im such a fat pig!!!!!!!!!!

ive just been on a week long binge im at the point now where i cnt hardly keep my eyes open, my trouser r bustin at the seams n i feel like im gonna throw up as soon as i open my mouth................to make things worse im at work!!!

im my own worst enemy, i just abuse my body in so many ways through food im such a total idiot!

instead of drinkin to the point where i lose days of my life or cuttin my arms cuz i feel a i deserve to suffer i seem to be stuffin myself to the point of physical pain.  i can hardly breathe properly n even my bra's tight at the front and i look pregnant all because ive stuffed that much in the last 6 hours that im soooo bloated its physically hurtin

dont get why i do this, i dont feel guilty or upset just annoyed that i do this to myself n dont seem to stop myself until its too late!  i know as soon as this feeling goes down n i start to feel ok again il wanna eat more to get the full feelin bk.........y?  i hate it n it hurts n it makes me just wanna sleep.

why am i destroyin all my good vibes n feelings n habits etc??? this time last week i was workin out in my dinner break at work at the gym n burnin those calories n eatin healthily etc.  this week cudnt be further form that.

i just feel like 'y the hell do i bother' i am  a total loser!!

Self deprecation does not burn calories.  At least, not many.  Just get back on the horse and start fresh!  You know you are a yo-yo dieter.  The only way you're going to feel better is to reset your frame of mind and begin anew...either right now, or when you get up in the morning.  We all can't give up after a bad day, bad week or even a bad month.  We know you have it in you, so pull yourself up and get back on the train.  The more you help yourself, the more you can inspire others around here.  What happened to "kinda at peace, is it all just a mind thing".

mook

Knowing the path is good, but walking the path is the key.

You can't undoe what you've done this week. But you CAN do better next week. Everyone has experienced setbacks on their road to weight loss. Just keep your head up!

It's worrying the amount of food, by your own admission, you're "stuffing" into your body. It sounds like you're really hurting yourself. Like your comparison to someone who drinks too much or cuts themself, there are underlying reasons why you do the things you do. Maybe you should try to gain more insight into those reasons, whether by yourself, or with the help of a professional. YOU CAN DO IT !

What thoughts are you having about food during the binge?

I recently realized that when I am in binge mode and am having a hard time getting back on track I have a tendancy to focus on distorted thoughts about NEVER BEING ABLE TO EAT -insert junk food- AGAIN!!!!  And then I can't stop focusing on that food, and then my mind wanders over to other foods that I'm suddenly convinced I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO EAT AGAIN!!!! and suddenly I must also eat that food, and on and on.  And it doesn't matter if I don't actually feel like eating that food or if I eat that food to the point that it makes me feel sick, I just continue to feel a compulsion to consume.  I want to eat until there's no more to eat, and then I want to go get more junk food to eat.

Just knowing that about myself helps me get out of any momentary slumps I might experience.

Hi 'Nutbox'

I can totally relate!. This morning i was thinking how well my body has coped with the constant abuse it recieves , its like an ovely loyal friend. I also respect the guts it took to put all that in print.

So no real wise words , but I HEAR you , sometimes that is all i need to hear.

dx

Because the week prior you were probably eating at a big deficit, not to mention food you are not use to/are very fond of. Try incoporating foods that you like into your meals and when the foods you actually like are sitting in bulk in front of you, you won't get tempted. This is what happened to me when I first started losing weight, now I don't get those urges and can eat in moderation.

i think you might be overthinking your weight loss plans! every time i start to overthink about what i'm eating and how many calories per day i'm consuming, i get obsessive about it and i can't stop thinking about eating... which leads to binges that i feel absolutely horrible about afterwards. i would say that a good way to clear your mind and restart everything would be to maybe eat at maintenance calories for a week, then slowly start to cut your calories after you balance yourself out again. that way, you're not changing your eating habits so severely and suddenly. good luck!

I have learned that a binge is the body's way of getting the nutrients that it needs.  If the body is lacking a certain vitamin or mineral it will consume everything in sight in hopes that it will get what it needs.

Feed your body nutrient filled foods and make sure that you are consuming all of your allowed calories according to your target calories.  No more than a 500 calorie deficit until you are no longer a binger.

Allow yourself a few treats, denying yourself will only make you want it more.

Forget about the weight loss until you have the binging under control.  One or two good habits at a time.  The best way to start is to add to your new lifestyle.  Add an extra fruit and veggie.  Add an extra block or two to your daily walk.  Add an extra glass of water or cup of tea.

Live your life to the fullest.  Life is too short to go around hating yourself.  Say out loud what you like about yourself, find something new each day that you are proud of.  Find the joy in the little things, no matter how small they seem.  Make someone smile today.  You will be surprised at how just a smile makes you feel so much better about yourself.

So no more negative talk, nutbox.  Starting now it is a new time in your life.

(((HUGGS))) SC

Original Post by pavlovcat:

I recently realized that when I am in binge mode and am having a hard time getting back on track I have a tendancy to focus on distorted thoughts about NEVER BEING ABLE TO EAT -insert junk food- AGAIN!!!!  And then I can't stop focusing on that food, and then my mind wanders over to other foods that I'm suddenly convinced I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO EAT AGAIN!!!! and suddenly I must also eat that food, and on and on.  And it doesn't matter if I don't actually feel like eating that food or if I eat that food to the point that it makes me feel sick, I just continue to feel a compulsion to consume.  I want to eat until there's no more to eat, and then I want to go get more junk food to eat.

 Wow, I was just telling my boyfriend about this last night.  I feel the same way.  I think, oh I better eat that now, because I may not be able to do it later.  He told me I was really mesed up for thinking that way.  I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one. 

lisa and pavlovcat r extremely right i feel like i must cram in all the gorgeousness n then go bk to my healthyness.  think its clearly these thoughts that r causin days of bingin n then days of healthiness....never a healthy balance, always one or the other.

last week i thought id cracked it, my posts were positive i was positive n i didnt feel deprived or have a big deficit just normal.  i wasnt hard on myself n felt happy with what i was doin.  then i went away for the bank hol weekend n BANG....beer, wine, shots, takeaways n meals out.  Comin bk to normal week hasnt been how i thought it wud, ive just carried on n on.  told maself il start bk on it on Monday so now i think what im doin is rammin it all in until Monday cuz i know thats when im gonna go bk to healthy foods.

ive come to the conclusion that this will never go away n i will always have binges because of my thought pattern.

The key for me is to not beat maself up aboput it, because then they last for months, and to not go away s often so i can shed the 2 stone n then when i do have a binge it wont make so much of a difference n il lose it the following week.

Right now i dont even feel guilty or angry, its obviously just the way i am, im in a much better place than i was n have alot more control, in general, maybe with time this will fade also. Who knows. Im just sittin here, bloated n fat but quite content n plannin my new healthy week next week!

Im clearly a weirdo but i figure why make myself soooo desperate n depressed about it all, let go accept it n move on.

hopin this is the case n i dont put another post up in a months time about my true desperation at the things i have consumed, wish me luck as i wish you all luck n success.   :0)  thanks for you replies, they ring home true, spoiled candy thank you.