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I'm CRYING so hard right now.....

my breakfast... omg i dont know what happened to me........

 

i had 2 large cupcakes and 2 large chunks of the fattiest icecream cake 2 waffles and 2 large apples....

thats like 1200 calories @ 7 oclock...

 

WHAT HAPPENED TO ME. I'm CRYING cause i feel like i'm loosing control.. and my main goal toa  healthy life :(

 

i wanted to gain weight and all that stuff but what happened today?
mayabe helpful if you read my other topic

i feel like i'm losign control of a healthy life i wanted. i feel so sick..
i wasnt even EJOYING eating those things. the whole time i was thinking of regretting it. but i kept on going.

 

could i turn into binging???? i hear some ppl do and they gain TONS of weight..

I understand how you feel. I have been advised to gain some pounds and I went from being totally restrictive with what I eat to eating out of control and binging on unhealthy foods like cakes, cookies, ice cream, you name it. I would eat to the point of feeling very uncomfortable and my body would not let me stop. Then, afterwards, I felt like crap. I did this for about a week or so straight and over exercised to make up for it. I am still resistant to gain some weight.

Now, one trick I use on myself when I have the urge to binge is think about how I felt afterwards. The terrible, bloated feeling and the numbness in the throat reminds me of the price I pay when I eat even though I am not hungry (eating for boredom, stress emotions). Listen to your body and it will tell you when it is hungry and when it is full. Dont eat until you're full, eat so that the hunger goes away. AND dont wait until you're starving to eat, cause that sets up a binge right there. Good luck- here to talk if you need to! :)

"could i turn into binging???? i hear some ppl do and they gain TONS of weight"

wow....cud u get out of ur me me me bubble and realise that those who binge are strugglin and suffering too and dont need ur judgements and anal comments like that .

if u binge its coz u restrict, or are planning to restrict. stop restricting and the binging will ease. so u better start eating those "fatty'' healthy foods.

not normally as cutting as that, but how dare u come onto a site like this  and make that comment. they are in exactly the same pain as u.

get over urself

Yeah, illusion..... i thougt gaining was easy b/c  i love to eat....
i was wrong. its soo hard. especially when i feel like i'm losing controli'll try to remember this feeling, but i DO remember this feeling and i DID as i was eating. it's so hard to stop going for another bite though, even if i wasnt enjoying it.  and you do have a point about the bordom/ stress stuff. listing tothe body's hard XD

 

Fidget, it's not like iw as trying to be offensive/ judgemental. Sorry if i got a little too upset and upset you too.
i now thereare people like me here, and thats why i came.... so i can see how other people can handle it. and i can't help but whine and comlain and let outmy feelings online once in a while.
w/e..... i got self-centered....

and dont worry.... i do eat "fatty" healthy food if you saw my other topic.
and i can't just "stop restricting".... this whole time, i think i've had a portion disortion thing, where i actually overestimaged everything i ate b/c i was trying to be healthy, lol.
isnt it a fact if you eat too much too often you gain weight?....... i just dont want to gain too quickly.. i get scared. i'm scared right now. and i like mymememe bubble right now or just cant get out of it

 

but couldn't i start beinging? esp. when i'm STILL thinking about what i'm eating as i try to gain weight? i keep thinking, oh its okay, i still need to eat. but at the same time, idon't want to but i can't help myself.
hows it judgemental/ anal?......

 

I think Fidget was just trying to say that for those who do suffer from BED, making comments like "gain TONS of weight" are really hurtful. I suffer from binging and when I read that it was hard for me to skip over it. Just remember that even though you're scared of binging and the consequences of it, that there are people on here who have to struggle with it on a daily basis--just be sensative to that, as you would want us to be sensative to you.

Keep your chin up :)

What's happening is that you're eating more.  OK so you didn't pick the healthiest of foods this time but really that's not a major problem.  If you ate waffles and ice-cream every day for breakfast you might start to feel a little queasy.  If you change your big breakfast to more traditional, healthy fare.... cereals, bacon, eggs, toast, fruit smoothies.... then your goal of gaining weight will come that much closer and you'll feel better at the same time.  

