Im getting more and more upset with this site....

Maybe its just me but...

a little while ago, someone ran a poll as to why people dont post...  I kinda danced around the issue but here it is..

This used to be a place where you could post opinions, questions and problems and people would answer back with their own opinions, some answers and support..

its changed..  Now, if I post something that isnt backed by years of research, or I use the wrong word, or heaven forbid..  post a personal experience with something..    a bunch of people jump on it with glee.. to tell me how wrong, foolish, shortsighted or irresponsible I am being...

whats with the judgemental attitude folks ?  Its getting so that I just get mad when I read posts...  

You know, my mother used to say that you dont make a comment on someone else's attitude or opinion till youve lived in their skin.

I guess I am pleading for some tolerance here.  Otherwise, me and a lot of others will lose a valuable resource for getting our health and weight under control.

I've yet to experience or witness any real negativity toward anyone on this site. In my opinion I've never "talked" to a more friendly bunch of people. So, um yeah.

Amen to that Never!

I agree! 

I don't post alot, mainly just read....but most of the time I have to filter through all the soap opera "drama" and judgemental attitudes to get to some good advice!

i dont post a lot either.  but I think if anyone is offering advice that isnt backed by research they should add a "Disclaimer".

Somethings that might work for people aren't necessarily healthy.  If people seem judgey, its most likely that they are concerned about the people that could be recieving UNHEALTHY messages.  we dont want to cause anyone to stumble here and there are people at risk so its important to be mindful of just what kind of advice we are giving.

im sorry if you have felt attacked.  that is definitely unfair.  people need to be mindful of how they respond to things they disagree with, so there I definitely am on your side.

Maybe I'm thick-skinned or maybe I'm new. I read nearly every post. (Yeah... I know... sitting around the computer when I could be exercising is of questionable value...) So far, I haven't seen anything that makes me think anyone is being unsupportive.

I have noticed quite a bit of information that is backed up by evidence and a few requests for it, but this is my personal preference because I prefer facts over opinion, particularly when my health is at question.

A few years ago, I was a nursing mum. I believed I could eat anything I wanted and the weight would be burned off by the breastfeeding. What no one told me is that cheesecake and french fries do not get burned off. I got large.

THEN, someone told me that we need milk fat for optimal brain power. Had I had a few more facts, I wouldn't have buttered my way up a few more pounds.

Then there was the stuff I "swallowed" about white flour and whole wheat flour being about the same in nutritional value because the bran in whole wheat flour had been processed to death. Up a few more pounds I went.

So now I'm a whopping 33 lbs overweight. I need to take this weight off and I need to keep it off permanently. To do that, I need solid help - and for me, that includes facts. I use the support I get here, like the pats on my back and the words of "you go girl," to bolster my spirits and the factual information to unpad my tuckus.

• "Somethings that might work for people aren't necessarily healthy."

A different problem is some times people think something is working when in reality it's unrelated. They then think the placebo will work for everybody.

"You know, my mother used to say that you dont make a comment on someone else's attitude or opinion till youve lived in their skin." -- neversaydiekai

I'm not TRYING to be judgmental but the above advice could go for you as well. :P

Nothing is new, nothing has changed, and nothing ever will change -- this is just the way of the Internet and message boards. You have to take what you can use and leave the rest behind. You've only been here since July; I think what's happened is you've gotten to "know" the boards and the people and you're "seeing" all the crap that goes on, whereas before you were just a newbie. There are ALL kinds of people and personalities -- that's just the way it is.

"I don't post alot, mainly just read....but most of the time I have to filter through all the soap opera "drama" and judgemental attitudes to get to some good advice!" -- rdgatewood -- EXACTLY! You have to because it's always going to be there.

You have to get used to it.  Really.  This is how many posting forums are on the internet.

This place really is not that bad.  Its actually one of the better ones.  You have to be able to distance yourself from some of the posters and not let it get to you.

Take in the good and let the bad fall by the side of the road.

So are alot of things that are unacceptable "going to always be there"...doesn't mean that it should be ignored or that the rest of us are under an obligation to "let it slide". 

Evil thrives where good men do nothing...not trying to say anyone is evil - it's just the lesson of the statement - when you stand by and allow things that you know to be wrong happen without taking a stand, you are saying it is ok and then it becomes more and more prevelant. 

I think the message here is that disagreeing is great - debate is fantastic - attacking and trivializing someone is not okay and everytime it needs to be said - I think it should be! 

I am very glad that your perceptions of this site have been positive - for the most part this is a wonderful site full of wonderful and diverse people.  The point that if we have been here so long - perhaps we read into things based on past issues - your probably right.  Do some of us need a tad bit thicker skin...maybe - but at the end of the day, tolerance, patience, empathy and good old manners will serve us even better :)  Take care!! 

Wow,

I agree that some things have to be tolerated and that not everyone is the same.  Some people are very shy and need support like the ones with thick skins.  It might be that the shy ones may not be able to get what they need because the ones who feel they can express themselves freely intimidate and scare.

