why insist on making it complicated?

i see so many posts in this forum asking questions about weight loss: how do i go out to the pub every friday and still lose weight?  how do i cope with my friends eating burgers and fries?  how do i resist the cupboards full of chips and candy and the fridge full of cheese and ice cream?  i have to go to an italian restaurant - what can i do?

it seems to me that just asking these questions makes it more complicated than it really is.  why muddle it by pretending it's a new dilemma for every meal?  that's just creating drama that really doesn't exist and making something confusing out of something that's simple.

there's no need to make weight loss into a gigantic mathematical and psychosocial problem.  if you usually eat a cup of icecream, eat half a cup.  if you usually clean a 14" plate when you go out for dinner, leave half the plate full.  if you usually have three pints and a pound of wings at the pub, have one pint and a half-pound of wings.

the answer is always the same: eat less. 

Good point!!!

Also - for those of you that frequent restaurant chains - try logging into the restaurants website - most of them post nutritional information on their website.

otherwise - when its your turn to order - do not be afraid to ask how something is prepared or to ask if they could do it another way. If anyone says anything - just politely smile and say "that's just the way I like it."

Otherwise - most restaurants nowadays have a Weight Watchers menu or a Low Carb/Low Cal menu. And almost all of them offer chef salads or house salads that are normal serving sizes with out all the fancy hoopla on top that adds so many cals. 

Worst case scenario is always that you go, order whatever you see that you think is the healthiest option and enjoy it. If you go over your cals allowed for the day - just know that you had a good time and start fresh the next day.

For drinking - if you're going to have a cocktail - mix it with diet soda instead of plain - my fav is Jack Daniels with Coke so now I order a Jack and Diet with Lime.  Very good and I still get to feel like an adult with my little drink. :)

If you have a bad relationship with food, going out to eat a restaurant when you are trying to diet or change your bad habits into a healthy lifestyle is a very big stressor.

How is your relationship with food, good? Is eating helathy and getting fit easy for you? Good. Not everyone on this site can say the same.

People come to this site and these forums for help and support, if other peoples problems and struggles annoying you so much, maybe you should just not read those posts and move on.

The concept of eating less is definately something that everyone on here is well aware of, but there are many people with eating disorders and bad habits that are trying to find ways to do that each day. If we didnt need help and if eating healthy were easy enough to do on your own, this site and thousands of other programs wouldnt exist.

Original Post by elovey:

If you have a bad relationship with food, going out to eat a restaurant when you are trying to diet or change your bad habits into a healthy lifestyle is a very big stressor.

How is your relationship with food, good? Is eating helathy and getting fit easy for you? Good. Not everyone on this site can say the same.

People come to this site and these forums for help and support, if other peoples problems and struggles annoying you so much, maybe you should just not read those posts and move on.

The concept of eating less is definately something that everyone on here is well aware of, but there are many people with eating disorders and bad habits that are trying to find ways to do that each day. If we didnt need help and if eating healthy were easy enough to do on your own, this site and thousands of other programs wouldnt exist.

 

 Seconded.

I think you should ask if you don't know. Why incourage ignorance? Some people just don't know! Eventually I would like to get to the point where I can estimate correctly on how many calories an item has. That way I can keep within my calories at a restaurant. I have tired looking online at my fav. places and they don't include every item... specially the items I eat... which is kinda funny. But I agree that if its annoying to constantly read this and that over and over again then maybe you've outgrown this site? You obviously don't need help or never did, I don't know. But don't make people feel bad for not knowing... people probably already feel stupid half the time they ask about something. Like me, I hate asking simple stuff because it makes me feel dumb... people don't need that here... everything should be easy to ask.

no question abt food is silly or "drama"; better ask than make mistakes.

if some ppl have a "bad" relationship wt food, they need reassurance they are doing well;

I can go out and see ppl eat fries in front of me and won't crave them b/c i don't want or like them; i can pass by candy or chips and not eat them either;

if i go out to an Italian rest - my fav! - i get a salad...no dressing, loads of veggies..HEALTHY

but that's after 2.5 yrs since i started changing my life! everything was drama at first lol

