I'm outta here

Well, I'm officially leaving CC.   Funny how whenever someone else said they were leaving CC, I always viewed it as a bad thing, like they were giving up.  But I'm not giving up, and that's precisely why I have to leave.  I'm 118 lbs. and 5'7".  I got down to 112 and a size 0 tracking everything I ate, measuring and weighing every portion, and refusing to overindulge.  I "treated" myself every day with a small piece of chocolate, usually around 100 cals.  When a friend came and stayed with me, I ate like she ate (which to be fair, wasn't too healthy), and went on a binge/restrict cycle for about 4.5 months now.  I binged on things I never used to allow myself to have.  If I went 100 cals over my daily limit, I'd say screw it, and eat and eat and eat.  I've spent hours at the gym when I should've been concentrating on schoolwork.  I put my boyfriend through hell and back.

The thing is, I took pride in being underweight.  My efforts to get rid of my bulimia were marred by my wanting to lose the 5-6 lbs. I'd put on in the process.  I should be grateful.  I'm at a healthy weight again.  There was never anything healthy about me being a size 0, especially at my height.  I worried I would put on weight and shoot back up to 145 like I was a few years ago.  then I realized I know about healthy eating now, and I exercise.  I would literally have to try really hard to put all that weight back on.  I should just be healthy and enjoy it.

So I'm hoping to forget all the calorie information I know.  I know what's healthy, I don't need to know if I'm getting exactly 45 grams of cereal each morning, and since I work out every other day, burning at least 700 calories each time, the chances of me becoming heavy are slim to none.

So I support you in your goals, be it to lose or gain weight, but don't lose sight of the big picture.  Food is not life.  Thinking about it all the time and worrying about the exact amount you're getting is not healthy and it's not normal.  I hope when you reach your goal weights, you will be able to live a healthy, normal life without checking nutritional information on every little thing.

anyway, wish me luck.  I'm off to live my life again :)

Good Luck!

I plan to do the same when Im down -or around- my goal weight, I think CC is an invaluable learning resource for me, but it is easy to get carried away.

You're doing the right thing.  Just be healthy and happy.

We wish you all the best life has to offer.

I am so happy to hear that you are healthy and happy and ready to take the next step.  Good Luck!

Good for you and Congratulations!  You are right - you do not need to worry about every little morsel that goes in your mouth.  I am increasingly concerned over the number of people that have Eating Disorders and use this site to facilitate THAT and not to be healthy.  CC is a wonderful tool to help get people on the road to good eating habits.  It has great resources and information for those of us that need some clarification and direction.  But, as you said, it is easy to get carried away, get caught up in losing weight beyond healthy limits, and end up on the OTHER side of the spectrum - too thin.

We should all strive to be at whatever iweight s healthy and feels good for each individual.  So congrats on getting where you wanted, learning what works and doesn't work, and getting out while you can still find "normal".  Eating disorders are dangerous and can be deadly.  Food is to be enjoyed in life - so enjoy food (in a healthy way) and enjoy life!!

 

This is a really great post to read.  Good luck - I hope that we all get to where you are now.

And, thank you for posting this.

I can't wait until I have enough knowledge in my head and weight loss to join you! Good luck and congratulations!