I don't have any experience with trying to gain weight because I've never been in the situation where I needed to, but it sounds like a scary place to be.  It also sounds like you're walking a delicate line; needing to gain weight but to do so you definately don't need to binge.  Eating more to gain weight is not the same as binging; if you binge you lose control and it is directly connected to your emotions.  It sounds like this happened to you this morning?

I havent binged for 12 days now, which for me is a big deal. The best thing I can tell you is that I started getting better once I stopped feeling sorry for myself.  You've just gotta stick it out, without food.  You may feel crappy in the short run if you're craving eating, but in the long run (even by the end of the day) it feels so good.

Edit: without BINGING, not without any food!!

Also its good that you recognized this so early ~ I'd say you have a better chance of staying on a healthy path that way =]

Original Post by fidget84:

"could i turn into binging???? i hear some ppl do and they gain TONS of weight"



get over urself

i'm sorry, but i have to say something now. i;ve noticed a few of your posts, and they're all with this 'get over yourself' attitude, like that's something to be proud of, belittling someone's opinion. you need to learn how to get over yourself for a start, and how to spell. stop belittling people's opinions, and this girl for example, who's had a horrific binge and is feeling bad for it. she doesn't need your opinion if it's not a nice one. my great-grandad used to say if you've got nothing nice to say, don't say it all, and especially when it's degrading and you constantly come across as arrogant.

Original Post by helphelpskinny:

 

Fidget, it's not like iw as trying to be offensive/ judgemental. Sorry if i got a little too upset and upset you too.
i now thereare people like me here, and thats why i came.... so i can see how other people can handle it. and i can't help but whine and comlain and let outmy feelings online once in a while.
w/e..... i got self-centered....

you didn't become self-centred, don't worry about it! aren't you allowed to think of yourself for once? i hate this whole self centred thing, and how people take a dislike to it. everyone's self centred whether they admit to it or not. who doesn't think about themselves for at least a minute a day? it's natural. and you have a right to post your concerns, as do i, and as does fidget, so your fine :)

and dont worry about this binging thing, just try not to let it happen again. i cant say much more on the fact, other than it's true, restriction makes binging happen more. i always find, or found, i binged more when i went out, when something exciting happened, when i was happy, or when i was nervous. emotional binging, perhaps. but i noticed the problem early and i'm trying to nip it in the bud. so it's good you've realised the problem. now start a fresh tomorrow morning, and maybe have some orange juice, toast, or some cereal or something for breakfast, and have a good dieting day with lots of nice foods and things, and then you'll wake up the morrow after that, and feel so much better. it always works for me, and you feel more in control as each day passes.

as it happens, i went out on a night out last night and had a ton of alcohol and i feel a bit guilty today. but i'm just thinking, it was a one-off, and fortunately, i didn't give in to my sweet tooth on the way home at takeaways and train station cafes when i needed to sober up. i waited till i got home, and then had some soup. so i feel tons better than i would have done if i'd've had the muffins at the lemon tree, or a f*****g chinese takeaway.

AND, i dont know if you believe in the bible or not, but there is a bible quote which i'm actually getting tatooed - dont worry, i'm not going to bloody preach, lol - but it is 'dont worry about tomorrow, as tomorrow will worry about itself. each day has enough trouble of it's own'. :) xx.

agelikiaddiction... i dont like u....u know why.... coz u make silly remarks like "i dont usually eat over 1000 cals and thats ok!! lah lah lah, im an idiot..."

my sympathies are with the OP, coz iv ben there. (ul find urself there too, with ur wonderful calorific intake). BUT anorexia can be an incredibly consuming condition, where u take no account of anyones feelings except ur own. i found that comment hurtful and judgemental.

its not my intention to be degrading, but im sick of seeing posts, of great restriction and consequent binge. iv done it often enough. ppl who'v gained weight bcoz of it are as vulnerabl and emotionally raw s those strugglin with the fear of weight gain except their fears hav ben realised. so u know i will vent at a comment like that if im hurt by it.