Original Post by elovey:

if other peoples problems and struggles annoying you so much, maybe you should just not read those posts and move on.

right back atcha. 

the point is, overcomplicating the issue doesn't make it easier; it makes it more difficult.  how is it helpful to create a whole new crisis over every meal?  the issue hasn't changed just because the setting is different.  we all know restaurants over-serve.  it shouldn't be an ego-shattering message to say "don't eat it all."

i'm just trying to point out that this isn't rocket science.  if people would rather keep it complicated and maintain the drama, that's fine, but don't get pissy with me because i recommend keeping it simple.

Original Post by pgeorgian:

the answer is always the same: eat less. 

Eating less slows the metabolism and gets lots of people in trouble.  There are plenty of people on this site who have lost more weight by eating more.

If you want a catch-all answer, it's not eat less, it's eat better.

I don't thin pgeorgian was trying to be dismissive or nasty.  A lot of people give up because it's just all too complicated. It's as complicated as you make it.

I remember reading that Dolly Pardon lost her excess weight by eating half of what she previously ate. I'm not sure I believe that's all there was to it, but I remember thinking "how simple & sensible!" 

I can actually do that now but it sure didn't come naturally to me. As long as there is something yummy on my plate, it just keeps calling! Of course the 'simple' solution is to box half of it right after they bring it to the table. Maybe a trifle embarrassing, but not as embarrassing as not fitting in the chair! 

Original Post by floggingsully:

Original Post by pgeorgian:

the answer is always the same: eat less. 

Eating less slows the metabolism and gets lots of people in trouble.  There are plenty of people on this site who have lost more weight by eating more.

If you want a catch-all answer, it's not eat less, it's eat better.

 

sully, in the context of the original post, the simple answer makes sense.

and chris, that's exactly what i was trying to say: you don't have to know the exact nutritional analysis of every item on every menu.  you just have to eat less than you used to eat. 

boxing half is great if that works for you, but if you know you're just going to end up eating it at midnight, don't box it.

Good point. I have a 17 yr old bodybuilding stepson so I haven't gotten a shot at leftovers in years!

I appreciate this post. I agree wholeheartedly. HOWEVER. We get questions like this on the forum because people are not mathematical equations. People are not simple. Usually people who struggle with their weight have a complicated and/or emotional "relationship" with food. It is a process.

i know people aren't simple, digdig; that's kind-of my point.  people aren't simple; emotions aren't simple; appetite isn't simple.  i was trying to point out something that is simple.

the only good thing about overcomplicating this is that it provides lots of ready excuses.

With some people that theory works fine. Maybe the people that have just gained their freshman 15 and had a good relationship with food in the past. Some of us struggle, some of us CANT stop picking at a plate that is half full. Some of us have to take drastic measures to rid of food that 'calls' our names.

It might sound easy in theory. Just eat half. Okay. But you have to have control and willpower to do so. I don't care what anyone says: Obesity is a disease. It's not sheer ignorance to food, it's a drug - an addiction.

See, this is kind of like saying "Okay you guy on meth, just stop taking meth and your life won't suck so bad"... or like taking away cigarettes from an addict. At least when you are on meth you can remove yourself from the situation and cut your friends, get help with a plan behind it. With food, you are shown it all the time. You are around it. Sight, sound, taste. It touches on all our senses. Probably one of the most hardest addictions to break is FOOD.

Food is the circle of social events. Food makes us feel better.

So okay.. if you can avoid half then your fine and probably don't need much support from a website like this to have others to relate to. But I have a feeling, the majority has a problem :) - That bad relationship with food.

