Intuitive Eating

So.. i am recovering from anorexia and overeating... im not longer at an unhealthy weight, ( 5'9 123 lbs 16 yrs old) but i do find myself eating past hunger!
anyone want to try intuitive eating with me, if you have heard of it?

if not check out www.intuitiveeating.org

thanks
!

I'm beginning to think that the key is moderation in exercise.  When you try to do something every day, intensely, you tend to get burned out, so when the scale starts going in the other direction, you feel frustrated.  This is why I'm trying a week solely with yoga and no extreme cardio.  I'm really trying to just eat as my stomach tells me.  But even though it's only been about 4 days, I feel weird not exercising.  Heck, last night I made myself go for a nice walk because I felt lazy.  But it was truly a nice walk.  I really noticed my surroundings and enjoyed the sunset...it was exercise without the need to burn as many calories as I could.

Katopong, the scale might be going up because you're building muscle.  While intense cardio often burns off muscle, weight-bearing excercise does strengthen.  (I've found that I've built a ton of leg muscle up from running).

But you're right in that it's really important to excercise for reasons other than weight loss/maintenance.  I find that when I think about it that way, it zaps my motivation.  Whereas days when I run extra far because I want the stress release or the feeling of pushing myself to a new limit are much better.

Infinity, this is my frustration.  I tend to build up muscle more rapidly in my thighs, so my goal is actually not muscle gain!  I've been adding in food since this summer, trying to eat as a normal person, but it's been going directly to my thighs, due to weight redistribution.  I know this is normal, especially after eating so little calories (your body needs to readjust).  It's also normal to notice your weight go up before it starts to level off and even drop.  My metabolism is completely out of whack, so my goal is to get it back up and running to its optimal capacity.

What's frustrating is that I did once get my thighs very whittled down and thin.  Of course, this was due to improper eating (struggled with an ED), but I always kept up my cardio routine and kept it the same for about 3 years.  However, this summer, while still under the exact same regime (but different diet), my thighs started to get bulkier, and I'm having great difficulty fitting into my pants.  So...does your body respond to the same exercises differently if you change your diet around?

Just sharing:

I went to therapy just now and talked to my therapist about food for the first time. It went ok. I think. I talked and was honest, and didn't cry.

I'm worried she will fall into that "but you're not skinny enough to have an eating disorder" category of people, but she said some helpful things -- she suggested that I start keep a graph of days that I don't weigh myself and don't track calories.

...

We'll see.

Imogene -

I've been embarassed about that one, too.  All this effort and making myself miserable and really?  Just eating healthy, working out and relaxing and I'd be about where I am now.

But, sadly, there's people who are well into obesity who struggle with this stuff, too.  I know (and know of even more) people who were into the 50-100 pound overweight category and had issues with bulimia.  Isn't the point about how healthy and happy we are and not what's going on on the outside?

Yeah, sometimes easier to say than believe.

Katopong -

If your body wants to gain muscle from cardio, then I'm not sure what advice I can give you besides to be happy about it.  Muscle is VERY good for you, even if it adds weight.  It's the loss in muscle mass that leads to lowered metabolism and weight gain as people age, so be happy that your body builds it naturally.  I have trouble sometimes with the fact that my weight will never be low (it's healthy, but the lower end of my BMI range?  will probably only ever be reached through amputation)

Yes, not getting enough food to survive could mean you'd do the same physical activity without building muscle, because your body is desperate to use that energy as food.  I try to think of my musclar build the way I think about my long torso and high waist or the fact that I'm only five foot two.  Yeah, they make mean I'll never be super skinny, but there's only so much you can change about your body.  I'll never be taller and I'll never have a small frame, but I can learn to embrace the things that are awesome about it (guys who like short girls, plane flights are more comfortable, I can lift heavy things, eat more food, lower risk of osteoporosis.)  Someday I'll even fully accept that I'll never be 110 pounds.

And, yeah, my thighs have been bulking up, too, of late.  But it's not the jiggly stuff.  It's these two hard little mounds at the bottom of the muscles as I've crossed from running 3-4 miles/day to 4-5.  Kind of unusual, but hard as a rock and kind of cool, too.

I just got a copy of the book from the library. I read the description of "The Careful Eater" last night and I am afraid to say it describes me EXACTLY. That scared me a bit...

OK I've been reading more of this book and I want to try the process but I'm afraid of gaining weight! I don't think this is an irrational fear because if you read reviews of this book on Amazon, some of the reviewers gained weight.

One of the first steps in the process is to give yourself unconditional permission to eat. They say to make a list of the foods that appeal to you, circle the ones you've been restricting, and give yourself unconditional permission to eat them (as often as you want), one at a time. When you've "made peace" with one food, move on to the next.