HELPSKINNY, i know ur strugglin, i ben in and out and through wher u are. thank u for ur apology, i apologise if i overstepped the mark. msg me if u would like some advice re getting the food on track.

agelikiaddiction u sort ur own eating habits out or at least recognise that u'v a prob... then dish out watever advice u want

ouch if you dont like someone maybe you should message them about it.

helphelpskinny obviously didnt mean to say anything offensive, and i think even if you do have a BED its your choice whether you want to take it as an offense. i'd like to uhh summarize a passage in the bible, it basically says : dont be offended by what people say, either theyre doing it on purpose to make u mad, so being offended will only do what they want and give them their attention, or else they arent trying to offend you so STFU and GTFO the internet because theres no reason to make a big deal out of an accident. quit being so prideful. thats how i take it anyway.

as for the binge... dont worry so much :))) cuz it is only one day! and it could have been soo much worse, you should be happy that you didn't got 7,000 cal or something, or even 3000, and you wont even go over your calories necessarily! and if you do im betting its by an insignificant amount. its scary to lose control. i dont think i even had a binging problem but im really prone to emotional eating, and when i went of some meds that kept me underweight i know EXCATLY that feeling, i felt like i was going to explode i ate so much and yet there i was eating more hehe. i dont think you're going to gain a ton of weight, what i do is just think of something else to do.. anything and just use all my willpower to leave the kitchen.. not allow myself to START eating or else i wont stop sometimes.

also when im feeling down or something or out of control, i measure my food exactly, weigh it and prepare it 100% then clean up after myself and THEN i sit down and eat only whats on my plate, then leave the kithcen. that way i dont like make more or get tempted to have more while i am right there. im usually not hungry after i eat.. soo :p

maybe my techniques arent hardcore enough lol good luck and im soo sorry :(

and also haha, just because you arent perfect doesnt mean you cant give helpful advise or support, <1000 isnt good tho lol

Original Post by fidget84 :

"could i turn into binging???? i hear some ppl do and they gain TONS of weight"

wow....cud u get out of ur me me me bubble and realise that those who binge are strugglin and suffering too and dont need ur judgements and anal comments like that .

if u binge its coz u restrict, or are planning to restrict. stop restricting and the binging will ease. so u better start eating those "fatty'' healthy foods.

not normally as cutting as that, but how dare u come onto a site like this  and make that comment. they are in exactly the same pain as u.

get over urself

I agree with what fidget is saying, but I don't agree with how she said it. That was hurtful of you to say; just because someone may have BED, doesn't mean they gain "TONS" of weight. And even if they do, they are in JUST as much pain as you. Maybe it came out wrong, maybe it didn't, but I must say that you offended me there.

yo.... skinny.. i read thru that again.... i see ther was nothin malicious about ur comment, i recall at various stages of fear and panic of ED sayn stuff i didn mean or think thru.... i tink our battle has sizzled....

NETKR.....if i feel something i feel it. full stop. dont tel me how to r not to feel.... "quit being so prideful"......proud mayb?? as opposed to a word that doesn exist??? n to be honest i dont think reccommending ppl to weigh their food to the n-th degree(especially some one with an eating disord) is entirely helpful... she's tryn to normalise eating patterns and behaviour. food scales can be as damagin and obsessive as the weight scales.

healthisinplease why in stupiditys good name would you open a topic that has been closed for almost a year?? you know nothing about me or my intellectual capacity so why dont you shut up? or post about something worthwhile. im well aware how to spell thank you.

and DO NOT tell me to shut up again. ****

Ahhhh...Isn't life so random?

Healthisinplease: I am sorry, but what was the point of reviving a thread so old to say something so painfully rude? Fidget is extremely smart and capable, and spelling speaks nothing of her intellect as she has said herself. Would you devalue a beautiful piece of poetry just because someone reading it has a lisp or a stammer or other speech impediment? No. So why call someone out on their spelling?

What you have contributed is pointless and shallow and clearly shows you read the surface, not the underlying messages in things. If you had read past the "spelling errors" you would have seen that Fidget made an apology after misreading. The original poster was panicked, afraid, and could have possibly made a very insensitive comment about binge eating being like a choice rather than a debilitating problem.

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