How do you instill healthy eating habits in young children?

Today I am so tired, all I want to do is take a nap.  But I'm home with my kids, 2 & 5, and I'm getting really frustrated because they have eaten constantly since we came home from the gym at 11 this morning. 

We usually eat lunch about 12:30, so I gave them a snack in the car when I had my post-workout snack.  Then we came home and they get into the fridge and each get a peach.  Not a bad snack, right.  Then they pillage string cheese - still not a bad snack, but I'm starting to fix lunch.  I figure, oh, well, it'll count as part of their lunch. 

So I fix sandwiches with some fresh veggies and ranch to dip, a past favorite.  No surprise, they don't want lunch.  I tell them they can have it when they get hungry.  But 10 minutes later it is another peach...One or the other of them is constantly in the fridge or pantry, grabbing something, and eating half of it before I can get to them. 

Is it bad to get a fridge lock for them?  I'm afraid that would send a message I don't want, but I also don't want them eating ALL the time.  I'm not talking about a snack every couple of hours - it is constant lately, like me on a binge, which scares me, but maybe I'm over-reacting.  And I can't keep a sentry watch on the fridge and pantry all day long.  I do try to keep fairly healthy foods around - most of what they grab is fruit, string cheese, or whole grain cereal.

I'm really trying to teach the 5 year old some basics about food groups and how you have to eat all of them for a healthy diet, but it hasn't been processed into actions yet.  And I know that they are probably bored - I'm working on that, but it is hard today.  It would help if I could trust them with crayons, but that's a whole 'nother post... 

Suggestions, anyone?

I would explain to them that as their mommy you are responsibly for making sure they are the healthiest they can be, that means asking before grabbing a snack.  If they still grab when they feel like it the fridge lock might not be a bad idea until they understand that they have to ask first.

To get my daughter to eat a variety of healthy foods I taught her that food fuels her, like the gas in the car or the batteries in her toys.  For her body to feel good she needs different foods because they fill different needs.  When we sit down for a meal she makes sure it has all food groups so that she can be fueled up for play.

Hope that helps.

I can only tell you how we do it at our house. Firstly my kids don't have free access to any food, they have to ask if they want a snack. They don't have a problem with asking because I normally give it to them but they know they can't just grab whatever they want. This is more about "I'm the mommy and I'm in charge" sort of respect than nutrition but it's helpful anyway. When they ask for a specific food and I don't think it's healthy I tell them so and they enjoy thinking of something that might be healthier. These days my 5 year old will reject candy and say "I want a healthy snack!", what a little weirdo.

As far as the not eating meals but snacking thing, my kiddos (also 5 and 2) know this does not fly. If you don't eat your lunch you don't get snacks. I never force them to eat the food on their plates if they aren't hungry but no way are they going to snub lunch to raid the pantry. #1- it's my job to make sure they get proper nutrition and the best way to do that is with complete meals. #2- it again shows me disrespect if they decide they don't want to bother with what I took the time to make them, they just want to grab snacks. #3- Introducing children to a wide variety of foods and encouraging them to try them (yes, I enforce the "no thank you bites" rule around here) makes them healthier and more adventurous eaters later in life.

However, if they are eating their meals well and they are still hungry for snacks I don't have a problem with feeding them. I do sometimes ask my 5 year old "are you hungry or do you just want to eat?" when it seems like her intake is particularly high. I do want to make her aware of the difference. On the whole though kids are fairly good at intuitive eating. Their bodies will tell them when they need the extra calories for a growth spurt or to recover from illness (my kids get sick and eat poorly for 3 days they turn to skin and bones, I am sick for 3 days and eat poorly my metabolism screeches to a snail's pace and I gain 5 lbs. There is no justice in this world)

That's pretty much all the verbal diarrhea I have on the subject for now. Good luck!!

Yes, I do have a rule that they are supposed to ask.  Before my 2 year old could open the fridge, I had come up with a list of "anytime" foods for the 5 year old that she could get herself, and it just has gotten out of hand.  The 2 year old doesn't understand it, the 5 year old doesn't stick by it, and the 5 year old is also is "expressing her independence", which probably just means I've done something wrong along the way and she is now defiant.  (I'm feeling a bit of a bad parent right now.)

Most days aren't really this bad.  Today is a bad day because I am tired, and they feed off that and try to get away with things, which, of course, just makes me more frustrated.  I have been making changes to my own life, which means their lives are changing as well.  And we don't have peaches around all the time - not since last summer, so there's that too.

Honestly, I don't see the problem. They eat several small meals a day that consist of healthy things (fruit, protein, dairy), isn't that what a lot of us do?

