Why I'm leaving CC

When I first came to this site, I was thrilled. I started counting calories to get healthy. But then I posted my goal weight, and everyone had a HUGE issue with it. They never asked me why my goal is what it is, they just assumed that I wanted to look anorexic. I am very small boned, and I went to the doctor and asked him. He said it would be okay to be 107 if I was eating 2000cals and was getting exercise. I have a ton of heart related deaths in my family, and my mom has VERY high cholesteral. So I am not here to become emaciated, I am here so that I can live a long, healthy life. I have tried to tell people my weight loss is doctor monitored and my doctor is approving everything I do, but it got blown off. So I tried to stop telling people my GW. Last night, I posted my GW(heres my origional post):

 Hi, I'm 15, 5'8 and I will weigh 107 lbs. I have struggled with my weight all my life, and I now weigh 158, I want to be thin. I will not become anorexic, My grandmother, whom in bone frame I look like, died of anorexia. I practically watched  her die. She weighed about 60 lbs, and wrote down every bite of food/calories she took in. I don't want to die like that. I have to much going for me. I just got a mercedes, I have a job that I can use for the rest of my life. I am so happy in my life, I just need the body to match. I feel thin on the inside, and I need to step out of this fat suit, and then I will have it all. Is that so hard for everyone to understand? I LOVE LIFE! I just don't love being fat.

And I got attacked. Here is the reply I got from robynanne:

OMG Diorbaby you have a VERY insane idea of what a 5'8" person should weigh.  107 is NOT a good weight for a person that is 5'8".  try 130 - at the VERY skinny level.  160 would even be healthy.

Sure, we understand your motivation, but it has NOTHING to do with health and frankly, I'm tired of hearing about it.  Go get support FOR your eating distortion somewhere else.  Maybe anorexia-is-great.com is looking for new members.  Who knows.  *I* on the other hand, need to really work to avoid diabetes and heart problems and get fit so that I can be there for my family as my kids grow.  I just don't feel like saying "whoo hoo, way to go" as you distort your body to insanity.  Actually, I also don't feel like saying "That isn't healthy, please talk to your doctor, I'm really worried about you." because clearly, you don't care and I don't like wasting my time.

-Robyn

This is my reply to Robyn:

Robyn-I AM trying to avoid diabetes, In fact I am currently living with my maternal aunt, who HAS diabetes. Nearly all of the women in my family have diabetes, and ALL the men in my mothers family have DROPPED DEAD by the age of 60. My grandfather, whom I never met, was getting ready to start a bike race when he turned around, smiled at my grandmother, and dropped. We do not know what he died from, all we know is that the men have all had  heart attacks/heart problems. I am not here to be anorexic, I am here to get healthy. I wish you hadn't judged me before you even got to know me AT ALL. But I am leaving the site. Thank you. Kate.



See, what Robyn didn't bother asking is why I want to lose weight. She assumed that I was anorexic. I have seen anorexia. My grandmother died at 62 from it, She weighed only 60lbs. She starved to death in the hospital. It was not pretty, glamorous, or remotely attractive. She had nearly no hair, bad fingernails and brittle bones. 

One thing she (robyn) said is true: I probably would be better off going to an anorexia site. I have never been to one, But I am guessing that they might actually try to get to know me before judging me. I am not anorexic, and never have been. I don't want to leave CC, But I know that I will not be posting anything on these message boards again. I will use the site for the calorie/weight tracking only. Thank you for your time, and to those who actually tried to get to know me, thank you for your help. Kate.

Edit: I noticed that many of you said that doctors can be wrong, but I have not only gone to the doctor who has known me since I was born, But I went to a dietician and she said that that weight FOR MY BODY TYPE would be fine, as long as I was eating 2000 cals, which is the exact same thing my other doctor said. Sorry I didn't post this in the first place!

it's a shame she didn't get the support she needed here...

anorexia sites only encourage people to do crazy things like eat salted cotton balls, they are striving for starvation, they literally like the skin and bones look

5'8" and 107 pounds IS the skin and bones look.  It's only anorexic if you get there in a few months instead of doing it slowly.  Just because you don't go down to 60 pounds doesn't mean you are healthy at 100.

It won't look or be healthy, sorry to agree with Robyn but when everyone around you is concerned about your health when you get around the 100 pound mark, maybe you'll listen.

Why are women so obsessed with looking like walking corpses lately?  And why would we support it here?

All I can hope is that when women get to an actual healthy weight, that they will stay there.

