okay, i'm tired of being drunk.

i started drinking at 8 pm yesterday, i had my last drink about fifteen minutes ago.  i'm officially sick of being drunk.

while i wait to sober up, anyone got any fun drunken stories to tell?

I don't know about FUN, but it is definitely my time of the year too.  They had the 1.75 L Belvedere on sale at Costco for $37.  Enough said.

Let me think... oh, too many funny/horrible stories to choose from.  One of the more humiliating was likely the company accounting conference in Texas.  Well, start off with many strong margaritas, add to that, some shots of tequila, follow that up with me singing Duran Duran's "Rio" at the top of my lungs with co-workers, and then proceeding to fall off a stool, and hitting my head on the bar.

Welp, I missed the morning session of the conference the next morning.  ;)

The first time I had tequila I chugged it; a half pint of it in one sitting.  BAD IDEA.  As soon as it hit my gut it came right back up along with the big dinner I had just eaten.  I was in the bathroom at the time but my friend was taking a pee.  So I puked in the bathtub.  Then I had to clean it out.  So disgusting.

Jewels - You remind me, I have far many worse puking stores than I do drinking stories.  Back when I was 17, I dated this guy that didn't use a dresser for his clothes.  Instead, he had a huge pile of clean clothes to choose from.

Well, after drinking many rum and cokes, I decided it would be a good idea to eat some raw espresso beans.  So, I ate more espresso beans, and drank more rum.  Well, eventually I got very, very sick, and passed out on my boyfriend's "clothes pile".  I then proceeded to puke up black bile all over every piece of clothing he owned.

YUCK.

Needless to say, we didn't date much longer after that.

Long story short I woke up next to a puddle of bile and vodka (presumably mine), wearing one of those hats that construction workers have. What the hell!

Kaffwyn, your Costco sells alcohol? Here in Canada we have to go to liquor stores. How convenient.

i think one of my low moments was a night i went to alex's house, and it was my first time experiencing jager bombs and spicy bloody mary's.  alex had just turned  21 recently and had several liqours to choose from.  we started with the spicy bloody mary's with galens 151 vodka in it.   don't like spicy stuff, but i was not going to look like a little girl in front of everyone we had over that night, so when the spicy bloody mary came back up in a burp, i swallowed it right back down.  definitely a low point in my life.

a few swigs of galens, half a bottle of jager, and endless beers later alex was dragging me upstairs at my mom's house, undressed me, showered me, and tucked me in bed.  i woke up still drunk and had to explain to my boss i couldnt come in because i was still drunk more than 12 hours after drinking.

Original Post by lovegrowsontrees:

Kaffwyn, your Costco sells alcohol? Here in Canada we have to go to liquor stores. How convenient.

Grocery stores, Wal-Mart, gas stations, gas stations with drive through windows....  You can get booze just about anywhere in the U.S., it's amazing.  I about had a fit when I saw The Beer Store.

Ahahah ok well when i was 17, Halloween came around, so me and a bunch of my friends (7 or so) walked around my town getting into trouble & drinking, well it was nearing like 1am and it was just me and my buddy who lived like 3 blocks from me... being a good friend and all i made sure he got home then I headed to my house..   Well I made it about 500 ft from my house, fell over and passed out on the side of the road in a pile of leaves (wearing camo pants/jacket)  anyway i knew i couldnt walk the rest of the way... so I tried calling my dad (ended up calling like 20 people before getting his number)  who lived 20 minutes away,  tried to explain where i was laying at, after about 20 min of looking for me he found me.. shoved me his car, I ended up puking, (was drinking straight yager and had eaten some chocolate)  stained the backseat of his car (still there today), needless to say... drinking  a quart of yager in 45 min equals being passed out on the side of the road.... i didnt go to school in the morning... lmao

I still cant drink yager to this day or i gag and end up puking

ughm where's that stupid thread about the beer store having beer but hiding the damned ****. we went to canada for new years or my dads birthday, something, and all he wanted was a damned beer, and someone said GO TO THE BEER STORE!  we went.  we found tee shirts.  and hats.  no beer.  then a while back on a thread i mentioned that story and someone told me its behind counters or something.  wtf, display it so people can buy it, seriously.

In college, my best friend and I were drunk and walking across campus in the dark. I watched, in a stuper, as she disappeared before my eyes. Then realized she had slipped and slid down a muddy hill on her butt. So I laughed. Really hard. Then "whoop" down I went, also on my butt, and slid down right next to her. We had to walk through the dorms in shame with our backsides covered in mud (unable to stop laughing).

Sadly, I have more. But I'll stop there.

Oh god, I've been drunk in way too many foreign countries... Most recently in Guatemala with some polite Englishmen who live there and took my friend and I out drinking to a local village where they go to get a liter of beer at about $2US. They were buying, and my friend and I kept drinking, and although I'm positive I couldn't have consumed much more than a liter or two, by midnight the four of us had plowed through over 13 liters of beer. Which is an inhuman amount. Granted, one of the English guys was a rugby player for 18 years, and they both own bars, so probably that wasn't such a big deal for them. We rode from the village back to town in a tuc-tuc, which was, well, bumpy. Then my friend and the rugby player ended up knocking over a bench in the bar, I was shouting at people loudly (but in a friendly way) in drunken Spanish, a local kid named Manuel borrowed my camera and took pictures of the whole bar, and I remember buying a delicious piece of chocolate cake from an indigenous woman selling it on a giant tray. And the next day, we had to take a 4-hour ride on a chickenbus to another city. If you don't know what a chickenbus is, it's more or less what it sounds like, and not a bit of fun to ride around in with a hangover.

Of course, I have plenty of other international drunken stories - Sarajevo, Sevilla, Dubrovnik, Rome... Egh, hostel hangovers...

