So I'm Kind of a N00b... but just one question about this "dieting" concept

I probably would have stayed a N00b, that is if I had not gotten some bitter-sweet news today.

My boyfriend of two years looked me straight in the eyes and told me that he wants me to be the woman he marries. He was not proposing, thank god. Personally, if he was, I would have said no, not because I don't love him, and not because he's not the man I see myself marrying. Truthfully I woud have said no to the man of my dreams because I don't want to be a fat bride.

So we talked about it, the whole Marriage idea, and being the sneaky little number I am I asked him when his ideal time to get married is. He wants to be engaged during 23, and married half-way through 24. Not bad, I have 6 years to drop 8 dress sizes. Being the intelligent man I know him to be, he caught on pretty quick, telling me to be soft on myself, because he enjoys heavy women. As long as it doesn't put any risk to my health, he doesn't want me below a 14.

So that's my inspiration for this question: approximately how much does one weigh at 5'8 being a 14-16 dress size?

So You don't have to ask my weight is currently 317lbs. and I'm a 22-24 (commonly known as a 2X) at the moment.

Its more about inches than weight, but if I had to guess, about 190 at least.

my research has been telling me that a dress size is between 10 and 15 lbs on a taller woman (5'7+), doing the math, the worst case scenario (at the most) I'd have to lose 117 pounds, which doesn't sound too bad even if i only lose 1 pound a week, I have 6 years.

I'm not trying to be negative.  Congrats on your pre engagement engagement.  However, I would really take some time to consider what weight/size you want to be.  I don't' know him and and I don't know why he enjoys heavy women, but a lot of men like their women to be heavy for the wrong reason.

Depending on your proportions, and the cost of the clothes (more expensive usually runs much smaller, a 14 at Target is NOT the same 14 at Ann Taylor, much less Neiman's)  -- at 221 I was still in 14/16 -- but that doesn't hold true for all women.  Take it slow and easy, you will be able to drop the weight and become more fit.

i too think that tying weight loss to a wedding is a bad idea.  there are a few problems with that kind of thinking: first, assuming that you make your goal, what happens the next day?  once the pictures are taken and the dress is hanging in the closet again, do you go back to your old ways?  second, what happens if you realize that you're not going to make your goal?  all bets are off?  third (and sorry for bringing this up, but...), what if you and the bf break up?  you're awfully young to be thinking about marriage, and a lot can happen in six years.

you need to lose weight for your health, not to look good in a 15 minute ceremony and in the pictures in your album.

to answer your question, though, i'm 5'8" and was almost 170 and a size 12 (tight) at my heaviest.  i think lili's estimate is very close: 175-185-ish at size 14, 185-195 at 16 is a pretty good bet.  depends on body composition, frame size, how big your boobs are, etc., but trying to guess that right now is pretty futile.

It really does depend on how you carry your weight.  I tend to carry it all over but do have a heavy top.  You probably will get a different answer from every person that replies. 

I am 5'6", weigh 205, and wear size 16. I just reached the point where size 18 or even a 16W is too baggy on me.

I am 5'8'' and vary between a size 14 and 16, currently at the point where most of my 16 are getting baggy. I currently weigh ~170. My starting weight was 183 and I fit perfectly in size 16. It depends alot on your body shape, but yeah, somewhere between 170 and 185 would probably get you there. Good luck with your weight loss and congrats on your planned engagement/marriage.

I'm only 5'5" but I weigh about 175 right now and wear size 10-12 dresses. But I have barely anything on top so think thats what helps =]

Also, realise that your boyfriend probably has no understanding whatsoever of women's clothing sizes.  Most men/boys don't.  (Can you blame them?  They change so drastically from store to store.)  So, don't let him dictate your goal.  That said, getting into a size 14 at some point sound like a great starting goal.  When you get closer to that point, you'll know your body well enough to assess whether or not you want that to be your final goal.  Let's face it, he just wants to make sure you don't turn into a stick figure who starves herself all the time (which is *not* a judgement call on slim women; just something some men fear).

I weigh 209  and a size 16 now fits me like a glove.

I dislike how 80% of the responses are not about my weight at all, but my boyfriend. Thanks to the rational people who answered my question instead of giving me a psychiatric profile.

