I'm jealous of my friend....

Hey, I have a HUGH problem. I was exercise bulimic last year and now I'm back to normal. I binge eating before and now I'm losing some extra weight. But I'm doing it right this time. 

Here is the thing. My friend wanted to lose weight. She asked me   *how to be a bulimic* and she start exercise sooooo much, eat soooo little, and bragging about food and her diet all the time. And she is very rude, such as at the birthday party, she would say "ew, pizza is sooo gross, how can you guys eat that!! " and act like she was gonna throw up.

I'm telling the teacher about her condition right now, but I am the one who feel really uncomfortable about my weight lost. I'm sort of jealous that she has lost so much weight, but I want to lost weight the right way.

This saturday, I have a dinner with her and other friends. I will be the one who cook and I'm afraid to be having dinner with her!!! Any help??!! 

Thanks

She's behaving like a silly girl little girl.  Really... if she thinks bulimia is a big joke and wants to be a drama queen saying no to pizzas, pretending to throw up and exercising herself into the ground, I'd let her get on with the grandstanding because it's likely she's doing it for effect.   Stay away from people like that if they affect you negatively ... make friends with people who are more well-balanced and - dare I say it? - less immature.  

For the dinner party.... Strongly recommend that you take this 'friend' to one side beforehand, tell her very firmly that you'll be cooking a nice meal and that if she makes any childish comments she'll be asked to leave.  You don't have the problem... she does.

gi-jane 

   You always have the answer! Thank you! But one more thing about the dinner, it's not my party. It's an invitation from our teacher to his house so that international students could have a nice traditional dinner together (this time is Thai people gathering). But I will be the one who cook all the food. She said something like, we should cook diet food and everything. I mean, there are a lot of healthy low fat diet food, but other Thai people didn't want to have those. So I cook what the majority told me to cook.

So when I sit down at dinner, what if she say that she wouldn't eat or behave rudely toward the food....that would definitely make me not eat. Should I still warn the girl before hand that her behavior will not be acceptable?

If I've noticed one thing about the majority of your posts it's that you are constantly comparing yourself to others. This girl has this and that, That girl does this and that. You need to stop comparing yourself to other people. You are you for a reason. When we compare ourselves to others it really puts a stress and pressure on us that doesn't need to be there.

You have to sit down and rather then think about what other people have, think about the qualities you have that you love. Whether it's your eyes, your family..ANYTHING. Do not write one negative thing about yourself. After you finish this list put it somewhere you will see it everyday to remind yourself that you are a worthy person.

If anything you could also write a list of where once you would put what that person has, put what they DON'T have. For instance on this girl...You could put "She is immature, I am not." "She is unhealthy and is doing this the wrong way. I am doing this the right way." "If she keeps this mindset she will end up hospitalized. I will be free." "She will gain her weight back in the end since she isn't doing it healthy. I will learn how to control food and how to be healthy in this life." Etc.

Turn those postives you gave to others and switch them to negative.

As for the dinner party, if she makes a fool of herself there, then that's her problem. Just be proud of the meal you presented and if she doesn't like it then tough. You will look elegant and classy and be thanked for your hard work..she'll just end up looking like an a**hole or a little child having a little fit.

:P

thank you - 

....Yeah...I have been comparing myself to other person....but....this is the only girl and the same girl that I have been talking about in other post!!!

  She "come" to me, not the other way around. I did tell her that I don't want to talk about this subject, but she either ask her friends to ask me about it, or still come and sit with me during dinner so that she could talk about it. Lately, I have to avoid eating dinner at the dinning hall and take breakfast upstair because she would be down there and start bragging about food....and asking me ALL THE TIME. 

    *** Not that I don't appreciate your answer - because your answer DOES reminds me of how I should think to myself!!  :) But the dinner is tomorrow and it is VERY RUDE in Thai culture to behave rudely or say something bad about the food that someone intentionally cook for you. That's all I'm worry about is tomorrow! I hope I won't slip back tomorrow......because I hate to be like that again..ever.

Still, silentdeadlyrose - thank you!! I would do what you say!!!

If she says something rude just tell her in the open so other can hear "You are in a civilized company, please act accordingly or leave."

UD

Nobody eles has said it so I will.

You have already overcome a HUGE problem and are sticking to what you know is the right thing to do.  That is wonderful!  Congratulations on overcoming a big obstacle and finding your way.

As for this girl - blow her off as not a friend to you.  If you have to be around her do your best to say nothing.  She has her own hard row to hoe and she will have to do the work.  You can not help her in her quest.

If I were you I definitely would NOT consider this person my 'friend'. Explain to them that you're trying to recover and be healthy and that what she's doing is hurting your feelings.

I would also tell her that if she's not going to act at properly at the dinner party perhaps she should just not come because she'll ruin it for everyone else and she probably won't enjoy the food anyways.

Thank you everyone! All the Thai people who will be at the party also concern about this as well! Thank you for every advices! Hopefully, she would not say anything that will offend the others at the party. And hopefully, I can cook some nice food!! haha. wish me luck on that!  :)

Well done...  Attention seekers like this silly girl are a pain in the rear end, generally.  Deprive them of the thing they crave most i.e. attention, and they quickly get bored and move onto something else. 

I'm sure dinner will be delicious.  Good luck

Even if you are not successfull at getting her to respect your eating/diet choices and still get jealous that she is losing more than you, you can gain strength by reminding yourself that she may be damaging her health as well as her friendships and that your respect toward yourself, your health and your friends is something to be proud of. She may be thin but she's got some other big problems.