i'm scared :[

i have been recovering from anorexia/bulimia for the past 2 years now. my parentals have decided that if i don't gain 10 lbs by the start of my sophmore year they are going to put me in inpatient. i'm so scared :[. i like the way i look at 97 lbs [ well of course i do... that's just the way my messed up mind is working atm ]. i've been trying to eat more since the school year ended but my tummy doesn't want to keep the food down and i'm always feeling bloated and tired. i'm still allowed to work out a little because i am in a troupe of belly dancers with my mommy and aunt. is 10 lbs as much as i mind is making it? it's seems like a helluva lot to me!

10 lbs is about what most adult women's weight varies each month due to water retention and hormones.  It's truly not that much.  If you can't gain it then a residential treatment center might be the right place for you as scary as it sounds to you.

Nuts are a great way to get the calories and healthy fats in.  Peanut butter, avocado, olive oil, cheese, etc.

thank you that makes me feel a little better

haha :]

You're welcome.  I know that you're restricted from exercise, but could you arrange to do some weight lifting?  You might feel a bit better about gaining weight if some of it is muscle.  You might need to wait until you do gain those 10 pounds, but having muscle is healthy and it's kind of fun.

hey :) in recovery, often some of the weight gained at first actually goes to repairing your insides, so i have read. meaning all the organs and things you have damaged by starving, or being at a low weight. also because you do belly dancing, youll probably gain muscle. 10lbs isnt that much and you will probably just look much healthier :) when i gained my first few lbs from being around your weight, no one actually noticed i'd gotten any bigger/gained weight, but commented that i looked healthier, my face didn't look so drawn, and i didnt look so 'scary' etc etc. good luck! :) xxx

I thought I might as well post, seeing as everyone here is so positive - in ED groups it's hard to find.

So..... My review is in 5 days, and if I haven't gained, Dr Jaffa will kill me; not literally, but I'll get a massive talking down to, especially as at my last review I promised I would try harder. ANd he looked at me dubiously.

I've been promising to 'try harder' for about 2 years.

Thing is, on the days I do 'try hard', it's generally stuffing myself because I'm worried about weigh in's and whatnot, and then on the other days I feel really bad about trying and eating more then expected of me, so I restrict. All in all, I end up maintaining or losing. Which sucks. It's strange when losing becomes as frightening as gaining. I am banned from practically all excercise, except an hour ballet and cycling to school (and that's a week's worth) and am expected to be eating around 2200 a day - last week, I was having 1840 and I lost 0.3kg, and couldn't go for a ballet course audition :(.

Thing is, with my eating habits, I've only 'averaged' 1750 a day, and when I try to have more, demons shoot me down. I know the solution - I need to eat more to gain - but you've all been in the position when every fibre in your body is telling you 'yes, it's ok to eat less, nothing bad will become of it, it's all fine...'. I want to be more muscly, and stronger, and beautiful, and i know I'm holding myself back, I'm just scared that all the weight i gain will be fat, especially as my stepdad won't teach me any strength training excercises  until I start to gain (I'm 14, so how would I know these things - it's not like they teach you in PE).

 I've have to gain 5.4kg before anyone will consider discharging me or letting me have my life back and dance..... anyone have any help? Food ideas (I'm vegan - anything interesting with peanut butter is welcome)? Protein/carb/fat ratios? Excercise? General help? Sorry it's such a sermon... I haven't felt people would understand anywhere else, and when you start getting it off your chest.... it's like the floodgates are opened!

Good luck with your own battles xsaviexhaircorex

sorry i'm barging in on your thread - it seems to have attracted some helpful people though

Original Post by peanut_butter:

Food ideas (I'm vegan - anything interesting with peanut butter is welcome)? 

i loooove peanut butter! i'll never ever get bored of peanut butter and banana sandwiches, peanut butter in oatmeal (made with soya milk perhaps), you could even try putting peanut butter in a smoothie. 

one thing i've never tried though but i thought might be a good idea.. you know chicken satay? when i was a lot younger and still eat meat i used to have chunks of chicken on a stick with a peanutty satay sauce all over it.. yum.. i'm not sure how to make satay sauce but if you look up a recipe, you could try that with chunks of tofu :D! 

good luck in your recovery, check out all the recovery threads in the 'Health & Support' section. xx