Really insensitive friend??

My friend has a habit of constantly making me feel crappy. We were getting ready for a party yesterday and she needed help with her zip but it would go because her dress was too tight, so she couldn't fit, and i was there trying for ages but it wouldn't go. I asked her what size it was and she was like an 8 (I live in england, i dnt know what size that would be in the US) so i said, why don't you get a bigger size which would be a 10, and wear another dress today and she said (knowing i wear a 10) "Well, i want to fit into an 8 because that means i'm skinny if i wore a 10 i'd be fat" and then she turned around to be and fiddled with my hair, in a really belittling way and said "What size do you wear again babes" i felt like screaming at her.

Another thing she did was in the morning (because i slept over at her house) i had a bowl of cereal and she had a fry up, sausages, bacon, eggs, beans, toast.. which is like whatever i dnt mind. And her mum asks me if i'd like anything else i was still really hungry but i said no i still have a problem with eating away from home, because i can't count the calories. anyway i said "no thankyou i'm full" and my friend turns to me "well you should be you ate so bloody much". I was furious, there was i having had a bowl of weetabix and she had a full english breakfast and was saying i eat so bloody much.

It really bugs me and this isn't the first time she's done something like this. I don't want to tell her because she just think it has something to do with me having had an ed, she'll make out its to do with that when its not, it's her. What do you think i should do?

Sorry, why are you calling this person a friend?

seconded.  that's not a friend.  I think you should stop socializing with her.  I think you should tell her she's a catty b****.  

I think this is one reason that all my friends are boys except one girl friend who I see very occaisionally.

You'd be better off watering some flowers they don't talk back.
I think she will always do this to you....and so someday when
you all get married or whatever.....busy with your lives.....you
will look back and see how you WASTED time on this relationship. 
Therefore, take the advise you have heard here.  It's true the older can be wiser.  B/c we've been there done that.  I know I went through it.  I was the "nice" one like you.  Got walked on. 
Now I think why didn't I find a nicer friend when I had the chance.

So, make a change in your diet and also in friends. 

You are all so right, thank you for your advice. I do have to distance myself from her, i'll still casually speak to her in school, but try and avoid socialising with her outside school.

I know you like her.  Why else would you try to be friends.  But it just keeps being a disappointment.  Life is truly too short.  The next thing you know You'll be looking back at this and seeing you should have bailed.  You said your in School.  Look around see who is a nice girl.
Don't stop at that make many friends.  YOu can learn something from each person you meet.  This will make you more interesting. 
Whatever it is about that other girl you like maybe take the good from
her (whatever that might be) and add it to yourself and move on. 
Now you'll be in the drivers seat.  you might like it.

My 'friends' do that to me all the time. It's either 'she doesn't eat' or 'wow you're a cow!'

what a waste of time.  I have a daughter who is 19 and she enjoys life.  Rides horses.  Waters flowers.  Feeds the birds.  Friends her age like to party and "think" they are having a good time.  Mean while we are best buds and so I'm just saying there is more to do than talk about empty headed things.  I know your stuck at school so what's a girl to do.....be creative.  do something.  Make a change.  it's not normal to do that I know.  but go for it.  

what a biotch!  distancing yourself is a good idea.  btw weetabix rock!  organic and good for you.  she knew she was the one eating the piggy breakfast.  she's prolly jealous.  and squeezing her size 10 into an 8 doesn't make that her an 8.  besides, we are all different shapes and size doesn't always tell the whole story. 

stick to your healthy eating, lose the jealous, nasty friend and surround yourself with positive people. 

all the best :)

the second incident she COULD have been being sarcastic, but i cant say of course, i wasnt there.

but regardless.

"Well, i want to fit into an 8 because that means i'm skinny if i wore a 10 i'd be fat" and then she turned around to be and fiddled with my hair, in a really belittling way and said "What size do you wear again babes" i felt like screaming at her."


THATS NOT A TRUE FRIEND. ditch that female dog =]

i had a friend like that in high school. she would always say things to belittle me. one time , she was like 'im a size 6 now' in a 'ha ha you're not' sorta way......so i worked out like mad and dieted like crazy and got down to a size 6 as well....and then i went out and bought the same car as her but better heh.......cuz she told me my old one was a piece of crap and ugly.

i have a few friends like that now as well but they are bigger than me.... its just good motivation to lose weight and show them i can do it =d

i hate how friends make stupid remarks like this:

people know im on a diet but they watch everything i eat with a microscope. for lunch, i was gonna have a grilled chicken sandwich with a banana and this girl was like 'isnt that ALOT of food?'

since when is a sandwich paired with a fruit.......alot?

also, we give out samples at work and if i take one bite....its like OH NO I RUINED MY DIET!

