IP for ED

After struggeling with ed for two years, my body has decided its had enough and has started paying me back for all the hell ive put it through.

My treatment team has decided that due to the excessive amount of weight ive lost, im total inability to eat, my current medical problems that are causing me severe pain when i do eat, that its time for an IP admission.

Ive spent most of today at the OP clinic i go to sorting all this out. I had a routine appt this morning but after discussing how things are at the moment with my key worker she decided that it was time to have an IP admission, my dr agrees. The only problem now is getting a place in the only programme available to me. I dont me the weight criteria for admission so it may mean i cant go. In the mean time, while i wait for a decision im supposed to be going into crisis respite, but again i dont meet the criteria, im too old, so i have to wait till tomorrow to find out if thats happening.

Im terrified of all of this, i never imagined it would get to this point. Ive never been IP for ed before and i dont know what im getting myself into, i have no idea what to expect. Not knowing if im actually going or not is making things so much worse because i feel like im in limbo. I know i have no other options right now so if this doesnt eventuate i dont know whats going to happen.

Has anyone here ever been IP, what am i getting into, what do i ned to expect. I dont need to gain weight.

I live in New Zealand and i dont know anyone who ha been to this facility before, its supposed to be good but im really scared. Its quite far from my family and friends, im so scared.

Any adivce on getting through this, i know i need to do it im just terrified of gaining weight when i really dont need to.

Please someone help, im freaking out and i dont know what to do. Im terrified and i think i made a mistake. My ed voice is so loud tonight, its so angry at me for letting this happen.

I dont want to go to IP this fat. I want to be thin. Not being that thin means that im not sick enough. I really hope now that they decline my admission because of my weight, if i can just get down to my gw i will be happy. Everything will be ok. I cant go IP, i cant let it happen. OMG what am i going to do, how am i going to get out of this. I know that if i dont show up to my appts tomorrow, crisis will just track me down. Argh why did i tell the truth, i did i let them know. I dont want to be this fat and going IP will mean i will get fatter. I cant let this happen, i cant go through with it!!!

This is just going by what I think is going on, since I have no idea what you weight is, or how long this has been going on. I'm sorry it took so long to get a reply for this. Take a deep breath. 

I have no experience with being an IP, but I've had someone talk to me about it. I can only say that if it's gotten so bad that they want you to be an IP, you are no where near being fat. Your goal weight is by no means healthy. And that they will not make you fat, they will make you healthy. I know that you don't want to gain weight, that it's probably the thing you fear the most right now, but you do need to gain weight. The thing you have to realize is that an ED distorts the way you see yourself, and that you have to trust other people to be your "mirror". They can tell you when something is worng, and I guess now there is. It's going to be ok. I know it's hard, I know that voice must be the only thing you hear right now, but it gets better as you get better. I understand what you're doing and why you're doing it it, but I do not support it. You can't let it win. A fight with an ED is a fight for your life. The best thing you can do is find a friend who is recovering, or better yet someone who has recovered, and let them be your guide, your support. 

Thing is i really dont need to gain, my bmi is 23. Im a healthy weight but i have lost 50% of my origional body weight in a short amount of time. I dont need to gain weight.

Im leaving tday for IP, im terrified, i dont want to go but i dont have a choice.

Ok, sorry. Totally different situation then. I understand that you want to get down to your goal weight, but doing it unhealthily isn't the way to go about it. Maybe they will talk to you and work out a menu that will fit your goals and your body's needs. Good luck.

Hi. I have been ip many times and your fears are normal. I am from the US but ip is a place for you to learn tools for healthy living in a supportive environment. I was ip with someone who too lost a huge amount of weight in a short time but had a normal BMI. This still can cause major health complications that are not reversible. Also ed are a mental and physical disorder and there are reasons behind this not just about being thin. I know you are scared but hopefully this will help you get on a healthier track.

Hi. I'm currently an IP in the UK.. I don't know how much help I will be but I will certainly answer any worries or queries you have about what to expect (I know its maybe a bit late now, sorry). The idea of becoming an IP was terrifying for me, but I can definitely say that you will receive a lot of support, and that that should hopefully make things easier for you. Sometimes things just get beyond our control, and its too difficult to make changes on our own - I know it became like that for me. I hope that being an IP is a positve experience for you and you can begin to work on a healthier relationship with food and weight. xxx