I'm scared

I thought I was doing well with this maintaining thing.. I thought everything was good, but turns out.. I'm scared... and I don't know if I should be.

I'm scared of gaining weight.
I'm scared of losing weight.

I met my goal just over a month ago. I thought great.. now I can just stay there. It'll be easy.

I ended up losing three more pounds. I didn't want to lose more weight. Now I have to figure out how to put on a few pounds of muscle 'cause I'm too scrawny in the shoulder region.

But I'm scared. I'm afraid that if I eat the same and exercise more, I might get skinnier.. I'm afraid that if I eat more, then I'll gain fat instead of muscle. Not that a wee bit of fat would kill me, but it's still scary.

I need advice. I need to learn how to gain muscle. I need some good upper body workouts. I need to not think about my food TOO much.

I need to not be scared.

I think this is something we're all going to have to face.  I think we get so used to the idea of HAVING to lose that we can't stop that feeling.  I wish I had some advice for you...other than eat plenty of protein and join a gym?  Sorry i can't be of too much help...but we are here if you need to talk to anyone :)

Is it an unhealthy fear?  Cause sometimes we need a healthy fear of food.

I actually have a gym membership... I've been going to the gym for about 2 and a half years.

Have you only done cardio?  If so, ask one of the big meatheads
there to give you some good upper body exercises!  The people at
my gym were very helpful to me if I had any questions!  Even if it
costs a few extra bucks, a meal and lifting plan would be a good thing.

i am not an expert and definitely far away from my goal but you probably should slightly increase your calorie intake. And to avoid gaining fat, try to increase your cal by eating more fruits and veggies. For the building muscle part, i don't know. I guess finewine's advice of asking the people at the gym is a good idea.

i can understand it must be scary to go into the maintainance phase.

be strong!
 

I know exactly how you feel. As a wise woman once said (saro, of course)

I know how to lose weight. I know how to gain weight. I don't know how to maintain a weight.

I'm scared too.

thanks, guys.

This weekend I'm up at a campground all weekend and I'm going to attempt to not worry about food. I'll get some exercise while I'm there, that's for sure.

viczan, i'm in the same boat as you.  i stopped weighing compulsively, and still dropped two pounds below my end goal.  okay, now i want to maintain at this weight.  i figure i must be burning more cals than i thought, so yesterday i tried really hard to get up to 2000 calories.  my fats were still a little too high, but i think i'll need to do this for a week, and see what happens.   let's not get stressed over it, just add a couple of extra things.  like i put peanut butter on my toast one morning.  stuff like that.  i really want to get to where i just know by instinct how much to put on my plate, but i figure it will take about six more months to do that.  i think for maintenance, we have to be just as patient as for weight loss.  it's all about educating ourselves.  i just might go back to everyday weighing, too.  prob. just as important now.    

thanks, elin.

I still weigh myself at least twice a week. I've been pretty much maintaining what I'm at right now, weight-wise, but I want to gain a bit of muscle.

And yeah.. have to try not to stress.

I know where you're at viczan, been there myself.  First, you already know to not stress about it (of course SAYING we're not going to stress out is always so much easier than actually not stressing out!).  Know that you didn't lose it in a day, and you won't put it back on in a day either.  Healthy lifestyle changes got you where you wanted to be, and they'll keep you there,  you just need a little tweaking.

To put on muscle you'll probably need to up your calories.  Weight training requires fuel.  Good fuel.  Just like what's needed to lose weight.  Fruits, veggies, protein throughout the day, whole grains, good fats, water, good multi vitamin.  Be willing to experiment a little...a few more calories, maybe a little more protein. 

Now then, weight training for those scrawny shoulders: dumbbell shoulder press, push ups, upright rows, lateral raises...tons of stuff.  Here's a good start (Shape magazine is a great resource):

http://www.shape.com/workouts/?action=workout finder&bodypart=Shoulders

If you haven't seriously weight trained before think about getting a few sessions with a good personal trainer to get you started off on the right foot. 

From your pics you've got a great lean physique for weight training, you'll see results pretty fast!

I had a decent workout today. I was at the gym for an hour and a half, half an hour was cardio and then the other hour was upper body and abs in the weight room. I feel good. Gotta up the protein, though. I'll be looking for good ways to do that.

I feel the same way you do!!!  I start obsessing over my weight.  Watching and counting every calorie, I put into my mouth.  I so scared to lose weight because I know I?m going to hate myself when I gain it back. 

I have been at my goal now for about two months, and what i've found is that although may weight goes up and down(stress, party's, heavy workouts) my running average weight has only flutuated about one pound(my weight has jump as much as 5 pounds at a time)

Do you use the daily weight log in on the website? It keeps a running average(the green line on the graph) which reflects your true weight better.

Maintaining can be tough but remember, you got it off once and if you splurge just get on your bike and ride an extra hour(600 calories burned just like that).  As far as lossing too much just like others have said, add a little something, veges, fruit, maybe some honey on your toast.

Dan

And I thought I was the only one!!!!  I have been at maintenance for a while now but ended up losing 4 pounds more than I intended to.  I kept everything the same thinking I could just up my food intake.  My daughter came for a visit and told me I looked scrawny.  So I quit working out all together and now I've gained the 4 lbs back plus 2 more.  I guess I'm just going to have to work on it until I get it figured out.  It is so frustrating.  And every time I see the scale go up I cringe and hate it.  I am just glad to know I'm not the only one.  When I first headed into maintenance I was afraid.  It is so much harder than actually dieting.  I don't know what the happy medium is.

you're right... It *is* harder to maintain. I'm not quite so scared anymore, but I'm still finding it difficult to figure out how to gain some muscle and not get skinnier. I think I might be finally getting it, though.

I'm not worrying as much about the calories anymore. I'm still logging almost everything, but if I go out for drinks or something at night I'll just check to see what I'm at before I leave and then roughly guess to allow myself however many drinks I should have. And if someone offers me a bit of their nachos, I'm having a few!

losing more. *pinches you* I haven't lost anything weightwise since June.

actually, I haven't lost pounds, but I've lost inches. so I'm mostly getting tighter and more toned. I'll take it. :P

*pinch* *pinch* *pinch*

I just had to get you back... :)

and losing inches.. that's good stuff. tight and toned. YAY!

I'm really the same. I'm trying to maintain and Im completely paranoid about gaining any weight at all, and more then that, paranoid about gaining fat. However, I dont want to lose anymore weight because my family is breathing down my neck and watching me eat and how much I run, and my counsellor is beginning to get serious about my weight, and I dont wish to worry anybody.
Now my weight is sort of losing then gaining then losing then gaining a pound or so on a regular basis, my stomache feels bigger (even though I havent gained alot and I tend to go back down anyway) and I have been a little more flexible with what I eat.
:S I have so much more going on in my life to worry about then my weight.. but because of this, it tends to be one of the prominent things on my mind :S

i know where you're coming from!! i lost 35 pounds in the course of 9 months, and i ended up now weighing 100 lbs at 5"4'.  I have lost all my DD chest essentially, and I am scrawny.  i have upped my cals from 1200 to 1500ish, but i am so scared to eat any more than that (a dietitian told me to eat 1700ish a day, but that seems like a lot for my size!)  i'm scared of withering away, but i'm so scared to put a lot of weight back on.  i'm afraid if i gain 5-10 healthy pounds, the other that i lost will creep back on!

Were all in this boat, trust me. I haven't really been able to maintain myself very well at all. I bounce around but I really SHOULD be gaining.