On my list (don't laugh) are focaccia, steak & cheese subs, brownies, and real ice cream. I feel like there's a reason I restrict my consumption of these things. If I ate whatever I wanted whenever I wanted... I'm pretty sure I'd gain weight.

What have your experiences been with this?

flowerbud- I've been going through that stage and it took me about a month. I did gain a little, like 2 or 3 lbs, but once you make peace and get past it you will be able to make healthier choices and still have the occasional not so healthy choice without feeling guilty. Your weight will level out and if you need to lose a few again it will happen naturally, just by following your bodies cues. I found most things I ate a few times and that is all I needed to get past that food. Ice cream was my hardest, because I love sweet stuff. Just be patient and try not to weigh yourself as often. I didn't weigh for about 3 weeks, down from almost everyday. And it made me feel better to get on the scale and not see a huge difference.

nitanne -- mind if I add you as a friend (if I can figure out how) and PM you?

flowerbud -

the idea behind this is that if you're listening to your body, you'll soon realize that if you eat nothing but ice cream and steak, you'll start to feel sick and deprived of the nutrients in vegetables and whole grains and fruits and fish and whatever else.

if we listen, the body self-regulates.  if we restrict, the mind feels deprived and craves what we don't need.  once we realize that ice cream is not the forbidden holy grail of awesomeness, it's just another tasty food that it's damn hard to subsist on.  same with starving yourself for hours, then eating so much you feel sick.

infinity -- do you mind if I message you about this as well?

wow! i didnt know if anyone would actually take up this thread. cool beans.

Well, ive been doing intuitive eating since I last posted, but im still obsessing over calories, fear of gaining weight? which I actually did.. now im at about 128, I think, and its uncomfortable ( but i think its because im not eating enough protien)? but the freedom to eat pop tarts feels pretty good too!

I just want to say to everyone, don?t give up!  This will be so worth it in the end! Especially if this can feel natural by the holidays... a guilt free non stuffed thankgiving would be amazing.


Trust your body, it usually tends to know what its doing. best wishes for everyone!!

Flowerbud - Please feel free.  I haven't been logging in much (a sign that I'm finally getting this intuitive thing?..) and didn't see the reply until now.  But as much as I am getting happier each and every day I find myself moving away from calories and weight and obsessive thinking and guilt, I do love talking about my experiences with intuitive eating so far.

Peyto_Delialih: It definitely takes time.  I think I'm finally starting to get there, though when I think about how many large non-homecooked dinners I've had this week and the big plate of cheese I shared with friends last night, I start to get back to thinking about calories.

But at the same time, a weekend at a wedding eating fancy catered food sent me home craving tofu and vegetables all week.  I learned my lesson on the cheese - I remain too lactose intolerant for more than a little bit.  I'm also discovering the feeling of being pleasantly satisfied and barely full.  It's a great feeling and as I begin to recognize what gets me there, I am losing the desire to eat just because something is tasty or for emotional reasons.

There's another couple mental things that help get me away from thinking about calories and weight.  One is that I'm doing all I can to STOP thinking that "I ate cheese; I was bad."  Or thinking of food as good or bad, sinful or virtuous, something I deserve or don't deserve.  There is no moral value in food.  There is no need to "confess" to a friend for reassurance after you ate too much.  I'll stop and ask myself why I overate and what I can do to prevent it next time.  But seeing mistakes as lessons (because they weren't eating intuitively, such as eating to stuffed, or ignoring what my body craved) as opposed to eating unacceptable foods is very helpful.  Hell, sometimes if I am craving the "less virtuous" food and I eat something I think will cause less guilt, I also remind myself that that was not eating intuitively. 

The other thing that's helped is to remember that gaining weight is not the worst thing in the world.  Yes, we criminalize it constantly in our society and it's okay not to want to gain weight.  But to realize that it's not the end of the world is the last thing that I need to slip into place.  I think it is near impossible to remain below one's set point while eating intuitively, but I've given up any desire to do that.  I'm healthy and look good and have the possibility of not being totally obsessed with food and paranoid about weight at my set point. 

I did something I'd been trying to avoid and weighed myself a couple times recently.  While I have gained 1-2 pounds since I started doing this a couple months ago, my clothes fit the same as before, if not more loosely and I seem to be building significant muscle mass.  I do get paranoid, but then I realize my pants are too big and my waist measurement is the same.

Then I realize that's not what matters.  Eating what makes me feel good physically, not obsessing, and remembering there is way more to life than food and weight is what matters.