So...I'm pretty sure my boyfriend is breaking up with me tonight...

All the signs are there, and I've been devastated for the past couple of hours.

he's coming over tonight to "talk." I know he at least has the decency to do it in person. Is it bad or weird that I want to make myself look really really hot tonight? I mean, I've been crying over this for a while now, and of course I'm still upset. For some reason though, I just want to look really good, in an "eff you" sort of way.

I'm feeling pretty immature right about now...

its right on par with normal to want to look as hot as possible.

plus getting all dolled up can make you feel better and is soothing to do...

and you never know-- maybe he wants to talk about... moving in, moving away, a new job, getting married, his aspirations to become president.....

Make yourself smokin', but don't look like you tried.  Hang in there--I'll be thinking of you.

Not bad at all to wanna look hot, just dont make it so obvious that you did it for him. Cause when it really comes down to it your doing it for yourself cause it i will make you feel better that you look good.  Throw it in his face and let him see what he'll be missing out on, it might make him think twice.   Plus no one wants to deal with a sobbing mess when they're doing something they feel bad about doing.  You also dont want him backing out of breaking it off cause he feels ur too vulnerable to handle it.  No one wants a pity boyfriend.  Stand strong dont beg for him, if he wants to come back let him do it on his own, then you can decide whether you really want him back or not.   You know the saying "set em free blah blah blah..."  so good luck on looking hot, from your pic you have here it doesn't look like it'll be that hard for you.  I'm sure you have others that are just waiting in line for you anyways!!

Aw, thanks guys!

I don't feel completely crazy anymore! I already decided that if he breaks up with me I'm going to convince myself that he's gay. That way I'll feel better about the situation, haha.

Not crying is going to be sooooooooo hard! I'm super sensitive, and I'm pmsing :/
You're right though. No one wants a pity boyfriend!

awwww that sucks. stay strong girl. i like the gay angle... thats good. whatever works!

Wow, I'm sorry to hear that hon. I know I have no clue who you are, but it still sucks being dumped. If you want, you can have my boyfriend. (I'm not kidding either). He won't leave you. EVER. He tries his damndest to stay with you, even when you want to run away. Good luck tonight, lets hope he's going to talk about him coming out of the closet!

The only piece of advice I have is that you don't try to make him change his mind. I did that once and then spent three days solid with my ex, going through a roller coaster that was rather hellish, and finally got dumped anyway. And no breakup sex.

That's all. Good luck, hon.

Thanks for the input everyone.

he should be on his way shortly. I've already had to fix my make-up 3 times! I'm not sure if this not crying thing is going to happen :/

I'm so stressed.

I am so sorry to hear about that. don't be nervous. maybe he just wants to talk about something else. I will be thinking of you. just let us know what happened.

Getting dumped does suck.  I agree with the others though...don't try to change his mind.  A joke a friend once told me...

What do you do if your boyfriend walks out?

You shut the door.

:) 

oh jb, i'm sorry...

and it's totally normal to want to look hot.  i would, too...

hmph.  guys suck.

The end of a relationship is not the end of the world.

And if he's gay, can I get his phone number?

So..we didn't end up breaking up.

The whole thing was strange. I'm beginning to think he's bipolar or something!? I'm completely confused about the whole situation, but for now we're good.

I almost broke up with him, because I felt stupid for being with someone who wasn't sure if they wanted to be with me.

...but he assured me he did.

It was all very strange. I'm not completely sure how I'm feeling right now...

Whatever he said and however he behaved he seems to be something of a 'head-messer-upper'... at least for you he is.   You were quite convinced he was going to break up with you.  So either you're a little paranoid or he gave you reason to think that. 

I'd be tempted to give him a wide berth for a week or two.  Let your feelings settle, see what emerges.  Do your own thing more so that he's not the centre of attention.  I don't think it's particularly healthy to stay in a relationship when you're not certain that the person wholeheartedly wants to be with you.... whether it was intentional or not, that's a kind of emotional bullying.

I second what gi-jane said...if you are having doubts then you are getting signals from him on it...so if you arent sure then...back away for a little bit and then see how you feel about your relationship.

Mixed signals are the worst!  You can never feel secure or sure of yourself in that situation.  If the guy is bi-polar or passive aggressive, the situation may never feel settled.  If your inner voice is telling you that something is not right, listen to it!  Do not allow his words to lull you into thinking "change" is coming or happening.  Just watch what he does.  Only his actions matter. 

^This

I can imagine how you feel jblarghp...been in a similar situation. I won't tell you what to do, but in my situation I got tired of the same ol crap and dumped him. Makes me sad to think I wasted 4+ years with the guy.

I am happy that I had the "balls" to leave someone even though I had lots of crying jags and it was scary to be on my own. I knew I deserved better and am now married to a sweet, supportive, sensitive, wonderful and loving guy.

Hope you find peace and serenity...good thoughts sent your way

thats great jb, but i have to agree with jane and dave and madamq and rebecca on this. sounds like a bittersweet victory at best. while its good that you didnt get dumped, the confusion and uncertainty is not giving me any warm fuzzies about your man.

i think its time for some soul searching and a gut check. i personally think you deserve better and the sooner you cut your losses the better.

the ball is in your court. use it to YOUR advantage. you are a smart girl, play it wisely. easy to say, tough to do. stay strong. above all, respect yourself.

(jb)

Just terms clarification: bipolar disorder does NOT mean that people flip-flop their emotions all the time, or are unpredictable, or confused, or confusing. It is a brain disorder that leads to long periods of depression and somewhat briefer periods of mania or hypomania. The mania (or hypomania) has to last at least a whole week to count, and the depression has to last at least two weeks to count. "Rapid-cycling" bipolar means that people have over four mood events a YEAR. People with bipolar disorder, like people with depression, will talk about entire seasons or years when they could barely get out of bed and/or didn't get anything done, or weeks or months when they were talking so fast and working so much that they burned themselves out. We are not talking about "lability of affect" which is the minute-to-minute or day-to-day changes in mood that can happen in people with other disorders. What people often associate with bizarre changes in mood, increased angst, "high-drama" relationships etc. fits more clearly into the personality disorders, especially cluster B disorders.

More information about bipolar disorder and personality disorders here.

I know I'm being nitpicky, but every time I see the word "bipolar" thrown around I feel I need to stand up for actual bipolar people, who don't typically pull this immature asinine bull that causes bystanders to say the word. So when they do try to find relationships, people are put off by this false impression and association.

(And no, I am not bipolar, I am just a med student nerd who is interested in possibly including some psychiatry in my practice).

Glad things turned out, now you can sit back and decide what you want.  I get the impression you're smart enough not to settle.