

 

I agree!
There are some doctors who will be helpful, and others who are actually pretty ignorant. Some you'll love, and others you'll have so much contempt for [from my experiences anyway]. Last summer, I was 108 pounds at 5'4", and my pediatrician praised me for my weight loss. Later in the year, when I was 90-something pounds and already gaining weight with a nutritionist, the same pediatrician disagnosed me with anorexia. Pfft! Like splenda_sweet said, a therapist should NEVER make you feel stupid!

I think the most important consideration is that YOU think you need help, not whether the therapist thinks you do.  If you feel something isn't right, then stick with that and get help anyway.  All the info you can get (therapist, doctor, etc.) will help you make the best choices for yourself.

I spent 3 years with major depressive disorder thinking "if I could just be mentally strong enough, I could get over this."  I forever lost those 3 years of my life.  When I realized that, I was angry and sorry for myself for a long time.

I nearly lost my job and marriage because of my illness.  When I finally got good help and on medication, I got better, but it took a lot of work and time.  But now I find I am much stronger than some of my friends/co-workers because I've had to learn to face my true self and deal with even dark parts of me.  I still have bad streaks, about once a year, and thankfully I have a doctor who understands the patterns of the ups and downs.  I can call him any time.  I used to see him several times a week, then weekly, then 2x a month, then monthly for along time.  Now I only see him once every 3 months, but I can still call him if something feels not right.

So, do not delay, you may really regret it later, in ways you don't even know now.  Even if you don't get full blown anorexia or something, you will learn a lot about yourself and learn how to be stronger.

wow, that is definitely a slap in the face from the therapist.  That b*tch shouldn't be practicing in my opinion.  Pardon my language, but I find it infuriating that she would tell you that it isn't an eating disorder, but rather depression & is basically ignoring what you have to say--especially since you are the patient trusting in her expertise.  I agree with your family & friends that you should see a different therapist.  (The one you saw recently needs to have her head examined!).

I think it is fantastic that you made the step to see a therapist. You saw/felt something wasn't right and decided to do something to make it better. However, I sense you may not have felt comfortable with the first therapist you saw. Simply because she cannot diagnose you as anorexic, however, doesn't necessarily mean you cannot get help.  What is a diagnosis? It is a label. A diagnosis is not an end in itself. I know that it doesn't take a diagnosis to get you the help you need...

You could choose to go back to the first therapist you visited, discuss your maladaptive behaviors/thoughts/patterns and ways to make positive changes, or you might have better luck developing a good relationship with a different therapist. Either way, it is your choice... I encourage you listen to your instincts and loved ones and continue seeking assistance. Relationship is a crucial key for therapy.

i had this happen to me also, next thing i was in hospital with a tube. See a differnt therapist and don't stop seeing one. Once you find one you connect with it will help you sort out any problem areas in your life.
As far as the weight is concerned disrodered eating is still a problem and the first signs of an ED like anorexia, so good on you for seeking help and trust your family and friends and do not push them away.
the therapist has known you for what? an hour? and your family and friends have known you your whole life and if they think something is wrong chances are there is.
best wishes and don't think you need a 'label' like anorexia believe me its so overated.

Thanks for the replies everyone.

I will think about seeing another therapist. This was my first time seeking any type of therapy, and it did take a lot for me to go. I'm not really sure that I have a problem, and seeing that therapist just affirmed that I don't have an ED. To be honest, now I'm really apprehensive about seeing another therapist.

I think a problem I have now is being objective of my body/weight. I've had people say I look too thin, and I've had people say I look fine.

One of the questions the therapist asked me was what did I think was my ideal weight? I couldn't really answer her, I'm not sure. If you had asked me a couple of months ago, I think I would have said 117-120; now I think that's heavy for me. I'm at about 112 lbs, and I have been down to 110.

