I'm having an awful day

I've made my changes, and I've been going strong for about a week now.  I've lost about 4 lbs (strangely enough - I know its more than the recommended, but I promise it wasn't intentional).  I'm finding photos of myself from times that I go out dancing that are posted online, and I feel so fat compared to the rest of the women around me.

I live in a city that's extremely health conscious, and I know that this is only the beginning of a big change....but I can't help but feel kind of bad about myself when I see myself trying to be sexy - but not really looking how I think I look.

Does anyone else have these days?  If so, what do you tell yourself to keep from letting the bad mood take over? 

I'm really trying to not take it out on my friends or other people that love me and are trying hard to help.

I do that.  Like you, I have lost a fair amount of weight and look so much better than I did that sometimes I forget I still have a ways to go.  I put on something that is just too tight or shows the wrong stuff and then feel really fat again.  I sometimes then put on my "fat clothes", stuff I used to wear to remind me that I have made progress and then dress in something more flattering.

I do that, too. Unfortunately, we're our own worst critics most of the time. =/

When I see an unflattering photo, I try to look through older ones and look at the progress I've made.

Original Post by kenz0r:

I can't help but feel kind of bad about myself when I see myself trying to be sexy - but not really looking how I think I look.

 Few people look exactly how they think they look.  Everyone has at some time caught their reflection unexpectedly in a shop window and thought 'is that really me?'.  Actress Dame Judi Dench is on record as saying that she doesn't like seeing her films because she knows when she walked on set she was a gorgeous willowy young thing... not the slightly dumpy older woman that appears on the screen

Either learn to live with your true image and dress to make the most of what you've got...  or you have to get yourself out of environments where all that matters is appearance..... find places and people that value intelligence, personality, etc.

KenZor-- I look at your picture, and what I see is a beautiful young woman, who looks quite fit.  I am a 43 year old woman, who weighs 200 lbs, down from 230.  I will never look as good as you do, and you know what, that's ok.  I don't need to look as lovely as you, I just want to look as good as my own self can look.  I got down to 175 before I had a very stupid backslide, and you know, I looked good!  Ok, so I was no beauty queen, but I looked good, I felt good, and I felt sexier than I had in years.  And it showed.  I started getting a lot of attention from men around me, which shocked me.  And I got more attention from my fella as well, which was delightful.  (we've been together 16 years, he's my sweetie!)  But I still wasn't a beauty queen.  What I was, was a confident woman who felt good about herself.

Now everyone, even supermodels, I imagine, has days when they feel like the ugliest troll in room.  That's probably due more to our hormones ups and downs than anything else.  But there's nothing sexier than a woman who feels good about herself, no matter what her looks or weight.  I have a friend, and she's a big girl, who is 50, and she is the sexiest woman I've ever met.  She gets good looking 20 year olds hitting on her when she goes out.  So my advice to you is to work on your self confidence.  Try to stop comparing yourself to others.  There will always be women both better looking and not as pretty as you.  Concentrate on being the best you you can be.  That's all that can be asked of anyone.

I think it's also important to remember that photos don't capture the essence of a person very well sometimes.  If you thought you looked attractive and sexy, chances are that other people around you thought that too, because there's a lot more that goes into being attractive (how you move, how you talk, what you say, etc.) than can be captured in a photo. 

You look gorgeous!  I think it's funny that you say you live in a city that's so very health conscious.. Sounds perfect for you because.. Aren't you, too, very health conscious?  How awesome to live in a city where healthy and nutritional choices are at your fingertips (this is coming from a girl in Philadelphia.. cheesesteak and tastycake central haha)!

I understand what you're saying though in that when you "feel" fat or unattractive.. it can sort of spiral out of control and you end up just grouching alone for days by yourself.. or bringing other people down.

When this happens to me I usually try to do something outside so I don't feel trapped in the unhappy state.  I'll go for a walk or take a yoga class.  You'll get out of your funk!  Just remember how far you've come and how every day, bit by bit,  you can get to your goal.. It's not going to happen overnight but it will happen :)

-Dana