okay, i'm tired of being drunk.

i started drinking at 8 pm yesterday, i had my last drink about fifteen minutes ago.  i'm officially sick of being drunk.

while i wait to sober up, anyone got any fun drunken stories to tell?

follow that up with me singing Duran Duran's "Rio" at the top of my lungs with co-workers,

lol  one of my favorite songs...  

I have a lot of these stories!

I was probably 20yrs old.. living in Los Angeles.  I went to a bbq/football game at a friends house who had a keg. Next thing I knew I was beer bonging Ciscos and Mad Dog 20/20.  I became so inebriated that I don't know what I was doing. My friends tried to drop me off at my mom's house but I was cussing at her and being really mean.. so she told them 'hell no! You got her this way you take care of'.   I busted through the door and began running down the street crying and laughing... they got me in the car and I was OK again.  

Next, one of our acquantinces told us about a party downtown.. ended up being all black people... from the Crips!  Yep, all dressed in red - guns in their pockets... and in walk super drunk white girl.  Well, I almost got in a fight some chick because I was calling her ugly Madonna... but I was rescued by a LARGE black woman.. maybe 400lbs.. she was cool.. I remember slow dancing with her.. LOL  THEN I walked in on guys playing craps or something.. tons of money on a table.. I thought it would be 'cute' to grab the money and pretend to stick it down my bra. Hmmm, not the best decision.  They were going to kill me pretty much... thank God I was oblivious to all of this.  I threw the money down and asked them why they couldn't take a joke... then I sat next to some guy with red beads in his hair... I was twirling them around calling him Ladybug... He happened to be the leader and he liked me.. LOL So!  He let us live as long we left.... but wait!  There's more!

Final stop of the night was to buy a bag of pot.. everyone chipped in and I was sent in to get it.  I came out to the car but had no bag!  I proceeded to yell at the dealer that she ripped me off and everyone went home w/o it. 

I passed out like mooni.. butt naked except my bra and socks.  I woke up the next morning.. took off my bra and out came the bag of pot. It was stuck under my boob the whole time.

Original Post by jules817:

 NOT TRUE!! at least not where i'm from. CT has the most ridiculous liquor laws. the only places you can buy booze are Liquor stores and some grocery stores. they all need to be closed by 8pm, and on Sundays. the big step they took recently was to let select stores stay open until 9pm.

LAME.

MA isn't much better, but at least our stores stay open till 11pm.

WHAT?  That is lame. 

1:30am is the booze curfew in MO which I thought was lame.  All stores and bars must stop selling/serving.  In IL it's 2am so we'd travel over the river for a few more minutes worth of drinking or pop into a gas station to buy the last 12 pack of the night.

Lol funny stuff.

One time after going to some parties my junior year of college I came home and I woke up in only my panties.  Don't remember anything from that night but my roommate tells me I came stumbling in and used her bathroom and left the door open and came in HER room and looked in her dresser for a second then went to my room.  She said she was kind of freaked out and thought I was sleep walking or something.  This was our first weekend being roomies too.  Well during her story she opens the pantry and there is my pajama shorts!! lol.

I just thought of a more recent drunk story. It was the 2006 Ohio State/Michigan football game. We went to the bar at noon. I think the game started at 3:00. I remember being behind the bar showing the bartenders how to make a frozen lemonade drop. This was before the game started. I remember the 1st quarter. I remember part of the 2nd quarter. The next thing I remembered was being in a different bar and it was the last couple of plays and we won by 3 points. Helluva game.

I was talking to a couple of people and I heard one of my friends ask someone else, "Why is Mooni dancing?" only to hear "She's not dancing, she's just trying to stay standing up."

I sort of remember waiting for the drunk's limo to take us home. I woke up several hours later with one buckeye earring on my ear and the other one under my cheek. Big ole red round spot on my cheek.

I must like to sleep on stuff when I'm trashed.

We were all getting ready for a friend's eighteenth birthday.  To celebrate, we were taking her to a gothic bar we go to on Wednesdays.   You've got to be eighteen to get in, so we thought it was fitting.

A friend of mine decided to get ready at my house with me and Alex, and by get ready I mean get our drink on, 'cause we weren't 21 at the time so no alcohol in the bar.  Alex told her to monitor how much I drank and told me to monitor how much she drank.  Clearly we both forgot who was monitoring who, and that we were even supposed to monitor anyone, 'cause we got through half a bottle of Galens 151 vodka by the time he was done getting dressed.

So here I am in a black and red corset and a skirt made of black lace with red underwear on, too drunk to even get to the car.  Alex and my friend took my platform heels off and my tennis shoes on and we all got in the car to go meet the birthday girl and Alex's brother at his place.

Earlier in the day Alex and I had a near miss in the car at a particular corner, and I get freaked out by cars as it is.  So when we get to that corner and I see all  the cars zipping by in my drunken stupor I freak out, beg to be let out of the car, and fight to get the door open while we're driving 50 MPH down the street.

We finally all get to Alex's brother's place and stumble down into the basement.  I laid down on the floor, everyone else hugged and visited.  I threw up in his brother's trash can and ate his left over Chinese food, and then Alex and I left to meet everyone else at the bar. 

Still very drunk, mind you.  At some point when getting out of the car, not sure where, I fell out completely, face first into the pavement.  That was the last straw for me and I tearfully pleaded with Alex to take me home and put me out  of my misery.

Oh, and there was that time when my friend and I thought to put vodka in a water bottle, hide it in a purse, and pour it into cups of water so we could drink inside the bar.  We drank a little too much, got freaky in a bathroom stall together, and gave my husband the best raging boner that would not go down for nothin' on the dance floor with the tidbits of our sexcapades.

These stories are cracking me up!

I was at a party and very drunk.. went upstairs and found my semi-friend making out with my ex-boyfriend who I still loved (my first love). I was sooo upset!  We were out in the country in a wide open area.. It was pitch dark and I ran smack dab into a tree and knocked myself out... My friends took me home and had to get tweezers and pull bark out of my face. Funny thing was, the next time I was at that house.. I realized I ran into the one and only tree on about 2 acres of land!

.. The ONLY tree?  Drunk!!?