I'm an athlete, I play a lot of competitive tennis and I run 5k-10k races. I know if I don't eat enough, I get weak quickly. I have gotten muscle cramps and have come close to passing out from not eating enough. I exercise a lot, sometimes 5-6 hours a day.

So I do eat. Which is probably why the therapist didn't think I have an ED. The therapist also asked if I think I have a problem, if I think I have an ED. I told her I'm not sure; that's why I was there. And then she pretty much told me I'm normal, I may have some symptoms, but everyone does at some point in their lives, especially when they're stressed.

The therapist said I could go to the group meetings, but I didn't go. I'm not sure it's a good idea, because I'm just going to see people who are really, really thin, I'll see that I'm not that thin, and it'll just tell me that I don't have the same problem that they have. I know, I'm just assuming, and I should try it. But the therapist said there will be people there who don't eat at all, or maybe they only eating a cube of cheese or a bite of egg a day.

I know I don't want to get to that point. I am struggling a bit with my body/weight issues now. I don't want to gain weight at all... and sometimes I think it wouldn't hurt if I lost a couple of lbs.

I don't know... I'm confused about all this.

To clear something up about my post since some people seem to think I have given bad advice...

I never said mydog8it doesn't have an ED, I just said that I don't think she does.  Then I went on to say that if she feels like she needs to she should go on and try another therapist.

Addictions and EDs work much the same in that getting help has to start with the recognition of having a problem. Obviously, mydog8it has recognized that she may have a problem. That's great! That's why she went to a therapist. The therapist gave her an opinion, right or wrong who knows. It is up to mydog8it if she wants to get a second opinion, a road I aways advocate considering I am a person who doesn't think a doctor's or therapist's opinion is God.

Look, the rest of my opinion is just speaking from experience. I live in one of the most well known cities that have a population that is anorexic prone, so I have seen a lot of people who are anorexic and a lot of active people who are just skinny. mydog8it seems really really active and might just be giving in to what other people are saying about her being "too skinny" rather than what she really believes. Family and friends have a right to be concerned and may want you to seek help, which you probably should if you think they may be right, but that doesn't mean they are right either.

What I am trying to say is that sometimes a problem isn't soley vested "having a problem". I've known somone diagnosed with an ED, with OCD, ADHD, and slight mental retardation all at the same time. I knew that person well enough to know that those diagnoses were just totally bogas. He just needed to enjoy life more and stop thinking that he was just a kid with a bunch of problems. He is living a happier life now.

But just because he didn't have a problem, I am not saying that mydog8it does not. I would NEVER discourage someone from seeking therapy if they had any inclination that they might need it. That would be indeed ignorance.

I am leaving this thread and hope that might have cleared things up a bit but if you still don't agree with me for whatever reason then oh well. Good luck mydog8it! I do hope you do seek a different therapist so that you can finally find out what is really going on for yourself. The path of self discovery is a great thing and no one can help the self like the self though indeed it is essential to have someone push you in the right direction. Hopefully the right therapist will be this person for you. =)

I want to encourage you to not be discouraged by what the first therapist said. I was diagnosed with anorexia (purging subtype) at the age of 15. Since then my weight has fluctuated a lot but at no point could I say that just because my weight was normal that I was no longer suffering. I have dealt with my share of ignorant doctors. I know that technically to have AN you have to have a BMI of under 17.5 but just because you don't, does not mean you do not have eating issues and that you are "normal". I think it's awful that she said that about some  of the anorexics she knows only eating a bite of food a day. That is such a stereotype.  There is no criterion for an eating disorder that says you have to have X calories a day. Please do not feel like you have to prove anything to anyone. Keep looking until you find a therapist who's the right fit and who will take what you are saying seriously (it sounds like this one didn't).

Btw, I think it is great that you are wanting to be proactive and get help. You know that something is not right, and you deserve a therapist who respects that and isn't dismissive. I know this is a long reply but ignorant people make me mad. I really hope you find the help that you need. Good luck and God bless.