I'm burning how much?!

Dieting aside and until I can learn to let go of calorie counting (sometimes I think it just ends up back firing because I've, sadly, stopped listening to my body because of it), I would just like to know how many calories I can maintain on. 

The struggle:

I gained 5-10lbs this winter and have been struggling to get it off since with an intake average of about 1,500-1,700 calories- high, but I tend to be pretty active (walking every day, burning about 450 cals at the gym 3-4 days a week, usually cleaning or something at home, not to mention random hiking and whatnot). 

Most web sites estimate my BMR at 1,400, RMR closer to 1,300, and if I add in all of the activities I usually end up around 1,800 to 2,000+.  I'm just really confused because last year I lost weight very easily eating this amount (I had a pretty active job, but wasn't going to the gym) and this year...eh, not so much luck.  The real killer is that I have less energy than I did being more active and eating less!!!  Could this be because my eating habbits have become more sparatic?  Does my body just hate me now?! What gives?!

I am guessing that somehow you tricked your metabolic engine into burning fewer calories.  Since you are pretty active, I would think a minimum of 1800 calories would still allow  you to lose weight.  The fact that you have less energy might be a sign that you need to change your eating habits a bit.  What worked for me, and I got these ideas off several sites--I didn't come up with them myself--are:

1) Drink a 20 oz or so glass of water each morning to start your day.

2) Eat a healthy, full-protein breakfast each morning.

3) Eat 5-7 smaller meals/snacks during the course of the day, choosing from things like fruits, nuts, vegetables, lean meat/fish, lentils, legumes, a potato, beans, whole grains, etc., etc.

4) Don't eat late at night--but eat some protein after physical activity, such as some nuts or some salmon or a cup of beans.

I think it sounds as if you are physically active, so I would definitely think 1800 calories could be a minimum and you still might lose some weight.  If you cut back to, say, as low as 1650, I would think that would be as low as you wanted to go, and that might be too low.  I don't know enough about it to make a professional analysis, but I do think if you get your metabolism going right, you can lose a few pounds slowly and healthy.