I'm only 5'4" but at ~180 I was wearing sizes 14 and 16. 

i am 5'8' tall, i wear a size 16 right now. I weight 190. i can get into a 14 from about 175-185 pounds. :) Hopefully i will get there again soon!

Original Post by lili769:

I dislike how 80% of the responses are not about my weight at all, but my boyfriend. Thanks to the rational people who answered my question instead of giving me a psychiatric profile.

So next time, either don't post on a public internet forum, or don't give us 2 paragraphs of background on your boyfriend, your future wedding, and how big he likes you to be. You could have asked the question without mentioning your boyfriend if you were that concerned.

Generally, anything you include in your post is fair fodder for comment.

Okay, i am not going to say anything about your b/F,  however what my experiance in the past has been. Most men that i have encountered that like large women are becasue they feel that they are safe, and that large women are more greatful for any attention they get. Just some food for thought.

Loseing weight should not be about what others want, but for what you want for yourself, and any future  children you may have. As a larger women you are at risk for miscarriages, still biths, and complications during pregnacy. I know i have been large to med most of my life and have has 2 miscarriages, and one still birth. I think that getting down to a size 14 is  a good stepping stone, but i would recommend loseing weight until you are comfroable with you. And if people don't like how small you get then they don't reallly care about u.

Sorry for being so Blunt, but it tears my heart up, to see someone who wants to lose weight to please others and not themselves.

BTW i am 5'5 200lbs right now and i fit in to a 16.

I am still loseing baby weight from my stillborn.

Okay, i am not going to say anything about your b/F,  however what my experience in the past has been. Most men that i have encountered that like large women are because they feel that they are safe, and that large women are more grateful for any attention they get. Just some food for thought.

Losing weight should not be about what others want, but for what you want for yourself, and any future  children you may have. As a larger women you are at risk for miscarriages, still births, and complications during pregnancy. I know i have been large to med most of my life and have has 2 miscarriages, and one still birth. I think that getting down to a size 14 is  a good stepping stone, but i would recommend losing weight until you are comfortable with you. And if people don't like how small you get then they don't really care about u.

Sorry for being so Blunt, but it tears my heart up, to see someone who wants to lose weight to please others and not themselves.

BTW i am 5'5 200lbs right now and i fit in to a 16.

I am still losing baby weight from my stillborn.

Original Post by merylwhite1:

Original Post by lili769:

I dislike how 80% of the responses are not about my weight at all, but my boyfriend. Thanks to the rational people who answered my question instead of giving me a psychiatric profile.

So next time, either don't post on a public internet forum, or don't give us 2 paragraphs of background on your boyfriend, your future wedding, and how big he likes you to be. You could have asked the question without mentioning your boyfriend if you were that concerned.

Generally, anything you include in your post is fair fodder for comment.

+1 Apparently it's relevant, otherwise you wouldn't have mentioned it in your original post.

Original Post by merylwhite1:

Original Post by lili769:

I dislike how 80% of the responses are not about my weight at all, but my boyfriend. Thanks to the rational people who answered my question instead of giving me a psychiatric profile.

So next time, either don't post on a public internet forum, or don't give us 2 paragraphs of background on your boyfriend, your future wedding, and how big he likes you to be. You could have asked the question without mentioning your boyfriend if you were that concerned.

Generally, anything you include in your post is fair fodder for comment.

Exactly. He's 18 and has 6 years to change his mind on marriage while the OP has to live with her body for life. Just saying...

Original Post by lili769:

I dislike how 80% of the responses are not about my weight at all, but my boyfriend. Thanks to the rational people who answered my question instead of giving me a psychiatric profile.

wow - seriously?  i count exactly three posts before yours that mention your boyfriend, of which two comment on his preference for big girls.

defensive much?

I think the reason people posted about your bf is because you mentioned it.

They aren't trying to insult you or your bf, but are pointing out that you need to do for you. You can't determine what size you should be based on what someone else thinks. Lets say this doesn't work out- lets face it, you are young and 6 years is a lifetime.... and you find someone who prefers a size 6- would you base your goal on that?

ANYWAYS- your question is about weight... I think that is hard to determine what size at what weight as everybody is different. You should find out where you should be to be healthy (maybe a doc can help with that) and have that be your long term goal. Keep small goals and each time you reach those you can reassess how you feel....

But remember it is you feeling good about you and that is what matters.