IP? I cannot do it on my own anymore!

I'm so confused right now. I seriously have NO idea how serious my ED is. I'm 5'3, 14 and between 95-100lbs. My parents told me the other day if I don't straighten things out I may be in the hospital soon. I do sometimes feel faint when i stand up too fast or run up the stairs, I'm tired a lot. But I haven't fainted for almost a year. I got maybe 3 or so heart tests and they all came back fine. My blood pressure is low, but more lowish average. Same with my weight. I just don't feel like I have an ED very bad.. do I? What do you think?

It also seems like it's all up to me whether to eat or not, whether to even follow my meal plan. My parents are both so stressed out with their jobs and stuff that they just don't have time to worry about my food stuff. But I swear it's FREAKIN IMPOSSIBLE to eat by myself. My ED voice is getting stronger every day. I want to stop this but I feel so alone, I need help from my parents. I see a doctor or 2 every week or so, but still, I'm slipping! ... Truth is I kinda want to be an IP, just because I know that's the only way I can do it. But it's not possible for my family right now. And how the heck would someone react if I told them that!?

I dunno, sorry to rant! I'm just so confused! Please help? :S

Hey there Marissa,

First of all I want to commend you on your willingness to recognize your issue and for wanting to get help for it! I have struggled off and on with an ED for years, and trust me I know how $$$ IP can be! Fortunately, last summer I found a free IP program at the NY Presbyterian Medical Center. You do have to participate in some research (and you must qualify for the research), but it is a great program that literally saved my life last year! If you are interested checking it out see the link below

http://www.columbiacenterforeatingdisorders.o rg/

Take care and much love!

Marissa: you really need to talk to your parents!! also, talk to your doctors and tell them that you can't do it and you're not going to get well without more supervision...this will put them in a position to tell your parents who might then respond by paying more attention and being more supportive if they cannot afford IP. It is really expensive but some insurance allows for a certain number of visits/lenght of time as long as progress is being made. So please just talk to someone in your life...a real person. I'd love to support you and help you but this is a problem that's bigger than CC and really needs to be addressed by a doctor!! congrats on realizing your needs and wanting help!

Marissa,

I think it's great that you know you need more help. I also think it's great that you're already seeing a doctor and have ideas for what might help. It sounds like one simple support would be having someone to eat with. Your parents should be able to help out here. Even if they have jobs with long hours and it's not possible to have family meals every evening, they may be able to take turns having breakfast in the morning and getting home in time to eat with you at the end of the day. 

The support you get as an IP is pretty intense and it's worrisome that you feel like you need that. Do you have friends, activities, etc? In other words, are you looking for and using the supports that are built into your life? I'm guessing you've already talked to your parents and let them know you're feeling this need- if not, please do. I'm sure they'd rather help you more now rather than see you hospitalized. Same thing with your doctor- make sure he/she knows that you're struggling right now.

I'm afraid Chrissy was right, this is bigger than CC. Keep looking for what you need in your life to help you overcome this disorder. Hugs to you. Hang in there and keep asking for help when you need it. 

ive been in that place where you are , and i totally understand how you feel . but it really isnt the place where you are its what you are doing , whether you are at home or hospital you need to dig deep and find the strength to do this . only you can do this unfortunately . and i know you probably feel totally freaked out about recovery at the min but you need to bite the bullet and stick with it what feels hard and scary at the minute wont always be . you need to believe in yourself take all the help on offer , speak to your family tell them how you feel, its the only way theres a life waiting for you and you need to grab it with both hands dont leave it to late all my love h x