im starting to feel really depressed...

I'm feeling really horrible for everything that I eat. And then at night putting everything into my calorie log makes me feel even worse. I HATE my fat, and feel extremely ugly and stressed when the scale says anything over 120. :[ I really don't want to feel this way but I don't know how to avoid it.

Do you have a counselor or therapist to talk to?

You are a lovely young woman and your body needs calories for fuel to do it's job.  If you're eating enough, you shouldn't feel any guilt.

I would love to have somebody to talk to about this. Since I was 13 I've had self image issues and gone through a ton of depression and stress. I am 17, so unfortunately there isn't much I can do without my parents for the next couple months. They have always refused to take me to a therapist or psychologist [part money issues, and part because THEY think nothing is wrong with me]

I've been eating about 1500-2200 calories a day for the last month or so. At a time I ONLY ate meals and nothing else [sometimes that did not include breakfast] and I lost 14 pounds and was down to 114. But I'm just gaining it all back as of right now.

I think you seen to see someone. Are you in HS, college? They have staff that can help you. If not -- how about seeing your Dr. -- not that he/she can help you right away, but they can refer you to a counselor. If your parent's won't step up to the plate, you need to go around them. They are right in a sense -- that you do not have a weight problem. But they are also wrong because your own preception tells you that you do have a weight problem...

Honestly dear, 120 is not big at all by any means. I think that your pictures look great. You are so pretty. I seriously believe that this is all in your head. Coming from someone who has dealt with more eating issues than anything else, please don't let this consume your life. You are young, vibrant, and I am sure you just want to be happy. Be happy with you....remember you live for love right? Love yourself!

I'm going to college this summer and I'm also getting my license and such around the same time. So, untill then I'm pretty much trapped in my house and gotta figure things out on my own. But thanks for all the nice comments :] I'm going to try to eat healthier and see if that helps me feel any better about myself. I'm sure it will, eating less always makes me feel better. But then in the long run I always gain it all back and it was pointless anyway lol

Original Post by queend3ad:

I'm feeling really horrible for everything that I eat. And then at night putting everything into my calorie log makes me feel even worse. I HATE my fat, and feel extremely ugly and stressed when the scale says anything over 120. :[ I really don't want to feel this way but I don't know how to avoid it.

 

i can TOTALLY relate to how u r feeling right now. I'm having a difficult time as well

Well I'm glad to know that there are people out there that are going through the exact same thing :] It's a good thing, yet horrible thing at the same time. I hope we can feel better about ourselves... and very soon.

 I'm going to try to eat healthier and see if that helps me feel any better about myself. I'm sure it will, eating less always makes me feel better. But then in the long run I always gain it all back and it was pointless anyway lol

 First of all, I also think that you look pretty dang amazing in all of your pictures! NEVER equate eating healthier with eating less. They are NOT the same thing! I am absolutely sure that you will feel better about yourself eating healthier- but that means treating yourbody right. Eat what CC suggests and do so incorporating lots of whole grains, fruits, vegetables, and lean meats. The best thing is, by following a sensible, not super restrictive diet, you not only don't screw up your metabolism, but you're FAR less likely to gain the weight back. I guarantee that you will feel your energy skyrocket! Best of luck being Healthy!! 

Original Post by queend3ad:

I'm feeling really horrible for everything that I eat. And then at night putting everything into my calorie log makes me feel even worse. I HATE my fat, and feel extremely ugly and stressed when the scale says anything over 120. :[ I really don't want to feel this way but I don't know how to avoid it.

 hey easy! You are talking about being fat while you look quite nice already. You shouldn't stress yourself that much! If your cal intake really stays above 1500 a day, then you're doing it the right way. You shouldn't be worrying about your weight all the time. Instead look into the mirror and see the changes. weight fluctuates over time, I also had times when I weighted up to three pounds more than I had the other day, that's why you shouldn't get on teh scale everyday.

 About your self esteem problems: I don't really know why you have them, you look really good and you should be proud of it! You're going through a hard time judging from your age, but you will get over it! If you want to improve your self confidence then just look at yourself in the mirror and accept yourself. You really can, cause you are a beautiful girl, no need to be shy or underconfident about it. also remind yourself as often as possible, that most people are like you, too much obsessed about what others think about them, they simply don't have the time to think about you at all, because they are worried enough about their own!  And even if they think about you, most of them will be jealous that you can walk arround with your head up high and wondering how you can be that confident about yourself while they can't. Just think about the feeling you will have, it's easy, keep your head up and show them that you're more than worth, walking arround your town, proud of yourself :)

Thank you :]

On some days I am confident but on other's I'm not. It's like my feelings toward that fluctuates just as often as my weight does. Ugh...

I was just thinking today about how when I'm not mindful of what I eat, and when I eat food that isn't really healthy, it makes me feel depressed. Kind of a bad cycle because the more I get depressed the more I reach for the unhealthy food! And so it goes. But if I can get to eating healthy again, my mood shifts and things are better. Also I find that physical exercise helps keep me in a better frame of mind, feeling good about myself.

So I can relate to what you are saying too! Only I don't have the self-esteem problems. But eh, I have other problems! Life problems seem to be determined by what age we're at in life :) Eat lots of fruit, vegetables, whole grains. Stay away from too much salty stuff, sugary stuff, and white flour products. Drink lots of pure water too.

Appreciate yourself and relax!

haha! I could live off fruit.. I love that stuff. I took a walk today with a friend and that made me feel a little bit better. It was one of those really really long walks. :]