(oh, I read some other replies to her postings and it was people telling her to be careful, which is what we usually do when someone says they want to be a scary low weight)

i second that - big time - we are here to support one another - not to put each other down etc etc (the first answer)

that is the whole point of the forum and after reading the answer from Robyn - i could not believe what i was reading - i have sent a pm to diorbaby asking her to reconsider - not to leave - i wont say what i personally feel about the two answers she listed - it would not be the right thing for me to do - all i want to say if that if she reads this - stay - dont leave - we are here to help - ignore the judgemental ones - they are not worth the time and effort

Wow... and at 15, I can't imagine the damage you are doing to your future self.

Have fun in your Mercedes.

Sorry you're leaving Dior, I saw that post as well :(
It's good to know your doctor is fully aware of your current situation.

I do admit that 107 for your height sounds shocking, but the best I can do is hope that you are indeed going about it in the responsible manner as you say, and wish you every bit of good health.

Maybe you'll feel like popping in some time in the future?

So then, why DO you want to weight so little?

You do realize that being underweight affects your heart, as well, I'm sure...

From reading your other posts, I can see where (other) Robyn was coming from. Not only is your goal weight seriously under what it should healthily be, but you (from what I saw) consistently agreed with posters that insisted it was ok to eat 1000 calories a day. I'm glad that your weight loss is monitered by your doctor and that you are not an 800-cal-per-day eater, but I would like you to know that that is often how you came across to me. I'm sorry you feel attacked; please keep in mind that many people here have suffered from EDs and are frightened and worried about a 15 year old girl who wants to be (on average) severely underweight.

~another worried Robyn

Dior, when I was your age I was 5'8" and weighed only 98 pounds... I was extremly thin naturally.... I ate like a horse and drank "weight on" shakes...

Some people have very small frames - which is me.  I am glad you are trying to have a healthy life at a very young age and wish I would have as now I am overweight because of my eating habits and the lack of exercise. 

Robyn comments were really assinine.  It is one thing to show concern and another to ridicule... Just block people that write nasty things.  Someone don't realize how nasty they are but, in this ones case I think she full well knew.  Just block and roll.  Continue on cc as it is a great site and aside from a few mean spirited people, full of kind and supportive help.

While I agree that it's sad for someone to feel they must leave the site, I would like to second what vthompson said...

For Diorbaby or anyone else, please use the block feature if someone repeatedly says things that you find unhelpful.  That prevents them from PMing you as well and you never have to see their thoughts again.

To block someone, click their name.  On their profile page, you will see three options: add to friends, block, journal

Click on Block and ta da! problem solved!

This is the very reason why Erik and Igor gave us the block feature.  :)

Yes, after reading some of her other posts, I, too, can see why someone would take the "tough love" approach.

I hope diorbaby gets a second opinion; 107 pounds for someone her height and age gives her a BMI of 16.3. Doctors can, and do, make mistakes.

I can't tell you what's healthy and what is not. But I am an anorexic, just currently have it under control. I think the problem is many people think anorexia is a weight issue (it's so much more than that, you know you saw it for yourself.) So they see a low weight and think the two go together. You don't sound anorexic to me at all. Seems your age isn't being considered here. When you are young, you can be that small and be very healthy. I guess the people here just want to help, maybe I am guilty of jumping the gun myself. I hope you do change your mind and stay, but if not, please don't run to an anorexic site, there is nothing healthy to learn there, I know. I am glad you talked to your doctor, that's a good thing, and indicates an educated attitude about eating habits and good health, not an anorexic one.  

I didn't know about the block feature. I believe this is going to make my stay on CC much more pleasant. :)

Oh  my God there's a block feature? Haha no one is probably reading this

I agree with vthompson. 

If you're under medical supervision and your doctor (and you) are happy with your weight, then your weight is fine. 

Good luck with your goals!

too much assumption going on. not everyone is like that on cc. good luck on your weight loss journey!

Best of luck to you.  I am 5'7", small framed and aiming for 144 pounds.  Even at my slimmest when I was younger I was 135.

spiro, now that was funny.

dior goodluck with whatever it is your trying to find withing your weightloss if its under docs care you might want a second opinion just to make sure you losing healthy cause i hate to say it but alot of ppl on here had valid points.

take care ms dior.........come back again once you cool down maybe?

I'm medium framed, 5'7" and looked HORRIFYING at 117lbs. I don't know what I was thinking at the time. Oh well, everyone is different

Oh goodness ANOTHER one of these threads? Oh well so sorry to see you go.