I'm new ( and trying to recover from my ED)

Hey everyone!

I've been on calorie-count for about 2 years, ever since I developed my ED. I mainly used it to look up the caloric values of foods, or to find low cal recipes to make (but not eat). Anyways, after spending eight weeks in hospital, I'm ready to start using calorie-count in a more healthful way.

Next few paragraphes contain numbers&BMI, so I'm including a trigger warning.

 

 

A little about myself: I'm seventeen years old, and was diagnosed with Anorexia in September 2006, after reducing my weight to 90lbs at 5'6" (14.5 BMI). My mom used to watch me while I slept, incase my heart rate dropped too low in my sleep, and I'd frequently wake up just to have her staring at me. My family doctor referred me to an ED clinic, and I started on as an outpatient in October '06. I was always cold, I lived for food ( watched the food network, was constantly baking for other people, and spent hours collecting recipes and figuring out the calories in all foods), and I couldn't concentrate at all. My hair had fallen out and I lost control of my bladder. It was a terrible time in my life, but I was thin.

After months of maintaing a low weight, my body couldn't handle it any longer. I started to binge. I remember my first ever binge ( a 'binge' of 800calories') and I was so, so sick I couldn't function. I lost track of time, thoughts, and just couldn't get over the sheer amount of food I had consumed. The bingeing was rare at first, and I still maintained my LW, but as the months went by the bingeing increased. Terrified of the amount of food I was eating and the weight gain, I started purging. Before long, I was up to bingeing and purging twelve times a day, vomiting blood, and abusing laxatives. I had to give blood weekly( to moniter my electrolytes), and take medication to correct the damage I'd done.

I was put into treatment mid-december '07, and just finished last thursday. Eating normally is still a foreign concept, and I don't know if I can manage. I only know two ways of eating - severe restricting or bingeing and purging. I'm hoping that I can use this site to gain information and support in trying to be 'normal' with my eating.

So, Hi!

hi, im also quite new to this site and im looking for people my own age to chat to. im nearly 17 too & female. congratulations on making the decision to get better and healthy, you will find lots of support on this site :) feel free to message me if you feel like you need some support or just some friendly chat. and good luck, you can do it!! :) 

Congratulations for choosing the road to recovery.

I am also trying to recover, no, I'm GOING to recover from my ED and I'll be around if you ever want to message me, rant, or need support.  We all need to stick together and battle this out!  We can do it!  ^_^

Thanks for the warm welcomes. =]

I guess I never realized how hard it is to recover. No matter how hard I try, I can't seem to let go of any behaviors. I'm dissapointed in myself, and with my treatment. I expected to be doing better. Today especially has been a huge dissapointment, ED wise. I won't go into details, since I doubt it's appropriate for this forum, but lets just say I'm back where I started. It's incredibly frustrating, so I'm very thankful to have everyone's support.

 

 

I'm so happy that you've really taken recovery as your goal- congratulations!  You seem to be going about things in a really responsible way, and that's heartening.  I know it's really hard to let go of old compulsions, so know that any progress is a good step.  The steps might be small, but they ARE leading you to recovery.

Something that seems to help and not be too scary at first:  roasted nuts.  Things like roasted almonds are rather high in protein and "good" fats for healthy hearts, and yes, calorically they're pretty high as well.  But they're still GOOD FOR YOU, so having a small handful with a meal or as a snack is a pretty nonthreatening way to work your total calorie count up for the day without feeling panicked at the volume of food you're consuming.

I'll also recommend adding avocados to things like salads and salmon burgers- same deal as nuts, highly tasty and a healthy caloric additive.

Good luck and congratulations again- it makes me so happy to see anyone who is being  responsible and proactive about getting well!