I'm Shallow. What's your problem?

After reading a post about someone getting rejected over their physical appearance I came to the conclusion that I am a very shallow person. Especially when it comes to physical appearance. So that would probably be my biggest fault. I -do- judge books by their cover.

I try to hide it. My husband calls me on it sometimes, it really embarrasses me. I just can't help it. It's really odd that something that I do would be so compulsory. Why would I make judgements about other people that make me sad to make those judgements?

 So being shallow is my secret shame, what's yours?

When I don't try to keep it in in check, I can have a tendency to zone out and occupy myself with other thoughts when people start talking about stuff that doesn't really apply to me or I find uninteresting.  All day departmental meetings are a real challenge for me.

Recognizing a weakness is a good thing, though - now make a plan on what you can do to overcome it.  

I wouldn't think I'm shallow, but I do think it's natural for the way a person looks/dresses to impact your first impression. Appearance also plays a part in attraction - we aren't attracted to everyone we meet, and that's natural and ok.

For me, being shallow is acting on that first impression - refusing to get to know someone, assuming that there is any kind of correlation between appearance and personality, thinking someone is inferior because of the way they look.

Perhaps you could work on trying to catch yourself when you judge people by their looks, and just give yourself a gentle reminder that you might just be wrong!

My secret shame? Hmm, I'm not ashamed of anything but I certainly have traits I'm not proud of either. The big one is I'm unreliable - I have a lot of mental health issues and I often let down friends, family, work, study and social commitments because of it. I procrastinate a lot. I'm not nearly as active about social issues I deeply care about as I think I should be. I'm bad at keeping in touch with friends in real life.

Eh, nobody's perfect. There are lots of good things about all of us too.

Sometimes I joke with people when I start bragging on and on and go like,"it is so hard to be humble when you are perfect" :) .

I hear people all the time saying that nobody is perfect and things like that...but I do not understand it...I think I am some sort of a perfectionist myself...but the perfection I seek is sort of chaotic...and messed-up...

It is strange yes and I am not sure if that makes sense to you but it is chaotic in the sense that I try to be the exact way I want to be...and that for me,is perfect...not what is perfect for everyone and anyone else...nah...

so on the same trend,I do not see any flaws in myself...and that can be a flaw in itself...'cause I am on a continuous journey on bettering myself and improving my mind...my body...my soul...

Anyways,and of course I am shallow...but I see that as natural...and...hmmm...I do not think it is a bad thing to care a lot about how you look or tell things about a person from how they look...

...

You should know fat women are the best, especially in bed.  We don't know when we're gonna get laid again, so we go hard and will let you do stuff beautiful girls won't.

Original Post by runesplendor:

You should know fat women are the best, especially in bed.  We don't know when we're gonna get laid again, so we go hard and will let you do stuff beautiful girls won't.

Thanks for the tip.

Original Post by trhawley:

Original Post by runesplendor:

You should know fat women are the best, especially in bed.  We don't know when we're gonna get laid again, so we go hard and will let you do stuff beautiful girls won't.

Thanks for the tip.

 Oh also, you know we eat well and we're warm in winter.  But maybe that's a Canadian thing.

LMAO, I dropped 50 lbs and now I freeze to death. It IS a Canadian thing runey!

Original Post by runesplendor:

You should know fat women are the best, especially in bed.  We don't know when we're gonna get laid again, so we go hard and will let you do stuff beautiful girls won't.

 I about died when I read this. Too funny!!  My tummy hurts now!

Original Post by runesplendor:

You should know fat women are the best, especially in bed.  We don't know when we're gonna get laid again, so we go hard and will let you do stuff beautiful girls won't.

You complete me. :D

Original Post by runesplendor:

You should know fat women are the best, especially in bed.  We don't know when we're gonna get laid again, so we go hard and will let you do stuff beautiful girls won't.