I got paralytically drunk on a weekday night at a work colleague's house. I was supposed to get the train home, but missed it so I had stay round at his house. My colleague and his housemate, both gay, decided it would be just too disgusting for me to wear the same dirty clothes to work the next day. So they put them in the washing machine. They gave me a T-shirt to wear and apparently I ran around half-dressed in the dark in the garden, screaming like a lunatic and chasing imaginary frogs (oddly enough I don't remember this bit).

Next day we both woke up feeling hideous and realised we would have to go into work, as everyone knew I'd been at his house the night before and we both had a reputation as big drinkers, so no excuse about being ill would be belived for a second. Then he informed me that my wet clothes were still in the washing machine!!!

I had to go into work wearing a pair of mens' trousers, loosely held up by a belt and crumpled round my ankles, no bra and a huge T-shirt. On the way in, I felt sick and had hot flushes, and we had to get off the train several times. In work, I spent half an hour in the loo trying not to faint. No-one said anything about my clothes but god knows what they said behind my back! I seriously learned some lessons from this incident. :D

When I was still living on campus and hadn't much experience drinking, I got really trashed at the bars and stumbled back to the dorm. Somehow I got half undressed and tumbled on top of my bed. I also managed to spill change all over the bed. I woke up in the middle of the night with the light on. I had my bra and sweatshirt on. I was naked from the waist down. I was freezing and I had quarters stuck to my thighs. As I stood up they fell off and left red round rings on my legs.

After having been perpetually drunk for almost twenty years...  Give it up.  Don't give yourself an out.  Don't compromise.

i don't know why, but after reading all of those, somehow moonikins story actually made me laugh out loud, for real. good stuff.

when i first moved out on my own (at 19) my friends and i were in my new place drinking frozen margaritas. well, we ran out of mix so i started drinking the tequila straight out of the bottle. needless to say, i wound up puking, in a metal pot, on my bedroom floor, and in between every heave, i would also pass gas, loudly. i couldn't control it, lol. i still get picked on for it to this very day.

I hosted a party earlier this year on International Talk Like a Pirate Day.  I was not that trashed myself, but I walked into my kitchen to find several of my lab mates eating out of a bag of year-old frozen corn they had taken out of my freezer.  When I pointed out that we had potato chips, salsa, and other really great stuff to eat, they very hesitantly put the corn away.  The next morning I found kernels of corn all over the floor.

I have a recent drunk story, I was in vegas for my brothers wedding and at the bachlorette party we went to coyote ugly, well if you know coyote ugly, there is a part of the bar that you can give up you bra to it. Well I was so damn drunk that the lil voices in my head went hey! give that chick you bra so I did. Now at this point my feet were killing me so I took 1 shoe off an was holding it, I had no bra and I was screaming for Tequila. lol it was a pretty fun night. And my feet hurt for about a week after that.

Ugh I have several horrible drunken stories. The worst was probably last halloween. I got hammered before we even left for the bars. One of my friends was a dj at a club we were going to so we got to go into the vip room. Some beyotch tripped me while we were dancing and I got up and started yelling at her. Turns out it was the owner of the clubs girlfriend so we got kicked out. WTF, I still don't understand why that means she's allowed to trip me...anyway, the night ended with me being carried to the car. Fun stuff.

Original Post by jewelsmcblah:

Original Post by lovegrowsontrees:

Kaffwyn, your Costco sells alcohol? Here in Canada we have to go to liquor stores. How convenient.

Grocery stores, Wal-Mart, gas stations, gas stations with drive through windows....  You can get booze just about anywhere in the U.S., it's amazing.  I about had a fit when I saw The Beer Store.

 NOT TRUE!! at least not where i'm from. CT has the most ridiculous liquor laws. the only places you can buy booze are Liquor stores and some grocery stores. they all need to be closed by 8pm, and on Sundays. the big step they took recently was to let select stores stay open until 9pm.

LAME.

MA isn't much better, but at least our stores stay open till 11pm.

Jules, don't feel bad... TX is WORSE.  You can't buy liquor anywhere except liquor stores, and they're only open until 9 here as well.  And on Sundays all you can get is beer and wine and that's after 12pm!  I went home to my folks' house in MO last Christmas and got a big kick out of buying vodka on a Sunday at a gas station!  "Hi can I get $20 on pump two and a bottle of make-my-family-bearable juice?"  Ha! loved it!

Ugh, I have a TON of drunk stories... One of the worst was when I was a freshman in college and this senior guy my friends and I knew was getting rid of all his liquor before he went to the Navy, so he invited a bunch of us to come drink with him (lol, it sounds sketchier now than it did then...).  In any case, I really liked rum back then, so after a few assorted drinks that he made us, including mud slides and white russians, I decided to grab this bottle of rum he had in his stash and started taking shots.  I learned two very important lessons that night: 1) If you have trouble seeing straight enough to pour a shot, you probably shouldn't take it, and 2) The "151" in Bacardi 151 is not the number of years the company has been in business.

I ended up puking in a hall bathroom in the dorm with utter strangers occasionally pushing open the door to see why there were legs sticking out of the stall.  It was one of those, "OMG, let me die now!" sort of events.  Needless to say, I didn't drink for a loooong time after that, and I still can't stomach rum.

Long story short, I drank too much vodka, puked a lot, woke up the next morning, had to go to Gene Juarez for my friend to cut my hair, I passed out during the haircut, they wanted to call an ambulance for me, then I had to run to the bathroom and vomit some more near the end of my hair cut... then when I got home I puked in my driveway.

Here in WA you can only buy hard a at a liquor store, some are open til 9 I think. If you go to a store owned by an indian tribe they're open later.