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I'm 14 and recovering from anorexia. I'm craving chocolate almost everyday and I can't stop myself. Is this normal?

I'm 14 years old and I'm recovering from anorexia. I've been hospitalized and been through treatment. Currently, I weight 97 lbs at 5 feet 2 inches. I know I'm still underweight, but I feel really heavy and I think I should stop gaining weight. I have never started my period which is serious, but I'm stuck between two things. I want to be healthy but I don't want to go over 100 lbs. I feel like I'll be a big fatty pig if I do.

I've been crazing chocolate and I eat a lot of it when I can't help it. Is that okay??? Once, I ate at least 20 of the fun size chocolates, a variety of them: twix, snickers, reeses, crunch, etc. Other times, I've eaten two of the full size chocolates (280 cal) and other things. For some reason, I have a sweet tooth. I eat all three meals, and even when I'm NOT hungry, I eat chocolate or sweet foods. Is this okay? I'm really worried about becoming all fatty and overweight. My parents say it's because my body is telling me I need the fat so to go ahead and eat it if I want but to never skip meals to exchange for the calorie intake. I'm scared and confused. Please help.

But this girl ate only 2000 calories. I'm eating way over that.

At breakfast, I was dying for chocolate so I ate some chocolate cake-like package, strawberry cream cookies, and another type of cookie (2), and then also a full-size snickers. D: And then after that, my parents MADE me eat a REAL breakfast so I had to eat an Asiago bagle with cream cheese. That's over 1000 calories! And then I ate lunch and then I kept on eating chocolate, cookies, and just anything sweet. I feel horrible D:

Please help.

It doesnt matter how many calories are eaten. A binge is a binge and the reasons for it are usually the same. At least from what I read on this post and the other the reasons are about the same.

I suppose. Even though I'm NOT hungry, I just want to eat it. Is it okay to? Am I doing the wrong thing? Should I just listen to my body?

No food should be viewed forbidden in recovery. But what you must try to manage is a balance of foods: the "good" and the "bad." Yes, you can have chocolate each day if you want it. You will not just gain all fat. You're doing nothing wrong and it's fine. An ideal base number to gain weight on is 2500 calories, which you will likely be achieving right now (especially with your parents' help, and you should feel blessed they are helping you) so you're getting your metabolism in working order for later life, too.

If you want to be healthy that means a healthy weight to regain or begin your period. The dangers of prolonged underweight weight maintainance and undereating: osteoporosis, of loss of fertility if you lose your period, hair loss, electrolyte problems, a weakening of the immune system, low blood pressure, blood disorders such as anemia, heart problems, and even death. From The Body Neglected: Between 5% and 20% of people who develop [anorexia] eventually die from it. The mental woes that come alongside can be just as devestating. Depression is common in undereaters as well as distorted perceptions and problems like Body Dysmorphic Disorder.

So you need to gain to a healthy weight for your range - typically, a BMI of 20.

I'm just so scared. I know I should eat and sometimes, like now, when I think about all the years (at least 2 years, almost 3) I've restricted myself to chocolate, it's normal for me to want chocolate so much. But going over 100 is like a nightmare. I want to grow taller and be normal, but that's just what I'm saying, not really meaning it. I don't know if I can trust myself or not.

And yes, I am stressed all the time, especially from school. I'm sort of a perfectionist and want to get straight A's in every subject, which is hard because I moved to a new district and am having difficulty adjusting to the high standards that I must meet. I'm not terrified of food, I eat it when I want to, but the problem is that I start feeling guilty which is NOT good. I don't want to be hospitalized again because I've already been there and it's NO fun at all. It's terrifying. D:

I'm just unstable right now. It's really hard for me to decide. My parents say that they'll help me to become healthy and not to worry about becoming overweight. I love running and sports, but I haven't ran in almost a year. I was excused from PE in the middle of 8th grade because of my weight loss. I was at the least 72 lbs in 8th grade. And at the most 110 lbs when I was in 5th grade. I was fairly chubby then, and I think I overate. But now, I don't feel like running or doing anything, just eating. I feel so lazy and that if I keep eating like this and not exercising, I'll become fat and overweight and have to go through dieting AGAIN! It's so stressful sometimes I really wish my life would end, just to escape from it all. My parents say it's because I don't have enough energy and my body is telling me to rest and relax. But how is that possible???!!! I've have PLENTY of energy. I bet I'm eating over 4000 calories almost everyday!!!! Like today, I ate so much chocolate. I can bet I ate at least 2000 calories worth of chocolate and sweets, on top of that breakfast and lunch D:

I really don't know what to do. Is it okay to let my body control me and do as it's telling me to behave? Is that the right way to go?

I know how you feel.

I've been battling ED's for a few years, and its not fun:/. I feel like lifes pointless and I dont know what to do anymore. Im 14, and the top in my class, and taking AP classes of everything which is soooooo stressful.

My advice would be to just let yourself relax and eat alot. I know you feel guilty eating so many sweets but thats what NORMAL teenagers our age do once in awhile!! Then after a few months or however long it takes you to gain (which im assuming your trying to do) you can start maintaining and excersizing again!

Your parents are just worried and want you to be healthy so listen to them!

Best of luck x3

Please don't start purging alot.