 But what if you are beautiful and fat....  :(

my bff and I have realized we are awful people. Say we are out to dinner some where and some one wearing a crazy hat comes in or in general isnt very attractive, we would sit and just rip the person apart. Mainly my bff would do more damage cause i think she has lower self esteem than I. I myself am shallow too when it comes to dating. I need an attractive guy also. My b'f of 5 yrs is extremely handsome/hott. He has grown a belly though but so have I. I guess thats what happens when you love some one a little fat is ok. we've told each other we'd humilitate the other if we let our weight go to the point of us looking like our parents.

Anyway like the OP I am shallow too. Also I zone out like santonacci, only because I have a friend that likes to hear herself talk especially about her job. Ive gotten so used to zoning her out that I do it to every one and I feel bad but oh well.

Original Post by gem86:

my bff and I have realized we are awful people. Say we are out to dinner some where and some one wearing a crazy hat comes in or in general isnt very attractive, we would sit and just rip the person apart. Mainly my bff would do more damage cause i think she has lower self esteem than I.

Haha, my husband and I do this.  Or, rather, he rips them apart, and I sit there trying not to laugh and trying to get him to shut up at the same time.  He makes up the funniest insults.

I suppose my biggest problem is that I'm inconsistent.  Things that bother me immensely one day, I will brush off as no big deal at a later date.  It depends on my mood/outlook at the time.  I realize everyone is like this to some degree, but the extremes I swing between are worrying, and I'd imagine it makes it hard for people to know how I'm going to react to things. 

Original Post by gem86:

we've told each other we'd humilitate the other if we let our weight go to the point of us looking like our parents.

Eh? I'd hate that! My boyfriend and I agreed to love each other no matter how much the other weighed, although if one of us gets seriously obese I'm allowed to stop buying him Pringles, and he's allowed to stop buying me chocolate-covered caramels. Works for us.

I suppose my biggest problem is that I'm inconsistent.  Things that bother me immensely one day, I will brush off as no big deal at a later date.  It depends on my mood/outlook at the time.  I realize everyone is like this to some degree, but the extremes I swing between are worrying, and I'd imagine it makes it hard for people to know how I'm going to react to things. 

 that's me too... poor hubby!

Original Post by merylwhite1:

Original Post by gem86:

we've told each other we'd humilitate the other if we let our weight go to the point of us looking like our parents.

Eh? I'd hate that! My boyfriend and I agreed to love each other no matter how much the other weighed, although if one of us gets seriously obese I'm allowed to stop buying him Pringles, and he's allowed to stop buying me chocolate-covered caramels. Works for us.

 Well not exactly humiliate just pretty much be blunt and tell the other that their fat and need to lose weight. I dont think either of us will get fat though cause  I do all the cooking and I wont eat terrible mainly cause of my acid reflux and that is a pain that Id like to not feel everyday of my life.

Original Post by santonacci:

When I don't try to keep it in in check, I can have a tendency to zone out and occupy myself with other thoughts when people start talking about stuff that doesn't really apply to me or I find uninteresting.  All day departmental meetings are a real challenge for me.

Recognizing a weakness is a good thing, though - now make a plan on what you can do to overcome it.  

I do this too when something is uninteresting. I also procrastinate a lot these days, no focus. That's bad.

To be honest emily... I think a lot of people are shallow! But not everyone admits it. Props to those who are honest and blatant about it

I get called shallow all the time.. but I'm not a judger. I'm just honest!

I'm indecisive.   In fact, I've written an example 4 times now and can't decide which one to send so I won't send any.  Uggh, I hate it. 

I'm sensitive.

Your shallowness chafes.

I'm shallow.

Ex: Recently I've been looking for grad schools....and have found that I judge them by their websites.  If it's not pretty and well-organized it's crossed off my list.

I eavesdrop.

Not really a problem for me, but I'll admit it would probably be frowned upon if people knew :)  I blame it on the fact that I'm quite observant.