insecurities

I have, for my entire life, felt like I was not good enough.  Issues not just involving my weight, although that is one of the factors, I am not thin and pretty enough, I am not smart enough, I do not earn enough, I cannot make people happy enough.  My biggest fear is dissapointing those I care about.  It's a chronic problem, there will be periods when I know I am worth something, I make a difference and I matter.  There are times like this, where I don't even feel like trying.  I know I am worthless and know that no matter what I try will not change the fact that I am just not good enough.

Hun this is definitely negative self talk. Please stop doing this to yourself. In order to have and experience a healthy controled live of your own you have to give in to wanting to be happy and let go of the negative believes. Here is the cyle my therapist uses for me:

First find out your irational belief (ex: Skinny is better) Then realize how this makes you feel (ex: like I must be perfect and small and that will make me happy) Lastly you have to convert your belief onto your behaviors (ex: becoming anorexic)

In order to change the way that you are feeling right now you have to start with what caused you to feel this way. If I were you I would put together a list of your irrational beliefs and then try transforming them into better behaviors.

Here is another example:

I believe that I must always be skinny. I feel like I am never good enough and that atleast I can control something about mylife. I behave in unhealthy ways of eatting to make this possible.

Change that tooo this positive self talk:

I believe that I will be happier if I am healthy. I feel like I will love myself and my body more if I know that I am treating it well. I behave in a positive fashion by not depriving or restricting my food intake.

Set goals like these,,,,jot them down. Keep up a positive face...we are all on your side here and you can always keep us in mind for motivation!

I am a chronic depressive, have been as long as I can remember. (I'm 29 now) I've been doing really well the past few years, haven't been on meds or in therapy. But, when negative thoughts very similar to the ones you're describing started invading my brain again recently, I knew it was time to seek help again. Ever done the therapy thing?

Red flag:

Yes, I am currently seeing a therapist and a nutritionist for my disorder. Therapy is a great way to vent to someone who does not have any reason to judge you. At first I was really skeptical about seeking help from a professional because I was scared of what they might tell me. After looking back on this experience I believe that I would def. be hospitalized or in an institution by now without reaching out to my therapist. I love her. The best part about my therapy is that she understands my personal needs and goals for my life. She realizes that patience is the key to my recovery. Plus when I talk to my therapist she doesnt evaluate me per say. It doesnt feel like I am going through a mental judgement. I can talk and open up to her about my life and then she makes comments about thoughts, which in turn allow me to understand why I am the way I am. Some people are not into talking to strangers about their problems, but I have found that it is easier for me to tell someone that I dont know about my life because then they have no reason to control, change, or react in certain ways to my thoughts. She has really opened up my eyes...I suggest you try to get a therapist in your area. Mine is covered by my insurance, but there are many social workers that do this couseling for cheaper than actualy psychologist. Or you could try your local hospital for references.