Kids are constantly on the go. They constantly need to be taking in calories. My daughter knows that she can eat when she's hungry and she chooses healthy items because it's 1. what we have in the house and 2. what she sees her dad and I eating.

Is the issue here the fact that they're disobeying? One thing we have started doing with our daughter (this only applies at dinner) is if she doesn't finish dinner and asks for dessert (fruit or granola bar) she'll get desert but nothing after that. If she complains of hunger later (usually right before bed), we tell her she can have a nice big breakfast in the morning and talk about all the good things she can eat after bed.

Our daughter understands that she has to ask for something before she eats it but knows that she's allowed to get it herself as long as we okay it. I think locking the refrigerator would send the wrong message.

My kids have always had to ask before just grabbing things from the frig. My kids are big eaters (they are active boys, after all), but if there was even a hint that they wouldn't eat their lunch and/or dinner, I would never let them have a snack too close to their mealtime.

It's funny but even at the ages 8 and 12, they still ask if they can have a snack. I almost always let them, unless we're within 1/2 hr of dinner or within about an hour of bed. But again, they always eat their dinners and then some.

Sorry but who is the parent?  My kids would never consider getting anything without asking permission because they were brought up with the structure that it is not for them just to grab food other than grabbing something out of the fruit bowl and they still ask before grabbing something from there.

I think you have lost your discipline and structure and need to really assess your role as a parent and being in control.  Your kids are learning bad eating habits, with regards to just eating when they want and not having structured meal times and while its great they eat healthy food further down the track you will have huge problems if you go out for meals etc.

Original Post by etahbear:

I can only tell you how we do it at our house. Firstly my kids don't have free access to any food, they have to ask if they want a snack. They don't have a problem with asking because I normally give it to them but they know they can't just grab whatever they want. This is more about "I'm the mommy and I'm in charge" sort of respect than nutrition but it's helpful anyway. When they ask for a specific food and I don't think it's healthy I tell them so and they enjoy thinking of something that might be healthier. These days my 5 year old will reject candy and say "I want a healthy snack!", what a little weirdo.

As far as the not eating meals but snacking thing, my kiddos (also 5 and 2) know this does not fly. If you don't eat your lunch you don't get snacks. I never force them to eat the food on their plates if they aren't hungry but no way are they going to snub lunch to raid the pantry. #1- it's my job to make sure they get proper nutrition and the best way to do that is with complete meals. #2- it again shows me disrespect if they decide they don't want to bother with what I took the time to make them, they just want to grab snacks. #3- Introducing children to a wide variety of foods and encouraging them to try them (yes, I enforce the "no thank you bites" rule around here) makes them healthier and more adventurous eaters later in life.

However, if they are eating their meals well and they are still hungry for snacks I don't have a problem with feeding them. I do sometimes ask my 5 year old "are you hungry or do you just want to eat?" when it seems like her intake is particularly high. I do want to make her aware of the difference. On the whole though kids are fairly good at intuitive eating.

 Wow! That's EXACTLY the same as in our house too!

Plus we're very big on teaching our kids the difference between a snack(fruit, yogurt, veggies, cheese) and a treat (cookies, muffins, crackers, ice cream). A snack is something they can ask for, a treat is something that has to be offered to them.

Ok, that was a bad day.  My kids typically do eat well, for young children.  They typically eat a good portion of their meals.  It's not like they have free rein and are gobbling cookies or anything.  I was just frustrated that day because they were not following the rules, and I was constantly wondering to myself, should I let them have this, or should I make them wait to have the same thing with their lunch.  They did ask me several times if they could have "such and such", but then they did grab their own several times as well, which was what really got my goat.  The timing was just "off" that day.

My kids do know that they don't get "treats" like ice cream or candy for their snacks.  What they ask for are almost always healthy foods, so it is hard for me to make the decision to say no, even if it is close to a meal.  I mean, it seems a little much to expect a 2 year old to wait, but I could see making the 5 year old wait.  Hard to treat them differently, though.

So, I guess I was venting more than anything, because I do feel rather like a control freak making them ask if they can have a piece of fruit, but that IS our rule.  And I was really tired that day, so it felt like a bigger thing than it really was (probably why they thought they could get away with it!)

Thank you everyone for sharing your experiences.

My dear, it's the days that you DON'T wonder if you're being a bad mom and start second guessing yourself that you should worry. Don't let anyone fool you, we all have those days and in the end our children turn out fine and only need 30 years of therapy!

Thank you etahbear, you made me smile.  Those are the days that I have to remember that example is the finest teacher - that the only person I can TRULY control is myself.