I'm stuck.

So here are my basic stats.

I'm a 5'6'' female currently weighing in at around 105 lbs.

I've been trying (unsuccessfully) to gain weight for a whileeee....probably around 2 years, when I unconciously lost alot of weight due to overexcercise (I would have 2 hours of track practice followed by 2 more hours of soccer practice around 5-6 days a week!) I would not necessarily diagnose myself with an "eating disorder" because I don't really fear foods or any sort, but I am very concious of my eating/caloric intake. I've just recently stopped playing sports...to cut down on my exercise. (Also, I prefer to exercise on my own..so I can do it healthfully...and it's not a forced/hated activity).

It's hard to convince myself to gain weight because I don't necessarily "look" unhealthy...I am generally very muscular, my hair and nails are healthy, etc. etc. But mentally I know I should probably gain the weight..plus my parents are on my back constantly...

Here is where my problem arises. I can't seem to figure out how to gain weight! I have fallen into a very..bad cycle. My parents are so pushy about my weight gain, I feel as if I have to eat LOAAAAAADS in front of them or else they get mad. The only meal that I eat with them (generally) is dinner. So I've fallen into this trap where I barely eat throughout the day, so I can eat a HUGE DINNER AND DESSERT (which usually brings me to a grand total of 2500 calories at the end of the day). Then I wake up the next morning..stuffed..and never wanting to eat again.

For example yesterday my dinner consisted of (out to dinner at an italian place)

2 glasses of coke, 2 pieces of bread doused in olive oil, entire huge bowl of pasta with chicken, cheese, mushrooms, and tomato cream sauce, and entire chocolate dream dessert that looks like this (see below)

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_I8SyiXYp9zc/SYujMw6 KLII/AAAAAAAAB5E/crMdvQ-knOw/s320/carrabba%27 s+Chocolate+Dream.jpg

..pretty much.

I need help.

this cycle can't go on.

I want to gain weight and just get this over with. 2 years stuck at 105 is too long..I need my period. ack! I need advice. I'm afraid my metabolism is shot.

skittles: i can assure you that at 105 pounds and 5'6 you do look unhealthy and you do not see your body as it truly is. i would suggest that you talk to your parents about what you're doing. being honest is going to be key to you breaking this cycle. this pattern is not getting you any closer to your goal of gaining weight because in all you haven't been consuming enough calories to gain, and you're trying to maintain the balance that's keeping you at the weight you're at now. you have to accept the weight gain which you say you have but your actions paint a very different picture.

ACCEPTANCE AND HONESTY IS GOING TO BE KEY F0R YOU. you have to want to get better or you never will. others can't impose their will on you because you will divert the goal and find a way to please others while also pleasing yourself, this is what the ED can do to your thoughts and actions.  just try to overcome it. break the pattern by eating a large meal early in the day and when it comes time to eat in front of your parents you know you'll have to so already you're winning against the ED. just make small changes and be honest about what you're struggling with.

chrissy right you need to talk to your parents and tell them how you are feeling i would strongly suggest that you see a theapist and dietican is this available to you ? welcome anyway youve come to the right place for support h xxx

I agree, you have to talk to your parents. With parents, they want to help, but sometimes the way they go about it is not helpful. I know, I am one!:-)

Break it down for them. Tell them how it makes you feel and tell them that you want to be able to have responsibility. Tell them your feelings about weight gain and that you support it, but that you want to do it in a way that doesn't make you feel trapped or uncomfortable. Tell them that the pressure to eat and the feeling like you're bingeing every night can lead to really bad things. Promise you will be balanced and follow through.

Also, you may be overestimating a bit. On nights when you stay home with them, you're probably not eating 2,500. It's not good for your body to have that all at once. You need to be square with them.

i agree too.. it'll be hard.. but explain that you know they're worried about you but that you've finally got to the stage where you're worried too..

tell them you want to eat throughout the day so you can eat little and often and not feel overly full at dinner time.. (i don't know but i can imagine that is a difficult feeling for someone who finds it hard to eat)

perhaps for a while you could promise to tell them what you've eaten that day.. that may be feel awkward but it could build the trust that you all need between you so they can believe that you are looking after yourself.

I'm so pleased for you that you are in a place where you want to do this for yourself.. that's a really big step and you should be proud of yourself!

if you can't say the words.. maybe show them your post.. but break your silence and let them know you care about your weight and your health xx

Hey I had practically the same stats a couple months ago except I am 5'7". Now I currently weigh around 110, which is still low. but it is really important to have your parents understand your situation. 

If they want to know what you are eating, perhaps you could make a meal plan with them for the day that totals to over 2,500. Therefore, you could spread out the calories rather than eating most of them at night. Eat every 2-3 hours and make sure to have a snack in between your sports practices! 

I also have similar stats to you, I'm 20 yrs old, 5'6" and my weigh fluctuates usually from 100 to 103, so I'm not going to comment saying you most likely look bad and/or unhealthy because that'd be hypocritical.   I think you should just try eating more through out the day and just let your parents know that you are doing that, then they won't expect you to eat as much at that meal.  Because by eating so much at dinner, if it is making you stuffed..then your not eating through out the day which makes things even worse.  You need to eat a few meals through out the day and make sure your parents know, so they won't expect you to eat so much at dinner.

I suggest looking through the what did you eat threads because theres usually alot of different meals which also list calories and you could get ideas from there on what you could eat to bump up your calories for other meals.

Original Post by skittles2424:

So here are my basic stats.

I'm a 5'6'' female currently weighing in at around 105 lbs.

I've been trying (unsuccessfully) to gain weight for a whileeee....probably around 2 years, when I unconciously lost alot of weight due to overexcercise (I would have 2 hours of track practice followed by 2 more hours of soccer practice around 5-6 days a week!) I would not necessarily diagnose myself with an "eating disorder" because I don't really fear foods or any sort, but I am very concious of my eating/caloric intake. I've just recently stopped playing sports...to cut down on my exercise. (Also, I prefer to exercise on my own..so I can do it healthfully...and it's not a forced/hated activity).

It's hard to convince myself to gain weight because I don't necessarily "look" unhealthy...I am generally very muscular, my hair and nails are healthy, etc. etc. But mentally I know I should probably gain the weight..plus my parents are on my back constantly...

You say you don't necessarily have an eating disorder, but I believe you do.

http://caloriecount.about.com/article/partner /do_i_have_an_eating_disorder would be a good place to start to think about your habits. Not only are you dangerously underweight, but your eating habits follow a binge-restrict pattern. Be very aware of the fact that a lot of the damage eating disorders do is not visible. You might think you look fine, but being underweight puts you at risk of infertility, arthritis, osteoporosis and other debilitating conditions.

Like chrissy says, you need to be honest - and that includes with yourself. If you have been restricting all day to make up for a big evening meal, you haven't really been trying to gain weight. You just can't beat an ED if you're only putting in a half-assed effort; you need to really commit to getting well again and getting your life back on track.

Start eating small, frequent and calorie-dense meals. You should be sedentary while underweight but if you are going to exercise, make it gentle movement and not a full workout. You also need to eat more than 2500 if you are going to gain while exercising.

You can "unstick" yourself by committing to recovery; writing a letter to your parents or sitting down with them; then making a meal plan or making an appointment with a nutritionist.