Believe me i've been down that road, and its not good!!!

(I dont normally post on cc or talk about my ED, but I felt like I had to, because I know how you feel and everything)

Since todays over with plan something out tommarow but plan it HEALTHIER, and with calorie dense things so you dont feel too full (resulting in purging). And be sure to add chocolate in there if you want it!! Oh, and dont skip meals your in recovery every calorie is beneficial to you now you NEED it, and your body will eventually thank you for eating more.

I dont want to go to school either, but unfortunatley i have a social studies test that i cant miss . But if you dont feel well then its fine taking a day off school! Just start over tommarow an try to forget about today, focus on being healthy.

Oh I know I went to a really neat japanease resteraunt with my aunt months ago. And I specifically told the cook guy to make my chicken WITHOUT oil, teryaki sauce, or butter. And I got it ate a little bit of it (assuming it was only about 300 cals of chicken) and then my aunt said oh i see he did put the teriyaki sauce on, and oh my I freaked out. I started crying because I thought I ate like 1000 calories and my aunt made me finish it while I was crying.

I feel fat today too because I ate over today, and horrible but im going to wake up tommarow as a new day and not restrict, i wont restrict, i wont restrict. And then tommarow night my favorite tv show gossip girl is on so tommarows going to be a good day.

If you are craving chocolate, maybe you should just try plain chocolate. Candy bars, for me at least, are like diluted chocolate - they have a little for flavor, but not enough for satisfaction. I find I eat more of them because of that.

The good thing about chocolate it is it's a known antidepressant. It increases the amount of serotonin in your brain. So I guess it's good for you. :)

I won't pretend to have any experience in anorexia, which may or may not invalidate what I say, but maybe I can suggest this - find a different goal for your body other than weight. You seem to be competitive and success driven, which are good things. Perhaps you can take your talents and strive towards a new goal? You've mentioned that you previously did well in PE - what about setting a record there? Find the fastest speed the girl in Varsity ran in your school, and set your mind and work to beat that. Or pick whatever sport you prefer and decide to compete at that.

I cannot promise it would work, but I have found, that in my experience, the body rebels against a diet that will not match its needs. Your  body will need food to build muscles, and it will want you to eat. And as you work hard to your new goal, you may not care what you weight, because you have a new standard of fitness to meet.

I wish you luck in your journey, whatever means you decide to employ, and hope the best for your health.

The problem is, I don't know if my parents will allow me to miss a day of school. I do have two quizzes tomorrow, but I can always make them up on Tuesday and Wednesday during lunch. I've missed one full day of school and 5 days of going to school but then coming back home from August 26th. That's not so bad compared to others. But I don't think my parents will think that I have a 'good enough' excuse to not go to school. I truly am super tired, however, my parents, especially my dad, won't believe me. He says that I don't have to go to school but he won't write me an excuse. That means I'll have a truancy and will affect my citizenship grade. D:

Is it okay NOT to go to school. My stomach hurts really badly, probably because I overate D: guilty, guilty conscience. I KNOW IT! D':

I'm probably not going to go to school tomorrow. I really need to calm myself with a few books and relax. I think that will be okay, right? Afterall, I do need to listen to my body....

I think you need to talk to your parents and your doctors about a better plan for recovery if you're going to do this properly.  And you need to take a much more active role, get yourself better informed, contribute to decision-making more than you're doing and work with everyone positively....  a team effort.  If you remain passive, feeling you're just having things 'done to you', not really accepting that weight-gain is important, it's not going to help you progress.  The situation sounds quite heightened emotionally and everyone has to work to calm it down and take things forward constructively - especially you. 

It's not necessary to feel hungry in order to eat the next meal.  When your appetite has been suppressed for a long time with an eating disorder you have to build it back with regular meals and regular snacks... day in day out until things are back to normal. 

Chocolate is not a bad thing.  If you're eating lots of other different foods as well, chocolate is a perfectly good part of a healthy diet.  Oils, butters and fats are also really important for your health.  Some important vitamins are only fat-soluble so if you don't get any, you're missing out on important vitamins.   All calories from all foods are useful for you....

If you 'feel fat' and are very close to the edge emotionally that can be a result of not eating properly.  Nutrition affects our brain-function, our peception and starvation/malnutrition can cause mood-swings and depression.  So as you continue to eat regularly, eat better and to get up to a healthy weight your brain will benefit as much as your body.

The fatigue you may need to talk to a doctor about.  Fatigue can be caused by lack of sleep or stress (and you sound fairly stressed).  But it's also caused by lack of energy (calories) and certain nutritional deficiencies.  If you don't get enough iron and vitamin C, for example, you can become anaemic and feel very tired all the time.  So talk to your parents about that - maturely, calmly, rationally - and see if you can come up with a solution.  Good luck

Purging, even just once, can kill you. It can result in an electrolyte imbalance that will throw off your heart and cause cardiac arrest. You also put yourself at risk of tooth decay due to stomach acid eroding enamel, dehydration, amenorrhea - or loss of period, arrhythmias and scarring of your hands. It can also lead to the tearing of the esophagus, and the stomach.

If you are not out to get better then CC cannot and will not help you. I strongly advise, instead, you go back to your parents, and to your team, and tell them what you've done. This is something a website cannot help you with.

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