I am a thick skinned opinionated person.  I know that.  I also know that when you don't know who you are talking to you should be careful of hurt feelings and feelings of rejection.  We all need support, not just the strong ones.

Take care with others feelings.

But if you ask for people's opinion, then you will get it.  You might not like it, but don't forget it is just someone's opinion.  It doesn't mean they're right.  If you post on a public site you can't always expect the response you want. Ignore the bad ones and just listen to people who really want to help.  Don't let it stop you from posting if you need some help.

Simple answer, at this moment -  "268,710 accounts created since February, 2005." The public forums on this website is a public internet portal. This is not a small little world.

I totally don't expect anyone to post information backed by years of research or whatever, but it sure would be nice to initially provide whatever information they have available if they are going to start a new thread in the public forums. I think sometimes it is just way too easy to post in the public forums. Another idea I would like to suggest for consideration is that if someone is going to post a new thread on the public forums, to take a brief moment to consider the enormous audience. This is a community filled with a wide variety of diverse individuals. I guess the real question is, how much personal experience do you want to have out there on the internet for public scrutiny? For me personally, I haven't started a new thread in many many months. There is nothing going on in my personal life that demands that sort of level of attention. That's me, that is how I feel. Maybe other people feel differently, that is perfectly acceptable. Diversity is what make the world so beautiful, in my opinion.

As for getting mad when reading someone's post... I think there are a couple of factors to consider. One is that you can not hear the infliction in someone's voice. Two you really have no idea who that person is. Really, you don't. Can you really know someone through the internet? The internet is a scary scary place, filled with all kinds of strange people. Three, you have the choice to walk away. Nothing that is ever posted in the public forums on this website is ever worth getting upset about. It's not worth the emotional investment. Now, big hugz for you. Personally, sometimes I choose to shrug my shoulders and pick up my knitting instead. =)

I dont understand all this squabbling!  I've been on this site for over 4 months, and I find it great!  I just stay away from 'dramatic' threads.  I understand they will always occur, and I'm fine with that.

I've never seen an honest question met with hostility.   I've seen people jump on those who are trying to promote unhealthy ways of losing weight or those who are already severely underweight trying to lose even more.  I admit that I do that...

There will always be squabbling and debates on internet forums, it's the nature of internet forums.  There are so many people with different opinions and the anonymity of the internet to embolden them.

You know, I used to think that this place had really gone downhill since I really got into the forums in August. It seemed like the first month was amazing and loving, then all of a sudden it quickly got ugly, defensive and inflammatory.

Then I started reading lots of much older posts and I realized that there has ALWAYS been drama and debating and negativity and rudeness here. It may seem a little more overwhelming now because there are more and more people every day, and the longer we stay on here the more comfortable we get to saying whatever the **** we feel like saying and also, we begin to assume that we know each other's personalities and exactly how people are coming across.

The best that we can do is to just try and be civil, polite, decent and caring people. And to accept that we are human as well as everyone else on the site, so take everything with a grain of salt... and maybe just take it easy. :)

Ah Jayd, so eloquently said from someone whom used explicit profanity and called another member on this site a "crazy bush twat" within the past 3 weeks. *wink* Just imagine what the public forum archives on this site would look like if the really really offensive posts were not deleted and accounts not suspended! =)

Now, if I post something that isnt backed by years of research, or I use the wrong word, or heaven forbid..  post a personal experience with something..    a bunch of people jump on it with glee.. to tell me how wrong, foolish, shortsighted or irresponsible I am being...

Occasionally, I will see a thread on a medical issue on the active threads posted at the bottom of the main forums page.  I offer what I feel is sound medical advice based on my education.  There was one person who recently went off on me in response.  I hate people who post medical advice when it is not their field and are only posting anecdotes, about his father in this case.  Now anecdotes have their place because just about every drug known to man has a long list of potential problems reported by other people, but that does not make a specific anecdote relevant because of many factors including age, diet, and other drugs and herbs the person may be taking.  So in general, Person A's experience has no relevance to Person B's potential experience.  The exchange clearly entered the realm of "mine is bigger than yours," and that is not the type of discussion I would like to have.

In another very recent post, someone I was trying to help with the analyzer posted back in a way indicating that she felt offended.  Maybe I don't use enough smilies, but why would I offer an answer to their problem if it were a case of me just me wanting to put someone down?  I think some people need to get a thicker skin, quite honestly.

And as far as civility goes, what about saying thank you and whether a my post fixed your problem or not?  True, no one is making answer posts no more than someone making me hold a door or stop for a pedestrian, but I do it because I like to help and I enjoy the challenge of finding an answer.

... and so the DRAMA continues ... :P

My take is that people can shape their surroundings. It is human nature to follow leaders, and there are all sorts of them. If you don't like our current role models, become our next one - I truly believe that each and every single one of us can define and redefine the Calorie-Count experience!