I can tell you that after losing 175 pounds myself. I can tell you that after maintaining MY own weight loss for 10 months, and every day I struggle with that 1/2 plate sitting there while I wait for others to be done. It's not easy.

first: whoo hoo!  my first sticky post!

second: obesity is considered a disease because it has a range of predictable and dire health consequences.  it is not a disease in the sense that addiction is a disease (and there's some debate about whether or not addiction is a disease at all).

if it's hard to stop eating, there are strategies for stopping (for instance, putting your napkin on top of your plate and placing your cutlery on top to signal the waiter/busperson to take it away). 

it's hard to change behaviours and habits - i'm not saying it's not.  i'm just saying that knowing what to do is simple.  it's not easy for the meth addict to stop using meth, but we all know that's what he needs to do.

She didn't say anything about it being 'easy'.  Easy and uncomplicated are not the same thing. There is nothing EASY about doing it. The approach to handling these kinds of situations just doesn't have to be complicated. 

I'm surprised at people being bent out of shape at the concept. IT'S A GOOD THING!

Original Post by pgeorgian:

first: whoo hoo!  my first sticky post!

second: obesity is considered a disease because it has a range of predictable and dire health consequences.  it is not a disease in the sense that addiction is a disease (and there's some debate about whether or not addiction is a disease at all).

if it's hard to stop eating, there are strategies for stopping (for instance, putting your napkin on top of your plate and placing your cutlery on top to signal the waiter/busperson to take it away). 

it's hard to change behaviours and habits - i'm not saying it's not.  i'm just saying that knowing what to do is simple.  it's not easy for the meth addict to stop using meth, but we all know that's what he needs to do.

Obesity being a disease and stopping eating are a little un-related. Let me clarify with the not eating bit (at least from how I've experienced it). Obesity there is studies on, I'm not going to classify it as a disease because I'm not a doctor, but having the will power to only eat 'half' of what is there, makes you go further than just placing your napkin on top. You may never understand the anxiety when the bus boy doesn't come fast enough.

Leaving half of your food on your plate creates a thought process in your head. I'll say for me at least it's a MENTAL DISEASE. A struggle if you will. You know your done eating, you know your body is not hungry anymore, but you have this PULL feeling towards the food. For someone that doesn't understand what it feels like to be pulled towards something in an addictive manner wouldn't get what I'm talking about and I should just save my breath in that case.

But letting go is harder than it may be for someone who doesn't understand. We wouldn't be here if we could just simply make food go away.

Chips in cabinets - I simply can't have them in the home

Ice cream - Again something I can't have in my home

These are things I have learned. Ordering smaller portions or asking the waiter to box half my food to-go before bringing it out is also something I have learned. Call it "dieting 202" if you will, but for someone beginning to diet, they need advice. Not everyone knows how to handle situations. After 2 years, I have caught on to my own tactics.

But by all means, we know most meth addicts never recover. We also know they go through slips, and we know they sure the hell can't on their own put down the meth and go on about their business. Again, they seek help, they find people with similar situations, and they learn.

I actually like this concept because for a while I have been overcomplicating things that don't need to be complicated.  This just brings me back to the center and refocuses me.  The answer is that simple (in my opinion) which is to just eat less. 

x17star17x, i would never argue that i understand your (or anyone else's) experience.  and congratulations on finding strategies that work for you.

i'm not trying to say that my experience with food is the be-all-and-end-all (and if you're paying attention, you'll have noticed that i'm not talking about my experience at all). 

i'm just suggesting ways of simplifying thinking about eating.  reject my suggestions if you want; i'm not offended by that.  obviously no strategy works for everyone.

but please, tell me how reitterating the reasons it's impossible is more helpful.

oh, good, jenn!  and thanks, chris.  glad to know i'm not completely in left field.

I support the idea of "just eat less." But I also find that to eat enough fiber and nutrients every day, I have to eat quite a bit more of the right foods. There's not room left over in my calorie allowance for too many extra small portions of pub food when I've had my 160 calories worth of flax and other high fiber things. I'm trying to eat more fish, more yogurt, more fruit, more vegetables, blah blah blah. I'm in my late fifties and may have a little different prospective on what this is all about.