I hate to say it, but I dealt with the same situation.  My "best friend" of 12 years loved to belittle me in junior high.  She was 5'5 and 105lbs ever since I can remember.  She was the one wearing the skimpy tops, etc.  Daily she would "compliment" me on how much "chunky" fit me and my personality.  In fact, she called me to tell me today how "chunky Julie" just always fit me. 

Worst thing she ever said..  "Julie, I REALLLLLY envy you!  Because.. ya know, you're the smart one and I'm just the pretty one."  Well..  since then I have finished college.  I'm bigger than chunky, but I'm very much so content with the fact that she weighs within 5 pounds of me now (in the 190s).  :)  Cant wait until I'm less than her because she is one of my biggest motivations. :)

Good luck and drop the "friend."  I really wish I would have. 

Thats why I have like 5 friends but only 1 friend that I consider a true friend. Because my other "friends" would be like haha bryan cant jump the fence because hes fat and blah blah. But the other guy would never say stuff like that he's actually the one who finally pushed me to start going to the gym. He wanted to go to the gym with me cause hes nervous goin to a gym by himself. yeah ditch that friend. Friends are supposed to make u feel good not bad. Me and my bestfriend joke around call eachother losers but its in good fun we arent serious about any of it.

you SHOULD have said: if I can't do this zip up on your size eight, then you're a ten, my dear. You could have made quite the joke out ofi t.

and as for the breakfast, again I'd have retorted something like "I'm surprised you noticed, since you were chowing down your fry-up with such gusto"

I wouldn't consider this person a friend. She is obviously very insecure so I'd stay leaver her to it. There are plenty of more supportive (and tactful and caring) people out there. 

if you and she are friends for other reasons and you don't want to ditch her, then that;s ok, too but you have to speak up when she does this rather than maintain some polite silence. If you make her embarrassed by her tactless remarks, she'll soon stop them.

You have to make her aware of how ridiculous she sounds when she makes these blunt and stupid remarks. don;t get angry but poke fun.

I agree with everyone above- She isn't a friend. Women can be very mean to each other. I would say she's jealous of you for having qualities she wishes she could have. Usually when someone says hurtful things like that they are trying to make themselves feel better about who they are. You shouldn't be afraid to comment back to her and let her know what you think of her- the piggy that SHE is! But, distance yourself from her. Self confidence is a hard thing to gain and such an easy thing to lose. Don't surround yourself with someone who trys to take yours away.

It sounds like she may feel jealous of your progress...it doesn't mean she's not a friend (necessarily)...but...I would talk to her and let her know how her comments are making you feel. There may be something going on in her head that you don't know about...and if she is a friend, then she will talk to you openly and honestly about what is going on...if not, then well, it sounds  like it may be time to make a few new friends. Often, we hurt the people we care about the most, who are closest to us, and it could be just a matter of that. :) I wish you luck with your "friend".

I really don't mean to be so brash but, Women are bitches.

I have a friend who says the same kind mean pithy comments all the time. Not just about weight issues either.

We went to a Fashion bug a few months ago. I went to the "tent" side according to her and she went to the "little people" side. I almost died laughing. Yes, laughing. She is not a small person. I mean she's not huge, but she's not skinny either.

She went and tried on the largest size they had in the non-plus size section and she looked like a cow. I nearly died trying not to laugh. (which is mean, I know).

She refuses to admit that she is plus sized so she squeezes her self into these shirts that show off the fat rolls. And she picks on me for buying clothes that fit.

People are ignorant. I'm allowed to be fat and she's allowed to be stupid.

I'm with you guys, this isn't a friend. I am in the same type of situation with someone I work with... It's very difficult to gather the courage to embark on the 'weight loss expedition", but people like this are part of the challenge. It's okay to not like everyone you meet, and to make the decision to not hang out with people who make you feel crappy. For me, the hardest thing about weight loss is understanding that it isn't just about looks, but also about respecting myself enough to take care of my body no matter what. That transcends into relationships as well, people around you should be caring and loving, not cynical and tactless. You are worth being cared about and supported!